【一切的失敗和不足，都是最美好的安排】
All Failures & Lacks Are The Best Things to Happen to Us

三個月前，收到來自台灣客人的這封電郵時，開心和心酸交織著在心裡。

開心，因為這是一年前通過Zoom視訊的客人。他居然在我們看八字的一週年，特地寫了封感謝函給我，真有心！

心酸，因為他寫在電郵裡的低落心情，我完完全全明白。

他的經歷，是我的曾經。我當初也是很難，很久才能走出來。

有一回，我為一位芳華正茂的女子批八字時，她很用心的寫下我說的話。

論寫筆記的完整，她是我客人當中的佼佼者。

寫到一半，我注意到她的右手開始微微顫抖。我以為是空調的風太大了，冷到她，便問她要不要披巾。

她說，是她的焦慮症發作。

「我沒在兇你，也沒對你嚴厲，你為何突然焦慮？」

「我.....打從今年疫情打亂了我的計畫，我就一直很焦慮。我覺得我很沒用，同學們都前進了，只有我現在什麼都不是，亂糟糟的。我就一直很緊張，萬一我一直都是這樣，怎麼辦？」

說著，她眼眶一紅，眼淚像斷了線的珍珠鏈似的灑下來。

我的媽呀！是我的樣子長得很催淚，還是我的聲音聽起來很虐心？怎麼客人，不分男女老少，東南西北，看到我好像都很容易哭？

我抓起一張紙巾遞給她。

「所以，我不是來了嗎？你來找我，就是要問個明路，而你很幸運那麼快就看到我啦！你看你的筆記寫得多工整，多齊全。我很多客人都不如你啊！我今天的工作，就是來給你答案的。我沒有把握，也不會接你這份差事。我接了，就代表還可以補救。你照著我的指示去做，一定柳暗花明又一村。」

又另一回，一位四十多歲的媽媽請我看兒子的八字。

我在批著八字時，這位媽媽點頭認同，然後就聲淚俱下。

我轉頭看著她沈默不語的先生。我說錯了什麼嗎？太太哭成淚人，你怎麼連紙巾也不拿給她啊？

「我是個沒有用的母親，很不稱職的母親。我沒有辦法教好孩子。我很愛他，可是很多時候我都不知道要怎麼做，我就會對他發脾氣，說狠話，過後我又後悔。我忍下來，可是後來還是會一樣！」

我沒打斷她，等她的哭聲逐漸小聲後，我柔柔的說：「我來啦！我坐在你前面了。你已經看到我，就是有辦法了。你知道你自己不行，會去找辦法，就代表你願意去學習做個好媽媽啊！」

我把紙巾遞給她，再說：「不要哭了，要不然，別人看了以為是我不要借你錢，才把你弄得那麼傷心。」

曾幾何時，我們都會以外在所擁有的，來定義自己的人生是否值得自己喜歡。

從原生家庭、樣貌、健康、身型、智力、天賦等，到後來的學歷、友情、事業、財富、婚姻、子女......

哪一樣沒有，而偏偏是我們最想要的，我們就會認定自己失敗的一塌糊塗。

我認為這就是普通教育最大的問題所在。父母老師都是這樣把我們「分門別類」的。值不值得父母疼愛或向親朋戚友炫耀，也離不開那幾點。

久而久之，我們也只會以「成功」來定義自己是否有價值，甚至來衡量自己是否有活下去的勇氣。

我比較喜歡佛法的定義。我們每個人都是一尊佛，六道眾生皆有佛性，只因一時的迷，因此墮落在苦輪不停的輪迴。

可正因為我們有佛性，我們都有無窮無盡的可能。每個人的內在有著很強大的力量，等著我們遇到明師後，去發掘、探索和了解。

而這天生俱來的力量，就是你改命立命的資本。

如果人生順風順水，我們永遠不會想要出離，誤把人間當極樂，所以一定要有苦，我們才會意識到，為什麼我們會在這鬼地方？要怎麼樣才可以離開這鬼地方去到極樂？

反過來，我們都應該感恩自己遇到的挫折，因為從這些苦中，我們才能生出智慧。

沒有一個八字是完美的。一切的失敗和不足，都是最美好的安排，如此你才會有出離心，返本歸源。

_______________________

3 months ago, when I received this email from my Taiwan client, there was this feeling of bittersweetness.

