疫情持續，但學習不能中斷。

今天與同學分享Presentality最新的寫作技巧分析。

英文寫作絕對不只是將單字句型套用在模板上就好了。

用專業的寫作方法讓你的寫作有意義!

★★★★★★★★★★★★

最近疫情再次高升，駐台灣的Bloomberg 記者寫了一篇文章：

Complacency Let Covid Erode Taiwan’s Only Line of Defense

自滿讓 COVID 侵蝕了台灣唯一的防線

文章：https://bloom.bg/3ywfKA9

我們來看看Bloomberg寫的一篇好文章：

★★★★★★★★★★★★

📌 結構：當調查故事寫

這篇文章讀起來一點都不無聊，不只是因為它攸關我們的社會，也是因為他在結構上，就像一個偵探調查的故事：

1. Opening line: 戲劇性開場，不要無聊
2. Background: 然後再給簡短背景
3. Key moment: 影響後續發展最關鍵的事件
4. Outcome: 這個決定的後果
5. What to do: 國際專家建議應該怎麼做
6. But.....: 可惜，可能做不到
7. Details: 後面的部分，再進入細節

★★★★★★★★★★★★

📌 最好的開頭 = 簡短有力、抓住注意力、又可以做結論

我們先來看開頭三段：

All the virus had to do was get through the border.

Until this week, Taiwan’s Covid-19 containment appeared to be so effective that virtually no other defenses were put in place: few tests, no local surveillance to pick up undetected infection and close to zero vaccination.

Lauded as one of most successful places in the world at containment, a high level of complacency about the risks had set in among both the public and authorities. Covid-19 seemed to be something happening only in the outside world.

如果是我們認識大部分的人來寫，通常會從第二段開始。為什麼？因為總是要解釋背景嘛！而且任何人在研究這個議題，都會從背景開始教育自己，所以就不自覺的從背景寫起。

但他們不這麼做，反而以一個吸引人的方式開頭：
All the virus had to do was get through the border.

這個開頭有幾個優點：
•簡短一行，讓人不會看到一大坨字就不想要繼續看
•有故事性：好像病毒是一個入侵的敵人
•又是結論：怎麼會發生？一旦病毒溜進來了，就會發生

這種是非常理想的開頭：因為就算我沒有時間看剩下的，也會理解到文章的重點：邊境守的很嚴，但是裡面很鬆散。

第一句，下的太好了。

★★★★★★★★★★★★

📌 給一點背景後，馬上提到關鍵一個決定

記者們解釋背景的篇幅，就只有三段。他們很快就鎖定關鍵的一個 (錯誤) 決定：

The virus’s opening was an ill-fated decision on April 15 to shorten quarantine for airline crew to just three days, as carriers struggled to operate their cargo lines with staff undergoing 14-day isolation periods. Infected pilots introduced a more transmissible U.K. variant, whose spread was then accelerated through a network of “hostess bars” -- places both staff and patrons were reluctant to be associated with, making contact tracing more difficult.

如果他們再花 1-2 段解釋背景，文章就會變得有點無聊，會流失讀者。

所以他們在這裡提到關鍵的失策。

📌 Note：寫作語氣相對正式

這幾位記者，也許是受 Bloomberg 整體風格影響，還算正式。

從哪邊看的出來呢？

The virus's opening was an ill-fated decision...

輕鬆口語化的文章，絕對不會用 "ill-fated" (ill 就是生病/不好嘛，fate 就是命運，所以就是「之後的命運不好」的一個決定。這是一個很不錯的字就是了。

另一個例子，看這句：

Infected pilots introduced a more transmissible U.K. variant, whose spread was then accelerated through a network of “hostess bars” -- places both staff and patrons were reluctant to be associated with, making contact tracing more difficult.

哇噻，尤其 "reluctant to be associated with"，好。。。委婉啊

怎麼樣寫的平易近人一點？

Infected pilots carried a more transmissible U.K. variant, which then spread quickly through a network of "hostess bars". This also made contact tracing harder — because staff and customers didn't want to admit that they worked at or visited these bars.

稍微長一點，但是用的字都比較直白簡單。

★★★★★★★★★★★★

📌 強調嚴重性

這個失策跟破口，有多嚴重的後果？

Taiwan reported 267 new infections Wednesday, bringing the total over the past few days to 1,291 -- a small number in global terms but an astonishing one in a place that, before May 1, had posted just 1,132 cases during the entire pandemic.

The surge from zero to quadruple digits signals that undetected spread has been occurring for months, and concern is now growing that Taiwan will go the way of other cautionary tales, from the outbreak last year in Australia’s Victoria state that took a brutal three-month lockdown to quell, to Thailand’s ongoing surge driven by prison clusters.

