【天青色等煙雨，而我在等你】(English writing below)

我看著客人眼淚
滴滴答答的打在桌面上
筆記本
濕了
本子上的字
糊了

她的心酸
猶如洪泉遇到崩裂的堤壩
一波一浪的破牆而出

一個被愛情辜負的女子
看了真是心疼

我不由自覺的
想到了自己

你懂我的
像我這樣剛烈的女子
爲了愛情
我絕不退縮
祇是一個勇字
又豈能成事呢

童年
過得心驚膽顫
家裡常吵得
雞犬不寧

爸爸沒想要
把我生下
媽媽常說
要把我趕出去

我很努力讀書
我很努力做個乖孩子
我覺得我做得很好
人小小本事很大
但這些終究無法
讓我在美滿的家庭長大

多少個夜晚裡
我被媽媽打得
想奪門而出
永不再見
可是想到誰來照顧她
我又忍下來

我很恨
為何我命運不如人

第一次談戀愛時
我是多麼多麼的雀躍
內心裡的煙花
不斷地爆開
我終於等到了
不再是
沒人要的孩子了

我終於
值得有人愛了

初戀的絢麗
卻也如七彩美麗的煙花
一聲巨響後
就消失在漆黑的夜裡

他常常在我面前
提到他如何深愛著
他中學時的校花
她是如此的美好

有一次
這校花來我們的學校
他得知後
破課室的門而出
沒見到她
他哭了一整個星期

心中的不安
讓我常常與他吵架
三年零八個月裡
我不是一個好女友
服滿兵役後
他喜歡上大學迎新會
的一位混血兒

後來
我和一位校友打了幾次桌球
某夜
他在ICQ向我索吻
對他的印象
就一落千丈了
（你以為老娘在賤賣嗎？）
不久一位朋友告訴我
他約會的對象
不只我一個

我有一位
很好很好的朋友
我在新加坡時
他常陪我
深夜打桌球到清晨
聊佛法聊人生
一起上佛學班
一起學國標舞
從未有一個人
如此瞭解我的心
如此照顧著我

但無所不談的當兒
他也不斷告訴
這麼多年來
他如何愛念著
一個女孩
對她始終無法忘懷

我又輸給
活在記憶中的人了

我這一份單戀
長達兩年
很磨人很磨人很磨人
差一點走不出來

第二次談戀愛
他常在我面前提起
一個他追了半年追不到的女孩
他說
有一天一定要去問她
為什麼不選擇他

在家裡的毒打
並沒有隨著我成人
而停止

後來拜師學藝
卻因爲品德不良
被師父一句
「你不是我要找的人。」
斷然吃了閉門羹

那天我哭得痛徹心扉
覺得自己
好像是
個沒人要的孩子

方文山因爲
八百年前
宋徽宗皇帝御批的這句
「雨過天青雲破處」
而在周傑倫《青花瓷》裡
寫了『天青色等煙雨，而我在等你』

他說
愛情里最無力的無奈
就是「等待」
天青色得等待
不知何時會降的雨
雨停
積雲散去
朗朗晴空中
天青色才能顯現
如同我
只能被动而安静的
等待着
不知何时才会出现的妳。

慢慢的
我開始認為
我這輩子等不到了
月老應該沒幫我
綁上紅線

學佛多年後
忽然恍然大悟
一個道理
没有东西是必须拥有的
沒有它
也不代表自己的不足

愛情
是一個填不滿的慾望
所以愛情劇長紅

在2015年2月21日年初三，根本上師蓮生活佛在台灣中天綜合電視台的訪談中說：https://youtu.be/EPDxwSt6a5I （時間12:08）

「師尊本身的愛是這樣的。我既然愛她，就是要她幸福，不是要佔有她，這種愛不是佔有，其實愛不是佔有。如果愛是佔有的話，那就是屬於慾望。如果愛不是佔有，我是祝福她，雖然我愛她，她不愛我，她愛別人，我就祝福她。如果愛別人會比較幸福，我就祝福她。這種愛就不是佔有的愛。如果是佔有的愛，一定會產生痛苦。」

