【616 兩百萬人遊行之排名不分先後左右】

Never Say Never！

"It always seems impossible until it's done. "

616大遊行基本上是破了香港的歷史紀錄，我懷疑有機會甚至可能刷新了世界紀錄，在一個七百萬人的小都會中，居然有二百萬人上街遊行，不分左中右政見一同上街，去反對林鄭月娥這個政府！

「二百萬人根本就是普通香港人，是不分藍黃左中右」

各位要記著，可能兩年之後的現在，那些藍絲、KOL正在不斷洗板，不斷篡改歷史，將整件事情扭曲，以黑暴污名化，但大家要記著兩年前的6 月16日，是兩百萬香港人和平上街，而在那兩百萬人中，有很多人在投票是投給工聯會、民建聯，屬於傳統界定為藍絲和建制派的人，又或是重來也不問世事的人，但是當時他們為什麼也要上街，就是要求林鄭月娥撤回送中條例，啊，不對，林鄭月娥在6月16日前已經暫援了送中條例，暫援了送中條例都還有200萬人上街，這代表他們是在反對林鄭月娥這個政權，和反對香港警察在六月時所施行的警察暴力，所以他們才會全部湧出來！

有很多機會讓林鄭月娥和香港人溝通，可以改善香港、改革香港，無論她認錯或不認錯都好，她總會有方法能挽救整個香港，若然林鄭月娥仍是真的愛香港的說。可是林鄭月娥這個八婆卻包拗頸，反過來還恐怕香港未夠撕裂，她其後一直鼓勵警察暴力，不自我檢討，不聆聽市民訴求，最終引發了一連抗爭行動，甚至更大的群眾運動。

其實，我們香港人是否有可能再創紀錄，甚至破埋二百萬人的數字，大家可能會灰心，甚至乎覺得沒可能啦，亞哥，尤其是現在有國安法，民陣申請遊行又不獲淮，香港人顧著移民，我們的人又都全坐了監，但各位，我加入了社民連這麼久，大家都知我是比較天真的，就是 Never Say Never，就像我背上的文字， 是曼德拉的名句，It always seems impossible until it's done. 意思是事情永遠在成功前總像是沒可能實踐，其實616 就是最佳例子！

無論點都好，我相信一個獨裁政權是不會千秋萬世，我今天在監獄裡面，已經在鍛鍊自己身體，正在不斷做運動，在監獄中雖然食物很難入口，但是卻很清淡，再配合我增加了的運動量，這樣會使我更加長命😎

我好快會出來和大家見面，我而家應承住你先，我放監出來時應該會有返六嚿腹肌的！💪🏻

—————————

【616 Two Million March: A March of People from all across the Political Spectrum】

The 616 march is basically a record-breaking event in Hong Kong's history, and I suspect it may have even set a world record, as 2 million people took to the streets in a small city of 7 million, despite the fact that Carrie Lam still remains a stubborn bxtch.

I was really moved by the 2 million people who took to the streets to oppose Carrie Lam's government, regardless of their political views. Perhaps now, 2 years after this march, these 'blue ribbons' and KOLs are now constantly whitewashing and falsifying history, distorting the whole incident and stigmatising it with black violence. However, we must remember that out of those two million people who went on the march, many of them voted for the FTU and the DAB, many of them are people who are traditionally defined as 'blue', many of them are members of the pro-establishment camp, and many of them were those who do not care about the world, but why did they take to the streets too? Did they want the withdrawal of the Extradition Bill? Nope. Carrie Lam has already withdrawn the Bill before the 16th, and 2 million people still decided to take to the streets, and this means they were against the regime, and they are in opposition to the police brutality that they witnessed in June.

These 2 million people were just ordinary Hong Kong people, regardless of blue, yellow, left, centre or right. There were many opportunities for Mrs Lam to communicate with Hong Kong people, to improve and reform Hong Kong, and whether she admitted her mistakes or not, there was always a way for her to save Hong Kong as a whole. However, Carrie Lam, has been so stubborn that she is afraid that Hong Kong is not torn apart enough. She has been turning a blind eye to police violence, not reviewing herself and not listening to people's demands, which eventually led to a series of protests and even a bigger mass movement.

