Kalau bab menghadap ujian anak sakit ni, idola aku adalah mak aku sendiri. Walau aku tahu resah & risau dia sama macam kebanyakan mak-mak lain tapi dia lah wanita besi yg akan nampak steady. Diam tak mengeluh. Tak terzahir risau. Kalau nangis pun di belakang-belakang time berdoa mengadu dengan tuhan sahaja. Mak aku cakap; aku, macam arwah abah. Anak sakit, aku panik. Aku gelabah. Mudah menangis. Risau yang ketara. Ke Klinik ke Hospital terus. Sakit sikit pun aku dah bergenang2 air mata.  Begitulah mereka saling melengkapi. Kisah ringkas; Sabtu haritu Ibrahim mengadu sakit perut sebelah kanan, jam 5 pagi. Selepas subuh terus ke Andorra sebab alang-alang ada check-up kehamilan 33 minggu di situ. Malangnya Andorra takda specialist surgeon, tapi doktor dah suspek appendicitis lalu aku minta refer ke Hospital Pantai saja. Aku tengok Ibrahim main melompat-lompat selepas tu. Tanya “sakit tak?” dia kata “tak”. Jadi aku cakap; takpa kita pantau di rumah dulu. Sampai di rumah, Ibrahim tak macam Ibrahim yang selalu. Yang melompat-lompat berlari-lari buat backflip 😣 Tapi baring saja dan jalan membongkok. Ajak makan, taknak. Masakkan makanan fevret pun dia taknak. Offer vitagen pun taknak. Aku dah mula risau semula. Tanya sakit tak? Tetap “tak,” dia jawab. Aku sambung perhati. Minum susu, tak sempat habis—muntah. Minum air, muntah. Tak boleh jadi, terus bawa ke Hospital Pantai— sampai jam 7 petang, doctor terus confirmkan appendicitis. Kena bedah jam 10 malam dan dan tu gak.  Benda jadi terlalu pantas. Waktu doctor explain tu, aku cuba tahan emosi. Mengulum bicara. Tapi bibir semakin bergetar. Air mata dah bertakung tak tertampung dek kelopak. Macam biasa, malam tu memang malam air mata lah untuk aku. Asal doktor explain aku nangis. Asal kena sign-sign air mata mengalir. Campur sekali dengan hormon sarat mengandung agaknya.  Apa pun. Aku redha. Sesungguhnya, Allah memang akan uji kita dengan apa yang kita cintai. Moga ujian-ujian kecil begini menguatkan lagi kasih sayang kami sefamili.  Cerita seterusnya korang sambung la sendiri ikut versi sukahati korang berdasarkan gambar-gambar dalam post kali ini. #thaqifibrahim #love #tabarakallah #anakanakamak #strongboy

CW/TW: abuse, emotional violence, gaslighting, cheating. Let me start by saying I am okay now. I ended the relationship in December and have blocked this person from my life and have had no contact whatsoever in the last three months. I may be putting myself in danger by posting this, but I feel it needs to be said. I’ve only recently started unpacking some of the compartmentalized trauma and letting myself feel the rage, the despair, the hurt, and the terrible sadness I ignored to protect myself. Some of my close friends knew parts of it, and they all expressed concern to me at some point, but there really was nothing anyone else could do for me when I was stuck in that place. I was mocked and criticized constantly. For my art, my eating habits, my appearance, my social media, my friends, my beliefs, my joy. I was monitored and scrutinized and belittled on such a scale that I gave up photography and posting for months (some of you may remember that). I almost quit music. He would constantly get into arguments with me when he drank, get furious with me for calling out his drinking, dump me, block me, and then take me back the next day as if nothing happened. When I caught him cheating, he lied and used all sorts of reasons to cover up the truth, so drastic and devastating that I felt like a horrible person for pushing any further in my questioning. Once I was threatened with a libel lawsuit that then all but silenced me from confiding in my friends. On a separate occasion, he used my thumb to unlock and comb through my phone while I was sleeping in a hospital bed due to appendicitis. Bit by bit, I was isolated from my support system, stripped of my confidence, devoid of self worth, and my sense of reality was so distorted that he convinced me I was of equal fault for what he did to me. Was I perfect? No, but that gave him no right to do any of this. I’m not saying this to attack him or to ask for pity. I am saying this because i want to declare that I survived. And if you are someone who has been thinking about leaving a toxic relationship but don’t know if you should, I’m telling you: do it. Nothing justifies abuse. You’ll be much happier.

Being kinda accident prone, I have always suffer from quite a lot of cuts and such unknowing. Hence, I am excited to try @noscarna_official as I have heard so much on how it can help to improve appearance scars! Yes, you heard me right, keloid scars, acne scars, or even surgical scars. Ima applying it on my ugly surgical scar from appendicitis surgery which I did when I was 19. I hope this lightweight gel with Heparin Sodium, Allantoin, and Dexpanthenoln will help me bid goodbye to this long ugly scar. For those who wanna try, it is available on Shopee at the Dong-A Official Store. Remember quote ‘𝘋𝘖𝘕𝘎𝘕𝘖𝘚𝘊𝘈’ to enjoy 20% OFF at check out. 🤗🤗🤗 . . #Noscarna #dongapham #scarcure #scarremover #acnescar #acnecare #acne #product #pimple #skincare #korea #beauty #bestseller #dermacare #dermacosmetic #beautydiary #beautyessentials #beautyflatlay #beautyfreak #beautytalk#beautygram #beautyblogs #beautysg #beautystuff #beautyaddict #beautycare #beautychat #beautydiaries #beautymania #beautycommunity