*This post contains graphic details*

Sharing this now because I’m ready to, and because when it happened to me, I found strength from other women with similar stories.

Jude is my rainbow baby. I chose the name because Saint Jude is the patron saint of hope, and Jude is my hope.

I had a miscarriage in November 2019. At 8 weeks, I had seen my baby and heard its heartbeat. I was elated; we had been trying for a second baby for 2 years. Then, at 11 weeks, just a day shy of my next gynae appointment, I discovered, to my greatest fear and dismay, that I was bleeding. We rushed to the gynae, he did a scan and there was no heartbeat. The foetus had failed to grow for two weeks. In a flash, all our joy and hope was gone. I felt grief like never before. Shock, then anger, and then sorrow. I wanted to sink into my own darkness and weep. I didn’t want to die, but I didn’t want to live either.

Because my body had not expelled the foetus fully, I had to expedite the process myself by stuffing pills into my body. Cramps and more bleeding followed. I cried more than ever and hid in my room all day. Even though my husband stayed by my side, I still felt very lonely at times. No one can really know how it feels to lose a life that was inside you, unless it’s from personal experience.

A friend sent me this when she knew what happened: “To think, the first thing you saw when you opened your tiny little eyes was the face of Jesus.” I found great consolation in these words. I’ll see my angel baby in Heaven.

If you are going through or have been through something similar, please know that you are not alone. And it is nothing to be ashamed of. And you can grief. And you can cry (or not). And you will find solace. And when you can finally see light through the tears, you will be stronger, better, kinder.

At the end of 2019, I lost hope for a while. At the start of 2020, I found hope again. I was afraid, but hope gave me courage. I am immensely grateful. As we bid goodbye to a challenging year, let’s hold on to hope.❤️ #miscarriageawareness #miscarriagesupport #hope #angelbaby #rainbowbaby

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受精後約18週目の胎児を鮮明に写した作品「Foetus 18 Weeks」はどのようにして撮影されたのか？(2019)
https://gigazine.net/news/20191120-life-foetus-18-weeks/

「添丁發財」這四個漢字，是中華民族非常喜愛的。多用在祝賀新婚夫婦。不過吾相信，就算是非中華民族，祇要她他知曉，這四個漢字的意識，同樣會欣然接受。那爲什麼這四個漢字，如此廣受大眾接納呢？因爲，小朋友乃夫妻婚後，家庭喜樂、接代的生力軍。有了這些生力軍，夫妻對未來著實有了展望。尤其是男性，自然會增加其奮鬥力。再者，所謂妻、財、子、祿，娶了老婆，財跟著來。有了小朋友，祿位亦隨之。

懂得玄學的人皆知，爲何新婚夫婦，必需在狀邊裝置兩盞燈。這是一種風水，是加持新婚夫婦早生貴子，亦是添丁也。孩子是福氣的一種象徵，沒啥福氣的，還真生不出來呢！當然，也別因爲這原因，就拼命的生（一笑）。要知道，一個人要養幾個口，也真需要更厚的福氣啊！不過，在夫妻「享受」時，不小心又製造了新生命，一定要把她他生下來，千萬勿將她他給墮掉，這不簡單是福氣的大折，更是妳你未來慘痛、悲痛的果報。切記！切記！

添丁也屬於一種旺氣。生人住的地方，就叫著陽宅。死人住的地方，就叫著陰宅。因此，一個家庭有小朋友來報到，家中自然就增添一股生旺之氣，這生旺之氣，會將家中的煞氣給排出。這也就是爲什麼我們會聽到，誰呀誰家中有了小朋友、昇職加薪、中樂透獎等等。另一個說法是之前吾提到，有孩子本是一種福氣，且孩子也是一種水氣。而水氣在風水裡，是個靈魂人物。因水至財，正如魚不能須臾離水，人不能須臾離財是也。