I was happy because this was the client I did a Zoom consultation last June. He sent me this email on the one-year anniversary date of our Zoom call, to express his gratitude. How sweet!

On the other hand, I could relate to the emotional turmoil he felt at that point in his life.

His experience was my past. It also took me a very long time to walk out from my gloominess.

Once, I analysed the Bazi of a very young lady. She was meticulously jotting down notes as I spoke.

Her detailed note-taking skills easily took the top place among my clients.

Halfway through, I noticed her right hand was trembling slightly. I thought it was due to the cold draft from the air conditioning, so I asked if she needed a shawl.

She replied that it was her anxiety disorder acting up.

“I was not fierce or strict with you. What caused your sudden anxiety?”

“I…ever since the pandemic disrupted my plans, I have been in this state of anxiety. I kept feeling useless. All my classmates are progressing expect me. I have nothing to show for and my life is in a mess. I am very anxious. What if I continue to be like this? What am I going to do?”

As she spoke, her eyes turned red and tears started rolling down like a broken strand of pearl necklace scattering onto the ground.

Oh dear! I am beginning to wonder if I have a tear-jerker face or a heart-tormenting voice. Why do my clients, regardless of gender and age, North South or East West, seem to cry easily when they see me?

I grabbed a piece of tissue and handed it to her.

“Ain’t I here already? You came to me for a roadmap and you are very lucky to see me so soon. Look at how precise and neat your notes are! Many of my clients aren’t even on par with you. My job today is to give you answers. If I didn’t have the confidence, I would not have taken up your request. Now that I did, that means there is still hope. If you follow my instructions, you will see things looking up very soon.”

On another occasion, a mother in her forties came to me for her son’s Bazi consultation.

As I was analysing, the mother nodded her head in agreement. The next thing I know, she started weeping loudly.

I turned to look at her husband, who had been silent all along. Did I say something wrong? And hello, your wife was crying. Why weren’t you gentleman enough to give her a tissue paper?

“I am a useless mother. I am incompetent. I do not know how to teach my son well. I love my son very much. But many times, I do not know what to do and thus I flare up at him and speak harshly. I always regret afterwards. I tried enduring but it still ends badly!”

I did not interrupt her and waited for her cries to soften, before speaking gently, “I’m here! I’m already sitting in front of you. You are looking at me now and that means help is here. You know that you are incompetent, so you went looking for solutions. That means you are willing to learn how to be a better mother!”

I handed a piece of tissue and said, “Don’t cry anymore, otherwise, other patrons will think that it’s because I refuse to lend you money.”

Since young, we have been using external possessions to define whether our lives are worth liking.

The family we are born into, our looks, health, body shape, intellect, talents, and then we move on to compare our academics, friendships, career, wealth, marriage and children.

If we are lacking in the area we covet most, we grade our lives as a failure.

I think this is the biggest problem in societal education. Our parents and teachers categorized us that way. Whether we as children are worthy of their love and bragging, depends on the few points above too.

Thus over time, we can only use the term “success” to determine whether we are of value, for some people, whether they should live on to take their next breath.

I very much prefer the definition in Buddhism. We are all Buddhas. Each and every sentient being in the six realms has a Buddha nature in them. But they got lost momentarily and fell into the endless wheel of reincarnation.

Yet, because of our Buddha nature, we have an unlimited source of potential. Every one of us has a very powerful strength inside us. It is just waiting for us to meet an accomplished teacher, so that we have the tools to explore and understand it:

And this strength that we are born with is the capital for us to transform and establish our own destiny.

