Photo 1: Stage make up, spray tan, down to 900 calories a day, 6am training sessions before work 6x/week for the sport that involves literally being judged in comparison to other athletes… earned pride in discipline, sacrificed health for physique competition. 2016. Photo 2: Photography make up, visually saw me as masculine for the first time, interpretation of a historical character & his kimono, evoke and express for photography… creative output in the unfamiliar beyond movement. 2018. Photo 3: Stage make up, make shift costume with cloth tape & random pieces, prioritized work instead of competition prep, competed with low confidence, major breakdown post-comp, alcohol comfort, missed flight back to SG from Tokyo, crushed, cruel to self, further humiliated by people I was working with… led to more behaviour that left me associating my SG living environment with disgust 2010/2011 Photo 4: no make up, baby hair after baldness, wore masks in fear, confronted regularly with hospital stays, felt undesirable, self-conscious, foreign to the changed body… never felt stronger, bolder, braver, more determined and more focused. 2019 Photo 5: Advert make up, absolutely no say in what I preferred/wanted to look like, that’s what I was casted as for the commercial (Japanese Housewife)… another form of acting, diving into the comfort of being another character (comfort as in not being myself). Mindset in 2009. All not me on a day to day basis today… but all a part of me that contribute to how I think, say and do today. Our external expressions of beauty isn’t always authentic to the internal, but guess what, it likely won’t be permanent… unless we allow the feedback loop of thoughts+emotion drive our behaviour down the toxic turn at the fork in the road. Our “Best Face Forward” doesn’t mean the same thing for everyone, that’s the beauty of beauty’s interpretation, and I look forward to be chatting about this topic with @pearll_y @strongerwstell @maisiekwong on the panel of @chika.mag x @beautybotanicahk event tonight See you there? 💋

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