原來我真正在等的
是自己
自己的智慧開了
心變闊達時
才不會讓他人決定
自己幾時可以幸福
可以幸福多久
命運在我手中
怎麼走本來就是我說了算

我輕輕的拿起桌上的紙巾，遞給女客人。她一把鼻涕，一把眼淚的向我道謝。

借了師父慣用的笑話，我柔聲細語的說：「別哭，新加坡缺水，要哭要到蓄水池哭，這樣我們可以少看馬來西亞的臉色做人。」

她破涕而笑。

我再說：「我看了妳的八字，現在又看到妳真人，勸你跟我講話老實一點，要不然我幫不到妳。妳明明一直做人家的小三，還敢跟我哭沒有男人要和妳結婚？妳不也偷偷拿了他不少錢嗎？我看妳明明就是一張愛錢的臉。」

奉勸各位大俠，在我面前，若要用眼淚爲武器，請三思，因爲虛偽的，我必定拆你面具。

..........................

I looked at the teardrops of my client, pitter patter onto the table top. My client's notebook got wet. The words got muddled.

All the pains in her heart were like the angry river crushing through a broken dam, tearing down the walls as the tears flowed.

To see a lady being let down by love was indeed heart-breaking.

I couldn't help but thought of myself.

You know me. An unyielding character like mine will not shrink like a coward in the name of love. Alas, there are things in life that can't be accomplished solely with courage.

My childhood was filled with a lot of fear. There were often quarrels at home.

My dad didn't want me to be born. My mum often said she wanted to chase me out of the house.

I studied very hard. I did my utmost to be an obedient kid, and I thought I did very well as young child but I was already very capable. However, all these were not enough for me to grow up in a complete family.

So many nights, I got beaten up so badly by my mum that I wanted to just break out of the door and never to see her again. But the mere thought of nobody looking after her pulled me back.

I hated so much. Why wasn't my destiny comparable to other people?

When I first fell in love, I was so elated. The fireworks in my heart exploded non-stop. I finally found someone. I was no longer that child which nobody wanted. I was finally worthy of someone's love.

The splendour of first love, however, was as temporal as the rainbow-coloured fireworks. After a loud explosion, it vanished into the darkness of night.

He would often tell me in my face, how much he pined for and loved his secondary school crush, apparently the prettiest and most perfect girl in school.

Once, this campus belle came to our school. When he got wind of the news, he dashed out of the classroom. Failing to see her, he cried for one whole week.

My insecurity caused me to quarrel with him often. In those 3 years and 8 months, I wasn't a great girlfriend. After his NS, he got together with a girl of mixed blood at his university's Orientation camp.

I played pool with a uni mate a few times. One night over ICQ, he teased me for a kiss. My impression of him dropped like hot cakes. Did I look like I was lelong-ing myself? Later, a girl pal told me that he was dating several girls at the same time.

I had a very good friend. Whenever I was in Singapore, he would accompany me to play pool till wee hours. We talked about Dharma, life, and we attended Buddhism and ballroom dancing classes together. I had never met a person who understood me and took care of me so well.

But among our endless conversations of everything and anything, he always told me how he still loved a girl from his school. He couldn't forget her.

Again, I lost to someone who lived in the memory of the guy I liked.

This one-sided love of mine burned for two years. It was very, very, very excruciating. I almost didn't make it out alive.

In my second relationship, the boyfriend would always tell me about a pretty girl whom he pursued for half a year, but failed to win her heart. He told me firmly that if he had the chance, he wanted to ask her why she did not choose him.

The abusive beating at home did not stop even after I grew up.

Later on, when I wanted to become Shifu's disciple, he turned me down flat because he didn't think I had good morals and values. He was blunt, "You are not the person I am looking for."

That night, I cried painfully hard. Suddenly, I felt like I was the kid from my childhood whom nobody wanted.

800 years ago, Emperor Huizong of Song Dynasty wrote in an imperial decree "雨過天青雲破處". It was this that inspired Vincent Fang (方文山) to write the lyrics 『天青色等煙雨，而我在等你』in Jay Chou's song 青花瓷 (Blue and white porcelain).

Vincent Fang said, the most powerless kind of helplessness in love was waiting.