If life is smooth-sailing, we would never want to leave and would mistake this mortal realm for Pureland. Thus, we all need sufferings, to realise that we should break out of this hell of a place. There has to be a better world somewhere. So how we get there?

We should, in fact, be grateful for all the setbacks and failures we have. Because it is from these sufferings, our wisdom arise:

No single Bazi is perfect. Every failure and lack we experience is the best arrangement for us, so that the heart of renunciation will arise in us and we will return to where we came from.

【被男客人逗笑記】
MY HUMOUROUS MALE CLIENTS

不知是不是物以類聚，人以群分的關係，原來我的客人也蠻幽默的。

事件一：

男客人：「老師！哇，你真人的臉比較小，在螢幕上看你的臉是比較大的！」

我抬頭看著男客人。

「你今天來，是幫我看相的嗎？」

•

事件二：

我：「X先生，之前我這樣對你，是因為⋯⋯」

男客人一臉殷勤的說：「沒事，師父！你不用解釋，我都明白！我見過很多高人，高人高人一等，所以性格上都是有點奇怪，有些怪癖的！」

欸，不對，這是對我的讚譽嗎？怎麼聽起來怪怪的？🤨

•

事件三：

我站在餐廳外，等老公結帳。

突然，一把聲音：「李老師！」

我轉過頭，欸，一家大小，是不熟悉的臉孔，應該是影片的觀眾吧！

帶著口罩都能被認出，對方真是好眼力。

我立刻現出「空姐式的微笑」，並打招呼。#反應快

男士告訴我，他很想請我到他家看風水。我點頭說，可以等報名表開放時報名。

之後⋯⋯

他眼睛就一直盯著我的雙眸看，再三的問：

「老師，你⋯⋯看得到，對嗎？」

我心裡的OS：我今天戴著隱形眼鏡，看你們一家人的樣子很清楚。我們第一次見面，我沒有認錯，我視力沒問題啊～

所以我很自然的點頭：「看到啊！」

男士保持著禮貌的距離，頭繼續往前，目不轉睛的研究著我的眼睛，喃喃自語：「我看老師的眼睛，是看得到的。」

然後，彷彿得到答案後，男士臉上才露出滿意的笑容。

看著他的表情，心裡覺得有點莫名其妙。

我只是因為以前用錯眼霜，眼袋那裡長了很多油泡而已，眼睛沒什麼問題啊～

告別後，我站在電動扶梯上，腦袋好像被五雷轟頂似後，我才猛然驚覺⋯⋯🤯

原來他剛才是在問，我到底是不是開了天眼，能否看到無形的朋友！

————————————————

I wonder whether it’s because of the theory “Birds of the same feather flock together”. I realise a number of my clients do have a funny bone in them.

Incident 1:

Male client, “Wow, Teacher! Your face in person is smaller! Your face look bigger on screen!”

I raised my head to look at him.

Me, “Are you here today to do face reading for me?”

•

Incident 2:

Me, “Mr X, I treated you that way earlier on, because ⋯”

Male client earnestly chirped, “No worries, Master! You don’t have to explain. I totally understand. I have met many expert masters. Being superior experts, they are all eccentric in their own ways and all have some quirks!”

Erm, is this a compliment for me? Why does it sound weird somehow? 🤨

•

Incident 3:

I was waiting outside the restaurant for the husband to settle the bill.

Out of the blue, I heard a voice, “Teacher Lee!”

I turned my head around and saw a family of unfamiliar faces. They must be viewers of my videos, I thought.

I was mildly surprised to be recognized with my mask on. They sure have good eyesight.

I flashed my signature SQ smile at them and greeted them. #quickreaction

The man of the family told me that he wished to invite me to his home for a Feng Shui audit. I nodded my head and told him to register when my forms opened.