In fact, today, we may be discouraged as to whether Hong Kong people can set another record, or even break the record of 2 million people, especially when there is a national security law and that the pro-democracy camp has been denied permission to demonstrate. A lot of Hong Kong people are thinking about migrating, and a lot of us are in jail. I've been in LSD for quite some time, and everyone knows I've always remained hopeful (some might say I’m naive). Never say never, and as what the back of my T shirt says, “It always seems impossible until it's done.” (A famous quote from Mandela) In fact, June 16 is the perfect example!

I believe that a dictatorship will not last forever. I am in prison today, but I am already exercising. Prison food is not exactly pleasant, it's blend, but exercising with this diet, I'm gonna live longer! 😎

I'll be out soon, and I promise I’ll be back with 6 packs. 💪🏻

———————————
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今天有4個留學諮詢。

一個是南加大的學生 (Skype)
一個台大經濟生轉 Data Science
一個是陽明醫學生要申請免疫科學
一個是交大資工生要申請 computer science

前陣子跟幾個從國外回國的朋友在聊天。

聊到一半，有的朋友說他們疫情和緩後想要「回美國」也有的說要「回英國」

因為很熟了，所以我就單刀直入地說：「蛤？回？什麼意思啊」是「去英國、去美國」吧。才念個幾年就要「回」西方國家囉
（是不是太兇 🤪)

同時
他們笑我嘴巴一直說愛台灣
但工作卻一直把人送離台灣
（坦白講，這種感覺在上次總統選舉亡國感強時特別強烈 😂)

我心情也是很矛盾。

brain drain (人才外流) 本來就是個大難題。
每個人的人生都有自己的規劃，即便是親近的人也難以置喙。

即便再愛自己的國家，我也看得清楚對於某一些專業、領域的人在台灣要發展得好，要有夠多的勇氣、夠多的資源。因為在那些面向，這個國家無法「對得起我們的努力」

但我也只能把眼前的事情做好
期待用專業發揮一點影響力
（我們的留學文件批改真的太強，通常一改學生就出去了)

假裝所有人最後都會學成歸國回像大仁哥、張忠謀一樣回台灣貢獻
假裝所有人都會在人文、科技、科學的專業上努力讓世界更好一點

可能有點太 naive 但有時也許 naive 點好
人生有時就是會有這樣無解、矛盾的事

#尋人啟事
#胡湘荷妳在哪裡

我的母親已八十歲，
疫情期間，
母親常在電話跟我聊一些過去的事情，
母親的記憶力非常好，
從她十歲開始到現在，
她幾乎能記得所有的事情。

當然，
她記的幾乎都是些令人心碎的事。

就像她的妹妹＿
我的小阿姨，
跟她失聯了四十三年的事，
一直讓母親忘不了。

小阿姨屬猴，
64歲、
1956年出生。
大約1977年離開緬甸，
去到泰國投靠大舅，
又輾轉在1978年左右去了加拿大。
之後，
就失去了聯絡。

自從有網路以來，
我就幫忙母親在各種尋人版上刊登過尋人啟事，
但都沒有下文。
可能是刊登的資訊不齊全。

四十三年前，
小阿姨從緬甸到泰國又到加拿大，
可能證件、姓名等都跟原本的不一樣了。

近期，
與我母親通話，
母親又提到失聯的小阿姨。
她叮嚀我們是否能幫忙她再找找看。

母親今年八十歲，
她很想知道她的小妹，
是否還活在這世界上？

附上母親說的話，
她讓我公佈在網路上。

希望有緣，
我的小阿姨能看到。

Midi 於永和
2020 April 12

#胡湘荷
#尋人

胡湘荷，妳在哪裡？

阿湘，
我是妳的二姐胡明珠。
我們分別有好長一段時間了。

妳離開緬甸時，
我二兒子才剛出生，
都還不滿一個月，
妳來看他時，
還說：
「他的臉白白的，
是不是我給他擦粉？」
現在，
我二兒子四十三歲，
我呢，
已經快滿八十二歲，
八十多歲，
是老人了。