吾，玳瑚師父，並不是昨日剛出道的。在一個成年人歲數的歲月裡，吾會用堪虞術，幫助人們圓子夢。在風水上，絕對可以查知，爲何結婚多年，小朋友遲遲未來報到。若欲想有子女的夫妻，且莫購買缺東與東南角的屋子，因那是難有子女的屋相。倘若已買了，妳你就非得來找吾不可。吾這樣說是因爲，吾懂得將這種無子女相的屋子，轉爲有子女相的屋子。如果妳你認識懂得化解這種屋相的師父，妳你當然可以去找她他，不一定要找吾啦！添丁發財，是含有風水知識的吉祥祝語。

...............

The four Han characters 「添丁發財」 are very much adored by the Chinese. They are mainly used to wish newly weds. But I believe that if a non-Chinese understands the meaning behind these four Han characters, he or she will also gladly accept them. Why are these 4 Han characters so well-accepted by the masses? Because after a couple married, children are the new forces of joy who carry on the family line. With these new troops, the couple will have a firm vision for their future, especially for the man, whose fighting spirit will naturally intensify. Moreover, according to the phrase "Wife, Wealth, Descendants, Status", after marrying a wife, wealth will follow along. And after having children, status will come along too.

People who understand Chinese Metaphysics will definitely know why a newly-wed couple must install two table lamps on the sides of their bed. This is a Feng Shui technique, to bless the couple with a noble son soon, i.e. to add a son to the family. A child is a symbol of good fortune. Those with little fortune will find it difficult to conceive. Of course, please do not over-do it because of this reason! You must know, for one person to feed more mouths indeed require greater fortune! However, should an "accident" happen between a couple, and a life is conceived, you must give birth to the child. You must never abort the foetus. Not only will abortion greatly deplete your fortune, it will also be the cause of your future pain and sorrowful misery! Please remember!

Having a newborn is a form of auspicious energy. A place where living humans reside is called a Yang House whereas a Yin House is one where the dead rest. Hence, when a newborn comes knocking, there will naturally be this flourishing energy of growth. This growth and flourishing energy will drive the baleful energies out of the house. This is why we often hear of incidents where someone struck lottery, or got promoted and a raise at work because of a newborn at home. Another viewpoint is one I have mentioned previously, that having a child is a symbol of good fortune, and children is a form of water energies. And the water energy in Feng Shui plays a critical role. Because the water energy brings wealth, just like fish cannot be away from water, Man cannot survive without Wealth.

I, Master Dai Hu, did not just start out yesterday. In the time as long as the age of a young adult, I have used Feng Shui techniques to fulfil the children dream of many people. In Feng Shui, one can absolutely ascertain why a couple remains childless after many years of marriage. For couples wishing to have a child, do not buy a house that is lacking the East and South-East sectors as that kind of house represents a "childless" home. If you have already bought such a house, you must come look for me. I say it so because I know how to transform a "childless" home to one with children. If you know a master who has such an ability, of course, you can engage his/her service, not necessarily me! The Chinese phrase 「添丁發財」 is a well-wishing phrase steeped in Feng Shui knowledge.

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Music provided by Free Vibes: https://goo.gl/NkGhTg
Folk Chinese (Royalty Free Music) by PeriTune: https://soundcloud.com/sei_peridot/fo...
Attribution 3.0 Unported (CC BY 3.0)
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/...