And then…

His eyes fixated on mine, and asked repeatedly,

“Teacher, you…can see, right?”

The OS inside my mind started racing. I was wearing contact lenses and I had no problem seeing your faces. I was pretty sure that today was our first time meeting. There was no issue with my eyes.

So I naturally nodded my head and replied, “Yes, I can see!”

He kept a polite distance but his head inched forward a teeny bit, with his eyes relentlessly exploring mine.

He then mumbled, “I see that Teacher’s eyes are able to see.”

His face began to smile, as if his exploration had gotten him a satisfactory answer.

Looking at his expression, I felt baffled.

I only had many milia seeds under my eyes due to using the wrong eye cream in my youth, but apart from that, my eyes are perfectly fine.

After bidding farewell, as I took the escalator, my brain lit up as if it was struck by the five thunders.

I suddenly realised…

The male viewer was asking if I had the clairvoyant eye and could see the invisible!

Chef Maxime also improvises the commonly practiced croûte de sel (French salt-baking) technique into “sugar-baking”. The approach is more or less the same but he replaces sea salt with brown sugar. As such, the quail absorbs the natural sweetness of brown sugar. How genius! He pairs the quail with Daikoku Honshimeji mushroom, pistachio quail jus and rocket puree. The sweet nuttiness of the pistachio in the rich quail jus responds well with the quail infused with sugar-baked aroma; not only does the spiciness of the ocket puree complement the pistachio and sliced mushroom, it acts to balance the rich quail jus also.    
 
It’s a bit tiring to savor Chef Maxime’s dishes because of their high complexity, both in terms of construction and technique. It’s an exciting journey nevertheless discovering surprise after surprise at each tongue-tingling mouthful.  I told Chef Maxime: “If I were to compare your creations to sex, then you have so many tricks and it never gets dull!” He giggled and nodded in agreement: “Cooking is like making love, there must be ups and downs, twists and turns. When you’re the zone then the sex will be unforgettable.”

法菜中常見「鹽焗」（croûte de sel）烹調方式，又讓Chef Maxime緊緊捉住概念轉化成「糖焗」！大同小異的做法，只是把粗鹽換成黃糖，這麼一來，乳鴿吸收的不是鹹香，而是黃糖的自然甜香！是不是很天才？配菜是大黑本菇、開心果鴿汁、芝麻菜菜蓉——濃郁的鴿汁裡頭必須有開心果的堅果甜香來回應鴿身吸收的糖焗香氣，還要加上一點芝麻菜的菜蓉來跟開心果、菇片有個交流，以芝麻菜的獨特辛香讓本菇的植物性umami不至於太寡，同時中和鴿汁的濃郁。

Chef Maxime的菜，是會吃得有點累的菜式，因為菜品結構間的線索頗多，技術含量相對也高，每一道都有在他想像遊走間的起承轉合，在舌尖營造一閃一閃的驚喜。我跟Chef Maxime說：「如果把你的菜比喻為性愛，你的性愛是永不沈悶的招數！」他聽了邊大笑邊點頭認同；「做菜就跟做愛一樣，要有高低起伏，要有起承轉合，要令人不知生死，最後回味無窮！」

@mximeagilbert @ecriturehk @theforksandspoons852 @michelinguide @theworlds50best

#maximegilbert #ecriturehongkong #ecriture #michelinstar #michelinstarchef #asias50best #agnescheefoodcolumn #agnescheefoodcritic #hongkongfinedining #frenchfinedining #croutedesel #croutedusucre #quail #quaillover #foodandsex #foodcriticschoice #agnescheefoodcritic

Dikembe Mutombo looked as if he'd been playing with the Philadelphia 76ers for years instead of hours.