人家說，
人愈老記性愈差，
我是相反，
我的記性反倒是愈老愈好。
但是，我能記住的，
都是些傷心的事情。

也許，
我們這代人，
也沒有什麼快樂的事情可以記住。
就像妳的離開，
我們從此失去聯絡，
想起妳，
就讓我難過。

妳還活著嗎？
我想妳會活得好好的。
妳有幾個小娃了？
過得怎麼樣呢？

四十三年前，
妳離開腊戌時，
妳還在腊戌漢人學校唸書。

有天放學，
我去攔住妳，
跟妳說：
「妳以後每天下課後就來我家吃飯，
別去大姐家吃了…」
妳說：「好」。
妳也就跟著我到我家吃飯了。

我還記得，
妳才剛坐下，
我不知怎麼搞的，
就說了那些話。

我說：
「大姐讓妳以後來我這裡吃飯，
別去她家吃了，
讓妳三姐去她家吃，
妳三姐不挑嘴，
妳比較挑嘴…」。

這些話，
是大姐跟我說的，
我當時太懵，
太老實，
我也不曉得，
為什麼要說這些大姐講的話？
為什麼要講給妳聽？

我完全，
沒有擔待不了妳的意思呀。
不管多窮，
姐妹間互相照顧都是應該的，
我轉述大姐說妳的那些話，
是沒有任何理由的，
就是我以為是姐妹之間的聊天，
講出來而已。

我那時候過得很困難，
養著六個小娃，
病死了兩個。
但是，
照顧自己的妹妹是天經地義的。

那天，
我邊說就邊到廚房去炒菜，
難得妳來這裡吃飯，
總要多一樣什麼菜才行。

我炒完菜端著出來，
妳就不見了。

當時，
房東許老嬤嬤還在場，
她說，
「我轉進廚房，
妳就站起來走了…」

我那時才發覺；
我講錯話了。

妳這麼敏感的人呀！

我一路追著妳，
追到大水塘路上＿
到妳跟妳三姐住的地方，
妳正在哭。
妳正在哭著跟妳三姐吵架，
妳跟妳三姐說：
「二哥寄來的錢分來…」
妳三姐不敢應妳，
在旁沉默著。
這筆妳要的錢，
確實是妳二哥寄來給妳們兩姐妹的生活費。

那時，
媽媽剛去世不久，
大哥人去了泰國；
在泰國北部滿堂安了家，
家裡所有的兄弟陸續去了泰國。
而爸爸因為沒身份證在貴概被移民局抓住，
送到仰光坐滿九年牢，
緬甸政府正打算著把他送到台灣去的時候…

那天，
我看著妳哭，
我就明白了妳的心情。

妳三姐在準備跟她愛人私奔，
在腊戌妳也只有大姐、我和妳三姐了。

我和大姐早結婚，
各自已有有家庭。
如今妳三姐又要嫁人，
大哥他們又遠在泰國，
母親去世，
父親坐牢。
妳接下來就要孤苦零丁的一個人生存了。

一個十八歲的女孩。
我知道妳的害怕和難過。

那天，
看著妳哭，
我很後悔把大姐說的話講出來。

妳應該了解我的。
我一直都盡力照顧我的家人，
當時從雲南背著妳逃難到緬甸邊境，
背了一天一夜。
我都是自願的。

妳記得嗎？
妳到腊戌讀書時，
很想要一條件仔褲，
那時許多人都買不起，
我還是費盡力氣買給妳。
妳知道我是心疼妳的。

妳離開腊戌的那天，
妳說妳要去泰國了。
臨走時，
我拿了300塊錢給妳，
妳知道嗎？
那時候我拿出300塊錢緬幣是到處借來的錢呀。

阿湘，
我知道妳一直都在受苦，
去到泰國，
大嫂可能待不得妳，
妳二哥、三哥他們當時也沒能力照顧妳，
妳在泰國又沒有合法的身份；
哪可能有其它去處。

最後妳選擇結婚，
我想也只是為了解脫這些難過的生活罷了。

之後，
就聽說妳嫁了人，
跟著丈夫家去了加拿大。

之後，
我就再也就打聽不到妳的下落了。

我們最後的連繫，
停留在泰國北部滿堂，
或是停留在泰緬邊境美賽，
我都有些記不得了。

那時，
聽說妳從大哥家跑出來了？
又聽說妳去暫住在一對老年夫妻的家裡？
這些，
都是後來傳到腊戌的消息了。

妳去加拿大前，
還寄來給我和大姐和妳三姐每個人一件衣裳布、
一條籠基。
三份禮物裡夾著三張白紙，
寫著：「大姐的、二姐的、三姐的…」。
我還記得，
那是託「義號佛堂」楊前人帶來的禮物。