"The surge from zero to quadruple"

這邊，寫的非常好，因為雖然不是真正的 rhyme，還是聽起來很近，所以有節奏感。

"Go the way of other cautionary tales" 又是一個文筆很好的寫法，就是「變得跟那些拿來警惕大家的故事一樣」的意思。

但是記得，別在聊天的時候用這些啊，對方會覺得你很奇怪。

這邊他們把最壞的可能性帶進來：就是台灣可能變得跟那些 cautionary tales 一樣。

這邊也讓讀者緊張起來。

但因為他們寫 "concern is now growing..."，又沒有說「誰的 concern」，所以應該要馬上帶具有可信度的 source 進來：

“If they have 300 diagnosed cases, they have 3,000 cases in the community -- they just don’t know it.” said Gregory Poland, a virologist and director of the Mayo Clinic’s Vaccine Research Group. “It’s going to require a hard lockdown, what’s called a circuit-breaker approach, and then getting the vaccine out as quickly as they can.”

這樣就比較有可信度了，也指出一個解決的可能性：lock down，然後疫苗。

但是...

★★★★★★★★★★★★

需要完整分析的同學請留言「看 Bloomberg學資深記者如何寫文章」。

我們每天都在看跟英文溝通/寫作有關的東西，如果想要透過這些「閱讀筆記」跟我們一起看，可在 FB 追蹤我們：https://www.facebook.com/presentality/

★★★★★★★★★★★★

Presentality系列文章:

📌 看貝佐斯致亞馬遜股東的最後一封信，學一些英文寫作小撇步
https://bit.ly/3xCN1cC

📌 英文演講實用的結構與技巧
https://bit.ly/2PHu3Ax

📌 在演講中的四種敘述角度
https://bit.ly/39tNUtv

📌 詩人Amanda Gorman的英文演講技巧
https://bit.ly/39sI3on

📌 從 Most Dangerous Place 文章，看經濟學人寫作邏輯
https://bit.ly/3htqJEs

📌 寫作的終極目標是「提供價值」
https://bit.ly/3yA3gYe

不好意思，系列賽前我也認為快艇會贏，只能說⋯⋯⋯球是圓的🤣🤣🤣

恭喜金塊成為NBA史上第一支，單季兩度1比3落後大逆轉晉級的球隊！👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼

Have to admit I thought Clippers would win this series. All I can say is ball is round⚾️ congrats to Denver Nuggets for being the first team to come back from 1-3 down twice in the same postseason!!!

#WholeNewGame

The way I feel
Melody, Lyrics & Harmonies : Lisa Hui Mixing & Arrangement : Awesome Studio

Lisa's creative mind soul:
When you are not recognized by your lover, but want to attract his attention to you, then you can only show your charm as much as you can.
The 18-years-old Lisa loves to sing, write, and dance. When Lisa wrote this song, she wanted to use a mix of Arabic style and Spanish style, hoping to show her love for her lover through exotic passionate dance music.
Will this song be appreciated by her lover?
Unfortunately, at that time, the lover had fallen in love with another girl, he did not have the responsibility of a man, and dared not to admit the relationship bravely. Also making fun of Lisa’s song for him, saying that Lisa’s lyrics are boring and funny, and do not make sense, and made fun of Lisa with a loud laughter.
In fact, Lisa is full of irony, but Lisa can't let go of that relationship. After all, she has been dating with him for 3 and a half years. Although the separations and combination of emotions made Lisa's heart frustrated as a teenager, true love is what she longs for. Lisa didn't want to give up at all.
Lisa still wrote a lot of love to this lover. From the bottom of her heart, She hope this lover can appreciate it. It's a pity that in the end they were all destined apart from each other.

This is the only English song on Lisa’s album.

The way I feel
作词作曲&和音：许静雯Lisa Hui 编曲混合：Awesome Studio

Lisa 的創作心靈：

當你不被你的愛人認可，卻想要引起他的對你注意力，那就只能盡你所能展示你魅力了吧。
只有18歲的Lisa愛唱歌，寫歌，跳舞，Lisa寫這首歌時候是想運用阿拉伯曲風與西班牙風格組成混合，希望藉着異國風情的熱情舞曲展示出她對愛人的那份熱愛。
這曲寫給她的愛人，他會欣賞嗎？
可惜那時候那位愛人已經愛上了另一位女生，而他卻沒男子漢的擔當，不敢勇敢的承認。還取笑Lisa 為他寫的歌，說Lisa寫的歌詞沒意思而且還很搞笑，哈哈大笑地取笑Lisa。其實對Lisa是滿諷刺的，只是Lisa 放不下那段感情，畢竟那時候已經拍拖3年半，雖然感情上的分分合合，讓Lisa心靈有重重的挫敗感，但Lisa 根本不想放棄。
Lisa還是把滿滿的愛意寫給這位愛人。 打從心底希望愛人能夠欣賞。只可惜最後都是有緣無分。