The sky green colour had to wait for the rain, which it had no idea when it would arrive. After the rain stopped, the thick clouds dissipated, in the clear skies, the sky green colour would then be able to appear. This was just like how he could only passively and quietly wait, for his lady whom he had no idea when she would appear.

Gradually, I started thinking that in this lifetime, I would not be able to wait for that person to appear. Perhaps Yue Lao (the elderly celestial under the moon) did not tie the red string on me.

After many years of learning the Dharma, one day, I suddenly came to the realisation that nothing is a must to own.

Secular love is a black hole of desires. That is why romantic shows are evergreen.

On 21 February 2015, the 3rd day of the Lunar New Year, my Root Guru Living Buddha Lian-Sheng spoke in an interview with the Taiwan CTI Television Inc.: https://youtu.be/EPDxwSt6a5I （timestamp 12:08）

"My personal take on love is this. Since I love her, I will want her to be blissful, and not to possess her. Such love isn't possession. Actually love isn't possession. If love is possession, that belongs to desire. If love isn't desire, I will wish her well. Although I love her, she doesn't love me, but loves another person, so I will give her my best wishes. If loving another person brings her more happiness, I will wish her well. Such love isn't possessive love. If it is possessive love, there will surely be pain."

Then I realised, the one that I had been waiting all along for is myself. Waiting for my wisdom to develop, waiting for my heart to be more open, so that I would not place my happiness in the hands of another person, and let the person decide for me when I should be happy, for how long I can stay happy...

My destiny is in my hands. How it pans out is up to me to say.

I gently picked up a serviette from the table and passed it to my lady client. In a mush of mucus and tears, she thanked me.

Borrowing an old joke from Shifu, I gently told her, "Don't cry. Singapore lacks water. If you want to cry, you should cry at a nearby reservoir. This way, we don't have to see the colours of Malaysia in order to get more water."

She broke into a smile among her tears.

I continued, "After looking at your Bazi, and now that I have seen you in person, I advise you to be more honest with me, or else I will not be able to help you. You have all along been a mistress to other men, and you dare to come crying to me that no man wanted to marry you? Didn't you also stole some money from them? The way I see you, you obviously have a money grubber face."

My advice to all swordsmen: If you wish to use your tears as a weapon in front of me, think thrice. Because if you are a hypocrite, I will definitely rip your mask apart.

cautious/conscientious/fastidious/meticulous/scrupulous 謹慎的、一絲不苟的
Eg. Jason is very conscientious in doing his work, so his teammates have confidence in him.
Jason對於工作非常謹慎，組員們都很信任他。
.
inattentive/negligent/lax/sloppy 草率的、不專注的 (a.)
Eg. Lakers lost this game due to some players’ sloppy passes.
湖人因為一些球員草率的傳球而輸掉這場比賽。
.
ambiguous/equivocal/obscure/opaque 模糊的、模稜兩可的、不明確的 (a.)
Eg. Amy's reply to her teacher's questions was somewhat ambiguous.
Amy對老師提問的回答有點模糊不清。
.
confused/bewildered/baffled/befuddled/muddled/flustered 困惑的、慌張的、心煩意亂的 (a.)
Eg. My befuddled brain cannot remember any vocabulary.
我迷糊的腦袋記不下任何單字了。
.
universal/ubiquitous/omnipresent/pervasive/rife 到處遍在的、遍及各處的、無所不在的 (a.)
Eg. The influence of commercialism is pervasive in Daniel's books.
資本主義的影響在Daniel的作品中隨處可見。
.
今天的單字等級應該可以列為史上最高，畢竟今天是第101天，也算是全新的開始(吧😂😂😂，希望可以為大家帶來一些刺激。這些很多單字都是GRE等級的單字，小編最近也在準備這個考試，如果也在準備的粉絲歡迎來認親哈哈哈🤗🤗🤗
.
當然大家可以不需要把所有單字記下來，可以每組記下1-2個在作文時用到就非常足夠了，有些單字其實都是我們平常都有看過的單字再去做變化，像是punctilious和punctual都有相同的字首(punct,刺、戳)，大家可以透過這個去連想😜😜
.
總之，小編整理筆記之於也拿來和大家分享分享，如果覺得太難的同學也不用灰心，繼續穩紮穩打吧❗
.