那條籠基到現在我還留著＿
孔雀花紋的。

阿湘，
我這個作二姐的也羞愧妳了。
當時，
聽到這些關於妳的困難的消息，
只能每天想念著，
想到傷心，
我沒有任何能力。

那時，
我是，
連從緬甸腊戌到泰國邊境的車票都買不起呀。
當時我養著這麼多小娃，
吃一口飯都難。

阿湘，
現在講這些都只是回憶了，
都是我們老人家的回憶，
都不重要了。

那為什麼還要講這些呢？
就是，
為了，
想讓妳看到，
看到這些我說的話，
證實，
我是妳的二姐而已。
想讓妳知道，
我一直在找妳。

我活到八十歲，
夠了，
人活這麼老沒什麼意思，
都盡是傷心的事情。

我不知哪天會死去。
但如果可能的話，
在死去之前，
能讓我知道一下妳的消息。

我想知道，
妳在哪裡？
我想知道，
妳還活著嗎？

阿湘，
爸爸十幾年前已經去世，
大哥六年前去世，
連大姐，
前年也不在世上了。

妳二哥；
他住在泰國山邊荒地裡，
幫人家看田地，
過得不是很好，
但也不用擔心，
我在泰國的二兒子和大姑娘時常會去照顧他。

妳三哥，
講到也是讓我難過呀。

他大前年腦出血，
去醫院醫好了，
但醫好後，
很奇怪，
突然忘記了漢人話，
只會講泰國話。
後來不久，
他就偷偷上吊自殺了。

你說，
我們兄弟姐妹這是什麼樣的命運呢？

阿湘，
我們家沒剩下什麼人了，
妳三姐、妳四哥還在泰國。
還有我，
我還活著。
我還在緬甸，在腊戌。

除了妳，
我們一家人也就剩下這三個人了。

阿湘，
我們已經分別已四十三年，
妳也有六十多歲了吧？
我很想知道，
妳在哪裡？
妳還活著嗎？

如果有緣，
妳看到這信，
就回我一下吧。

妳的二姐胡明珠，
日日夜夜，
在等妳的消息。

二姐胡明珠　於緬甸腊戌
2020 年4月11日
姪Midi代筆

找人信箱：humingju1638@gmail.com

**************
#notice for a missing person

translated by Jane Lin
****************

Where are you, Hu Shine-Ho?

Ah-Shine,
This is your 2nd sister, Hu Ming-Ju. It has been a long time since we last saw each other. When you left Burma, my 2nd son was not even one-month-old. You asked why he was so fair-skinned? Had I put powder on his face? Now, he is 43 and I am almost 82.

Eighty something...I am indeed an old woman! People say that you lose your memory as you age. I am quite the opposite. The older I get, the better I remember! But, what I remember is nothing but sadness. Perhaps, our generation just doesn't have much happiness. Like you leaving home, we losing contact forever…. The thought of you puts me in such despair. Are you still alive? I imagine you living a good life?!! How many children? How are you?

Forty-three years ago, you were still a student at Chinese High School in Lashio. One day after school, I went to intercept you, "From now on, come to my home after school. Don't go to 1st sister's for dinner anymore." You said, "OK" and followed me home.

I still remember clearly that you had just sat down and I said, "The first sister asks that you come to me for dinner. She will take 3rd sister who's easy-going, not like you, a picky eater." I don't know what possessed me that day? Why I had to tell you what 1st sister had to say? Was I too naive? Too honest? Too stupid? I had absolutely no intension not to take care of you - we are sisters!!!! We have to care for each other, no matter how poor we are!!! The first sister's words just came out as a casual chat between sisters. Nothing more!