Mutombo had 17 points, 13 rebounds and five blocked shots in his debut with Philadelphia as the 76ers beat the Detroit Pistons 99-78 Friday night.
"He changed the whole game with his defense and rebounding," said Philadelphia's Allen Iverson, who had 43 points and 10 rebounds.
Mutombo was traded along with Roshown McLeod from Atlanta to Philadelphia on Thursday for Theo Ratliff, Nazr Mohammed and Pepe Sanchez in the most-significant deal of the NBA season.
After the game, Mutombo looked relieved to be sitting in a folding chair with ice packs surrounding both knees.
He flew from Atlanta to Philadelphia late Thursday night, had a physical at 7 a.m., then arrived in Detroit at about 5 p.m. Friday.
"I need some sleep," Mutombo said. "But really, I'm so excited to be with this group of guys. They're all about winning and we have a great coach."
Philadelphia coach Larry Brown was glad that Mutombo was able to provide a lot of the same things as Ratliff.
"He rebounded and defended like he has his whole career," Brown said. "I thought he was terrific ... I think it's pretty remarkable what he was able to do under those circumstances."
Philadelphia has the best record in the NBA at 42-14. The Sixers extended their winning streak to six games.
Detroit's Jerry Stackhouse scored 22 points. Chucky Atkins had 12 points and Dana Barros added 10. The Pistons made just 37.1 percent of their shots.
Mutombo's status for the game was much more in doubt than the outcome.
The Sixers jumped out to a 16-4 lead and cruised to the win. Philadelphia led by nine points after one quarter, 12 at halftime and 17 after three quarters.
Philadelphia did not know whether Mutombo would be cleared to play until an hour before the game.
Minutes after Philadelphia Brown was informed that Mutombo was able to play, Mutombo walked into Philadelphia's locker room.
When Brown told Mutombo that he could play, the nine-year veteran asked "What do you want me to do?"
Brown left the decision whether or not to play up to Mutombo. He nodded his head to indicate that he wanted to play, and then turned to look for a uniform and basketball shoes to replace his brown suit and dress shoes.
On defense, Mutombo, the three-time defensive player of the year, hung around the lane to block and alter shots.
He ignited Philadelphia's fastbreak with 10 defensive rebounds and crisp outlet passes. There were times that Iverson was so far down the court that Mutombo didn't make it to halfcourt.
On offense, he set space-creating screens with his 7-foot-2, 265-pound frame. When Mutombo got the ball, his sky hooks and deliberate low-post moves gave the Sixers an option on the interior.
Mutombo started and played 36 minutes. He made 7-of-12 shots and 3-of-4 free throws.
"There is not much difference between the Sixers with Theo Ratliff and with Mutombo," said Detroit's Ben Wallace, who had 17 rebounds. "They both clog the middle and block a lot of shots. Theo is a little more athletic and Mutombo is a little bigger."
The game also marked the debut of Detroit's Corliss Williamson, who scored six points and grabbed four rebounds.
Williamson was traded by Toronto along with Kornell David, Tyrone Corbin and a conditional first-round pick to Detroit for Jerome Williams and Eric Montross. Detroit released Corbin and put David on the injured list.
"It was unfair to play him, but once Ben (Wallace) got those two quick fouls, I didn't have much choice," Detroit's George Irvine said. "It's been a whirlwind for him, but he'll be fine. He did a nice job out there."

It was last night's best bet on Broadway -- Allen Iverson of Georgetown against Stephon Marbury of Georgia Tech. The scene was Madison Square Garden. The occasion was a semifinal game in the 11th annual Preseason National Invitation Tournament.

The war between the precocious college basketball stars was more or less a draw. Iverson had the better numbers, but he also had a better team behind him. A noisy and appreciative crowd of 15,249 watched Iverson and Georgetown pull away in the second half to a 94-72 victory. That was no surprise because the Hoyas are ranked fifth and Georgia Tech 25th in the latest Associated Press poll.

The triumph sent Georgetown into tomorrow night's final against Arizona. In the first game of the semifinal doubleheader, Arizona held off Michigan, 86-79.