The new Hennessy V.S.O.P Privilège x United Visual Artists (UVA) brilliant red-coloured reflective packaging inspired me to make this Brandy Bramble.

1.5 Hennessy vsop
4-5 Muddled blueberries
0.5 Lemon juice
0.5 Syrup

This limited packaging is available at BSC Food Hall, Village Grocer in Plaza Arkadia, and selected Jaya Grocers.

#angeltini #HennessyMY #HennessyxUVA #BlendingOfTime

※単体で投稿して欲しい音があったらコメントまでよろしく。

Hello, I am umino.Thank you for watching this video.This description uses ○○ Translate.
やっはろー、私はうみのなのかもしれない。動画を見てくれてありがとうショコラティエンヌいぐるみんみんぜみうるせえぞこの野郎。

People who don't understand Japanese can't understand what I'm talking about in this video. So I will explain it in the summary column.
日本語が分からない人のために英語も載せておくけど多分翻訳ミスも多いよ。

This video is a campaign to post a collection of video material that we haven't been able to post yet. It's weak with just one piece, but if you put five pieces together, you can get by. If I get 5 of them together and they are weak, I will send them to the grave. Goodbye my video material (and the time I shot it).
今回の動画は中々投稿できていなかった動画素材をまとめて投稿キャンペーン。1個だけだと弱いけど5個まとめれば何とかなるでしょうの精神。5個集まっても弱かったらコイツラをボツ墓場へ送ります。さようなら私の動画素材(と撮影した時間)。

In Japanese sports manga, there's a setting in which an individual is weak, but somehow becomes stronger when they join a team. That's what this video is about. This is an ASMR video, though.
日本のスポーツ漫画には個人では弱いけど何故かチームになるとでは強くなってしまうという設定がある。この動画はそれだ。これASMR動画だけどね。

Do you have a favorite Japanese sports manga? Slam Dunk, Hi-Q, and what's next? A phenomenon that I should have read a lot of things, but when I try to remember, they don't come up. I'm not bothered by this phenomenon every day. The only time it bothers me is when I'm writing a paragraph or an outline.
日本のスポーツ漫画で好きなものはありますか？スラムダンク、ハイキュー、あとなんだっけ。色々読んでるはずなのに思い出そうとすると出てこない現象。俺はこの現象に日々悩まされてはいない。テロップや概要欄を書く時にだけ悩まされる。

If you have a favorite of the five video materials used in this video, please let me know. I may post the video on its own if it's well received. My bet is that not many people want to listen to it (one sound) on its own. I don't have anything to bet on, though.
この動画で使われてる5個の動画素材で好きなものがあったら教えてほしい。好評ならば単体で動画投稿するかもしれない。それ(1つの音)だけで聴きたいという人はあまりいないという方に私は賭ける。何も賭けるものはないが。

Unusual for me, but I'm going to introduce the video (no you always introduce it. You must feel sorry for the videos). First of all, it's Cocoonball Scratch. The problem with this one is that you can't see the cocoons at all. I wanted to tell myself to think about the angle of the camera.
私にしては珍しいが動画の紹介をする(いやお前いつも紹介しろ。動画が可哀想だろう)。まずは繭玉スクラッチだ。こいつには問題がある。繭玉が全然見えないことだ。カメラのアングルを考えろとこの時の自分に言いたい。

The reason I shot this video is because I got excited when I bought this mic and decided to shoot whatever it was that I wanted to shoot. For those reasons, the videos I shot are slow to be released. Or they will be buried in the dark. In case you're wondering, there aren't many videos of me using this microphone. You know why? Because it's not very good (I said it quite muddled).
この動画を撮影した理由は、このマイクを買った時にテンションが上がって何でもいいから撮影しようと思ったからだ。そういった理由で撮影した動画は公開されるのが遅くなる。あるいは闇に葬られるのだ。因みにこのマイクを使った動画はあまり公開されていない。何故か分かるか？あまり良くないからだ(かなり濁して言った)。