Life was tough for me at the time. Diseases took away two of my six children. But that didn't mean I would ignore my God-given responsibility as your elder sister. Without realizing the impact of my "casual chat", I went into the kitchen wondering what additional dish I could come up with for your first dinner with us. When I came out with the dishes, you were already gone! According to our landlady, Granny Hsu, you just got up and left as soon as I was out of sight. Only then did I realize my stupid mistake and how sensitive you were! Immediately, I ran after you, all the way to Big Pond Road where you and 3rd sister stayed. You were crying, asking 3rd sister for the money that 2nd brother sent. 3rd sister just kept quiet.

Indeed! The money that you demanded from 3rd sister was to cover living expenses for both of you. At that time, Mother had already passed away. The first brother went to Thailand, had already settled his own family in Pong Ngam. All the brothers followed suit. Father got caught in Kutkai by the immigration for not having an I.D. and had been in prison in Rangoon for 9 years. The Burmese government was just about to send him to Taiwan…. That day, while watching you cry, I understood how you felt. The third sister was getting ready to run away with her lover and both 1st sister and I were married young with our own families to deal with. As an 18-year-old with no mother, a father in prison, you must have felt all alone, sad and very scared.

I was filled with regrets watching you that day. But, please understand that I have always tried my best to take care of my family. When we escaped from Yunnan to Burma as refugees, I carried you on my back all day and all night without any complaints. When you went to Lashio for school, you wanted a pair of jeans so badly, remember? It was such a luxury that most people could not afford. Yet, I gathered all my might to get you a pair. You know I always have a soft spot for you, don't you? The day you were leaving Lashio for Thailand, do you know how many places I had to try to gather 300 Burmese kyats for you???

Ah-Shine, I know it was a huge struggle for you in Thailand. It's impossible that 1st sister-in-law would put you up. Second and 3rd brothers were in no position to help you….. I suppose you were pushed into marriage, just to end this desperate situation. Last I heard, you moved to Canada with your husband. From that point onward, in spite of all the efforts, I just couldn't find any trace of your whereabouts.

Our last contact stopped at Pong Ngam, Thailand. Or, was it MaeSai? I can't quite remember now. The news came to Lashio that you had run away from 1st brother's home. Later, you were temporarily staying with an older couple….

Before leaving for Canada, you sent, via Abbott Yang of the Yi Buddhist Hall, a package for us - each gift had a piece of dress fabric and a longyi, clearly labeled on a piece of white paper: "for 1st sister," "for 2nd sister," "for 3rd sister." I still have that longyi, with a peacock pattern, after all these years!

Ah-Shine, I feel deeply embarrassed to be your elder sister. Upon hearing the challenges that you had to face at the time, I could do nothing but worrying and feeling sad. I couldn't even afford the bus fare from Lashio to the Thai border. I barely managed to feed my own children!
Ah-Shine, What's the use of talking about these old memories? These sad memories of us old people have no importance but to serve to show you that I am indeed your 2nd sister.… that I have been looking for you all these years.

To live in my eighties is more than enough for me. It's not much fun to live this long - just a lifetime of sadness. I have no idea when I will die and I don't really care. I just wish that I could hear from/about you before I leave this world. I want to know where you are. I want to know if you are still alive.

Ah-Shine, Father passed away more than a decade ago. The first brother left us 6 years ago, so did the first sister 3 years ago. The second brother works as a field caretaker in a remote Thai mountainside. It's not a good life, but both my 2nd son and first daughter are also in Thailand; can visit and take care of him often. The saddest is our 3rd brother. He had a stroke 3 years ago. After recovery, he suddenly forgot his Chinese, could only speak in Thai. Not long after, he hanged himself! Please tell me what kind of fate has been bestowed on our siblings??? What is the meaning of life???
Ah-Shine, There aren't that many of us left, only 3rd sister and 4th brother in Thailand and me still in Burma. In Lashio.

Ah-Shine, We have been apart for 43 years. You should be in your 60s by now. I really would like to know if you are still alive and where you live. God willing, you will see this letter and reply!!! (humingju1638@gmail.com)

Waiting to hear from you, day and night!

Second sister, Hu Ming-Ju
Lashio, Myanmar
April 11. 2020

前國家主席江澤民曾在電視鏡頭面前批評香港記者too young, sometimes naive，讓許多人都注意了naive這個字。這字用作貶詞，是幼稚無知、頭腦簡單的意思，如： 一、I can't believe you were so naive as to trust him.