With little more than three minutes left in the game, Georgetown got a scare when Iverson jammed his left thumb. He left and did not return, but later, in the locker room, Iverson said the thumb was fine and he would be ready for the final. Still, as a precaution, he was taken to a hospital for X-rays.

Iverson shot 9 for 16 from the floor, 1 for 6 from the 3-point line. He finished with 23 points, 6 assists and 2 steals. Marbury (4 for 14, 0 for 4 on 3-pointers) ended with 13 points, 8 assists and 7 steals.

Before they are nominated for the Hall of Fame, it should be pointed out that Iverson made eight turnovers and Marbury six. But as point guards, they handle the ball more than others, and it also should be remembered that Iverson is a 19-year-old sophomore, Marbury an 18-year-old freshman.

Here are their assessments of the game:

Iverson on Iverson: "I think I played all right. But I made a lot of mistakes."

Iverson on Marbury: "He's a great player, but he's a freshman. He's got a lot to learn, just as I've got a lot to learn. He'll get better."

Marbury on Marbury: "I think I did a pretty good job. But I don't think I'm playing my normal game. I'm not shooting well."

Marbury on Iverson: "You can only try to contain him. He'll get his points, regardless."

Marbury was the more spectacular player. The Coney Island youngster played with the peripheral vision and magic of a Magic Johnson or Isiah Thomas. Once, on the run, he bounced a perfect long pass to a teammate sandwiched between two defenders. Several times, he drove to the basket and jumped and, when a defender would double-team him, he dished off the ball to an open teammate.

But Marbury did not have the help that Iverson did. Victor Page, Georgetown's freshman shooting guard, was the high scorer with 25 points. Othella Harrington, the 6-foot-9-inch senior center, was held to 2 points in the first half but finished with 14 points and 14 rebounds. Georgetown's bang-the-boards defense outrebounded Georgia Tech, 45 to 24.

John Thompson, in his 24th year as Georgetown coach, likes his team. "They've got a lot to learn," he said, "but it's a team I can drive. You don't drive people who aren't talented."

Georgia Tech Coach Bobby Cremins said he knew why his team was beaten badly.

"I think it was too much, too soon," he said. "We were not ready for that type of game. We're young, we hung in there, but it's tough on a young team."

The first semifinal matched Arizona's speed, defense and experience against Michigan's youth and bulk. Arizona broke open a tie game in the last 13 minutes.

The Wildcats, ranked No. 19, made fewer errors than 16th-ranked Michigan. Much of the time, it kept the ball from Michigan's post players and forced the Wolverines into bad shots from the outside. When Michigan closed to 79-77, Arizona tried to freeze the ball, Michigan double-teamed it and Joseph Blair, the Arizona center, got loose under the basket and sank the game-clinching field goal and free throw.

"Their post players beat us to death," Michigan Coach Steve Fisher said. "It seems like every shot they made in the second half was a result of our defense. But eight of our players are freshmen and sophomores, and you know it's going to happen some. I'm mad. I told our team they should be mad we didn't play better. You can't be afraid to make mistakes. Maybe I made them afraid to make mistakes."

Coach Lute Olson was pleased with the way his Arizona team played.

"The difference down the stretch," he said, "was probably that we had a lot more experience. But the only way to get experience is playing. You have to go through it with game pressure."

Reggie Geary, Arizona's point guard, scored only 8 points but also had 7 assists and 2 steals. Once, trying to keep a ball inbounds, he crashed into the press table and knocked over a telephone. He picked up the phone and put the receiver to his ear. It worked. He nodded and went back to business.

男主角帶著女主角去挑婚紗，把家裡留給了朋友，回到家發現.....

男主角：「不放手，直到婉蒨到手！」超感人求婚影片、超用心求婚誓詞，不點頭不是人！

真誠，才能打動人心。

LiAnne牽手日記：https://www.facebook.com/LiAnne416/