CW/TW: violence, abuse, trauma Today is Father’s Day in Taiwan. Today marks one whole year since I spoke to my father. I cut him off after a physical altercation with him ended with him saying: “Women get beat because they mouth off, and women like you deserve to get beat.” Spoiler: there is no happy reconciliation at the end of this post. I have no gracious lesson on forgiveness, instead I want to take the opportunity to encourage boundaries and cutting off toxicity, no matter who. My father first beat me when I was 12. I had gotten caught helping others cheat on an exam. He used a belt. I was forced to kneel. I was not allowed to move, cry, or defend myself. The bruising was so bad I couldn’t sit comfortably for days. The physical abuse stopped when I was 17 when he attempted to swing a wooden stool - with full force - at my head. My mother intervened. I would have probably died if she hadn’t. What did more damage was the emotional and verbal abuse. He held money over my head as control, and his favorite phrase (that I heard at least twice a year between the ages of 14 and 24) was: “You don’t want to take my advice? Sure, be my guest. You can pay for school yourself.” Aside from these large, violent episodes and creating and capitalizing on my financial dependency, he would also constantly belittle and mock me, manipulate me into doing things I didn’t want to, disguise decisions as suggestions, and lash out with no qualms. But honestly, the hardest part about cutting him off have been the incessant barrage of people calling on me to let him back in, remember what he’s given, think of how he did show me love. I’d like to tell these people that they are complicit in his abuse, that nothing ever justifies raining entitled rage, control, and abuse down on anyone, especially a child. So if you are someone who has been trying to draw boundaries with a toxic family member (or anyone, really) and has been made to feel unreasonable or unkind: I see you. Fight for your truth. Fight for your peace. Draw boundaries and stick to them. I support you. And if you are someone who thinks I’m being drastic: shame on you. People like you are part of the problem.

Astaghfirullah. woof cari lirik dulu sebelum nyanyi lagu2 k? pengsan sis. to my adik2 and anaks, its ok to have fun, at home, when only your family is watching, and don't have to record, have fun lah dancing sampai pengsan ( cam workout kan?). Also make sure lagu2 tu x yucky mcm lirik lagu ni k? Posted @withregram • @uyainaarshad RALAT‼️‼️ First of all, Yana nak mintak maaf. Tadi Yana buat satu posting untuk buat giveaway iPhone kepada followers Yana. Sayang sekali Yana gunakan lagu ini sebagai musicnya tanpa memahami lirik disebalik lagu ni. At first, betul2 ingat ni bukan Bahasa Inggeris. Sebab bunyi dia aneh 🥵 Tapi nasib baik @jaydeesm dm cepat2 dan bagitau tentang makna disebalik lirik lagu ni. Thank you so much Jaydee! 😔 Kepada followers Yana semua, Yana mintak maaf. Nanti bila dah tukar music (takde complicit lirik macam ni definitely) Yana akan buat posting untuk giveaway iPhone tu esok ya. Sekali lagi, Yana mintak maaf ya. Harap kita semua belajar dari benda ni terutamanya untuk diri Yana sendiri! 😔😔😔

RALAT‼️‼️ First of all, Yana nak mintak maaf. Tadi Yana buat satu posting untuk buat giveaway iPhone kepada followers Yana. Sayang sekali Yana gunakan lagu ini sebagai musicnya tanpa memahami lirik disebalik lagu ni. At first, betul2 ingat ni bukan Bahasa Inggeris. Sebab bunyi dia aneh 🥵 Tapi nasib baik @jaydeesm dm cepat2 dan bagitau tentang makna disebalik lirik lagu ni. Thank you so much Jaydee! 😔 Kepada followers Yana semua, Yana mintak maaf. Nanti bila dah tukar music (takde complicit lirik macam ni definitely) Yana akan buat posting untuk giveaway iPhone tu esok ya. Sekali lagi, Yana mintak maaf ya. Harap kita semua belajar dari benda ni terutamanya untuk diri Yana sendiri! 😔😔😔