這也是Lisa 專輯裡面唯一的一首英文歌曲。

Video Lyrics made by toto

youtube: https://youtu.be/opsVQcTWat0
instagram: Lisahui94

The way I feel
作词作曲&和音：许静雯Lisa Hui 编曲混合：Awesome Studio

Lisa 的創作心靈：

當你不被你的愛人認可，卻想要引起他的對你注意力，那就只能盡你所能展示你魅力了吧。
只有18歲的Lisa愛唱歌，寫歌，跳舞，Lisa寫這首歌時候是想運用阿拉伯曲風與西班牙風格組成混合，希望藉着異國風情的熱情舞曲展示出她對愛人的那份熱愛。
這曲寫給她的愛人，他會欣賞嗎？
可惜那時候那位愛人已經愛上了另一位女生，而他卻沒男子漢的擔當，不敢勇敢的承認。還取笑Lisa 為他寫的歌，說Lisa寫的歌詞沒意思而且還很搞笑，哈哈大笑地取笑Lisa。其實對Lisa是滿諷刺的，只是Lisa 放不下那段感情，畢竟那時候已經拍拖3年半，雖然感情上的分分合合，讓Lisa心靈有重重的挫敗感，但Lisa 根本不想放棄。
Lisa還是把滿滿的愛意寫給這位愛人。 打從心底希望愛人能夠欣賞。只可惜最後都是有緣無分。

這也是Lisa 專輯裡面唯一的一首英文歌曲。



The way I feel
Melody, Lyrics & Harmonies : Lisa Hui Mixing & Arrangement : Awesome Studio

Lisa's creative mind soul:
When you are not recognized by your lover, but want to attract his attention to you, then you can only show your charm as much as you can.
The 18-years-old Lisa loves to sing, write, and dance. When Lisa wrote this song, she wanted to use a mix of Arabic style and Spanish style, hoping to show her love for her lover through exotic passionate dance music.
Will this song be written to her lover?
Unfortunately, at that time, the lover had fallen in love with another girl, he did not have the responsibility of a man, and dared not to admit the relationship bravely. Also making fun of Lisa’s song for him, saying that Lisa’s lyrics are boring and funny, and do not make sense, and made fun of Lisa with a loud laughter.
In fact, Lisa is full of irony, but Lisa can't let go of that relationship. After all, she has been dating with him for 3 and a half years. Although the separations and combination of emotions made Lisa's heart frustrated as a teenager, true love is what she longs for. Lisa didn't want to give up at all.
Lisa still wrote a lot of love to this lover. From the bottom of her heart, She hope this lover can appreciate it. It's a pity that in the end they were all destined apart from each other.

This is the only English song on Lisa’s album.

#記得打開CC字幕
你真的懂每一句的意思嗎？
很多人都聽過《掉了》，也知道這首歌跟阿妹父親離世的故事有關
不過青峰寫的美麗歌詞，你真的都聽懂了嗎？
讓我們一起翻譯及解析阿密特的經典歌曲《掉了》吧！

按訂閱 小鈴鐺 讓你英文響叮噹🔔

❤️💛💚💙💜

Facebook 讓你下載單字卡：https://www.facebook.com/bingobilingual/
Instagram 讓你看 Bingo 私生活：https://instagram.com/bingobilingual_bb/

➡️ 金曲譯者的其他影片：

艾怡良的隱藏金曲 | 帶你解析《夜晚出生的小孩》
https://youtu.be/b5byk-jAx6U

出國遊行必唱！張惠妹 彩虹 cover 用英文唱 | 賓狗單字
https://youtu.be/mb-hm6c6M8w

《玫瑰少年 Womxnly》蔡依林 | 歌詞解析及翻譯
https://youtu.be/lGG_BBFNsf0

❤️💛💚💙💜

中英歌詞：
掉了 Disappear

心疼的玫瑰 半夜還開著
A heartbroken rose is still awake late at night

找不到匆匆掉落的花蕊
The flower core is suddenly gone

回到現場 卻已來不及
I couldn’t arrive at the scene in time

等待任何回音都不可得
I can no longer hear from you


微弱的風箏 冬天裡飄著
Like a feeble kite flying in the winter sky

回不去手中纏線的那個
Can't trace back to the man who once held the line

沒有藍天 又何必去飛
Without the blue sky, what’s the point of flying high?

怎麼適合
How can I adjust?

黑色笑靨掉了
The black smile has disappeared

雪白眼淚掉了
The white tears have disappeared

該出現的所有表情瞬間掉了
All facial expressions have disappeared

瞳孔沒有顏色
Can’t perceive any color

結了冰的長河
Time has become a frozen river

回憶是最可怕的敵人
Memories cause the greatest hurt

故事情節掉了
The plot of the story has disappeared

主角對白掉了
The protagonists’ lines have disappeared


該屬於劇中的對角戲也掉了
The scenes where characters interact have also disappeared

胸口沒有快樂
Can’t feel joy in my chest anymore

斷了翅的白鴿
Like a white pigeon with broken wings

不枯萎的藉口全掉了
All the excuses resounding in my head don’t matter anymore

曾經唱過的歌
The songs we sang together

分享過的笑聲
Our shared laughter

在心中不斷拉扯
These memories are both sweet and bitter


想念不能承認
Can’t admit that I miss you

偷偷擦去淚痕
Discreetly clean my tear marks

冬天過了還是會很冷
The cold will still be bitter when this winter’s over