***********************

enjoy my chit chat get ready with me although im going nowhere that day. also i didn't really chat, i was busy describing what im doing instead.

i reviewed the tarteist pro palette ancient ago, if you wanna watch foetus azwa here's the link
➡https://youtu.be/UiJa_Fu6QdM


➡CAN WE GET 50 LIKES FOR THE VIDEO??
here, have a virtual cookie ? as my treat

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AZWA, 25 & im from Sabah

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『百見顔」(Hyamikao)』寺田創一feat. 森高千里

「The Plain Moritaka Nights」10月26日公演より

森高千里コメント
この「百見顔（Hyamikao)」を初めて聴いたとき私は鳥肌が立ちました。歌詞が無いのにちゃんと歌がある。以前から歌詞が無い歌を唄いたいと漠然と思っていました。それってどんな曲なんだろう？と具体的なイメージも湧きませんでした。このHyamikaoを聴いたときに「ああ、これだったんだ！」と本当に鳥肌が立ちました。
寺田創一さんから『森高さんがもし良かったら「Hyamikao」を「百見顔」と表記したいんですが』と言われ『特に大事な意味がある訳ではないんですが「百回見た顔」か「百の顔」とかいうまあどうでもいい意味なんですけど、森高さんの声を切り刻んで繋いだらたまたまHyamikaoになったんです。そのフレーズが印象的なので、漢字で表記したいなと思っているだけなので、漢字がいやならローマ字でもカタカナでもいいんです。』と言われました。私はなんかほっとして寺田さんに「百見顔」でいいですよと答えました。切り刻んで繋いで、特別意味がある歌を作ったんじゃないんだ、偶然の産物なんだと知ると、この曲がぐっと私に近づいて来ました。すごく親近感が湧きました。聞く人によってイメージを自由に持てる歌かもしれない。
何語かあるいはなんて言っているのか分からない言葉のような響きを意味のある言葉のように歌える。すごく自由だと思いました。直ぐにでも歌ってみたいと思いました。この曲を完成させて直ぐに歌えるのが10月26、27日のゼップダイバーシティのライブでした。この映像は10月26日のライブです。初めて披露した「百見顔」です。
ライブで歌ってみると、やはり不思議な曲でした。ちゃんと意味のある歌でした。意味のありそうな歌詞みたいなものが私の中に気持ちとして湧き出てきました。歌いながらお客さんとあるいは他の誰かと親しくコミュニケーションを取っているような気持ちになりました。
この日の「百見顔」は、人と通じ合って行く気持ちになれる歌でした。翌27日の「百見顔」は「歌って本当に楽しい」という心から感謝する気持ちの歌でした。きっと聞く人もその時の気持ちでいろんな聞こえ方をする歌なんじゃないかなと思います。ほんとうに不思議な曲です。寺田創一さんは偶然出来た曲だと言ってくれましたが、私は必然だと思うようにしました。なんか遠い遠い宇宙からのプレゼントのような曲です。私はそう思うようにしています。ずっと歌っていきたい曲です。　森高千里


◎「百見顔（Hyamikao） / Foetus Traum」アナログレコード予約受付中！

人気ダンスミュージックアーティスト、寺田創一、SEKITOVA　ら2人が森高千里を迎えて制作するミニアルバムが発売！
クラブミュージックに特化した配信サービス「WASABEAT」（ワサビート）の企画と指揮のもと、日本を代表する2人のダンスミュージック・プロデューサー、寺田創一、SEKITOVAが、森高千里をフィーチャーした新曲2曲とそれぞれのリミックス2曲を含む計4曲入りのミニアルバムを制作。このアルバムは、レコードの製造販売サービス「QRATES」で12インチのアナログレコードとして2,000 枚限定で制作。

QRATES販売ページ
URL:　https://qrates.com/artists/wasabeat/items/11145


◎ ライブ　オンエアーのお知らせ
CS放送TBSチャンネル1にて12月と1月に「The Dance Moritaka nights」赤坂BLITZと「The Plain Moritaka nights」Zepp DiverCityがオンエアー！

★【InterFM897 Special Program】
森高千里のルーツミュージックを探るスペシャルプログラムのオンエアー。「American Express Presents InterFM897×COTTON CLUB　 THE ROOTS OF MUSIC 森高千里 SPECIAL」
【放送予定日】11/17(火) 20:00-21:00【DJ】井手大介

最新情報
森高千里オフィシャルHP　http://www.moritaka-chisato.com/