The next step is to massage the ears using packing material. In Japan, they call it puchi puchi. Pappi-puppi-puppi. I have a lot of memories of this microphone, but if you ask me to remember it now, I can't remember that much. I haven't even seen much of him lately. Yes, it's because he's dead. Goodbye, SR3D.
次は梱包材を使った耳のマッサージだ。日本ではあれのことをプチプチと呼んでいる。ぱっぴっぷっぺっぷちっぷち。このマイクとは思い出が多くあるが、今思い出せと言われてもそんなに思い出せない。最近は姿すらあまり見ていない。そう、死んだからだ。さようならSR3D。

For those of you who like SR3D, I have good news and sad news. There's no sadder news than the fact that it's dead, so don't worry. I personally love this microphone and I'm thinking of buying it again. But when I look at the sales site, I see that it's still sold out. Until we meet again....
SR3Dが好きな人には朗報と悲報がある。死んだことよりも悲しい報告はないから安心して欲しい。個人的にこのマイクが好きなのでまた買おうと考えている。しかし、販売サイトを見るとソールドアウトが続いているのだ。また会える日まで…。

Next up is mic-tapping. I don't have much to say about this. I can see my hands better than the microphone. That's about all I can say.
次はマイクタッピングだ。これについてはあまり喋ることがない。マイクよりも手がよく見えますね。言えることはこれくらいだ。

Next up is crumbling clay. I heard it's called "playform" overseas. It is like Japanese Natto. I don't know if there are natto overseas. The problem of this animation is that the image is difficult to see. And the presence of the dummy head is too big.
次はつぶつぶ粘土だ。海外ではプレイフォームと呼ばれているらしい。ジャパニーズ納豆みたいなものだ。海外に納豆があるかは知らない。この動画の問題点は映像が見にくい。そしてダミーヘッドの存在感が大きすぎる。

Finally, the brush. Only the right side is louder. It's obvious that I skipped editing the audio, but that doesn't matter. The fact that I only bought one brush made it so subtle, and I'd like to ask me at the time why I was so stingy with a $1 brush.
最後はブラシ。右側だけ音が大きい。音声の編集をサボったことがバレてしまうがそんなことはどうでもいい。ブラシを1つしか買わなかったことにより、微妙な出来になってしまった。100円のブラシなのに、何故ケチったのかその時の私に聞いてみたい。

Five like this. I reread them and about half of them were wasted.
こんな感じの5つです。読み返したら半分くらいは無駄話だった。

Good night.
おやすみの。

0:00 プ
23:25 ま
33:34 ちーぷー
44:00 マ・タ
54:40 黒頭
1:04:59 モロコシヘッド

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Mr.Children / "Hoshi ni naretara"
(A Star in the Sky)
Lyrics: Kazutoshi Sakurai
Music: Kasutoshi Sakura, Yohito Teraoka
Released 1992.

A song about going after your dreams! :)

One of my favorite songs by Mr.Children.

※Purple star background by The-Retro-Specter
http://the-retro-specter.deviantart.com/art/Starry-sky-352880180

～♪～♪～♪～♪～♪～♪～
渡辺レベッカHP
http://BlueEyedUtaUtai.jimdo.com
～♪～♪～♪～♪～♪～♪～

English Translation

The reason I decided to leave this town
Is that I still can't let go
Of that dream I told you about

Time after time I covered my ears
And muddled my way through
But this time is a bit different
I'm not who I was yesterday

I'll quietly slip away
But I'm not defeated
There's no cancelling now

*Goodbye, you won't see me anymore
But I won't be lonely
Because I know a day will come
When I'll be able to laugh out loud
Wouldn't it be nice if the dream I've set in motion
Could reach over the highest mountains
And become a star in the sky

If I should stumble along the way
I'll reach my hands up to the sky
Because I'm sure that somewhere
You're feeling the same wind

I hear a voice calling me
But I don't want to go back
I've even gotten used to ridicule

I've heard that you can jump further
If you take a long running leap
I'm certain that a day will come
When I'll be able to laugh out loud
Wouldn't it be nice if the dream I've set in motion
Could reach over a deep valley
And become a rainbow in the sky

*repeat

And become a rainbow in the sky