In this aLIVE Stream Raya #BersamaSaya #Dirumah Day 3, I speak to:

1. JJ Fernandez, Host & Emcee and co-Founder of Radiooh App. He is a father of two; Jon and Anne.
2. Zie Yan Lim, CEO iOlicomms, Founder of Dapur CheNah, co-Founder of @femxtalk and mother to Isaac, Sophie and Lucas.

We discuss parenthood : SHOULD YOU PICK THE BABY UP EVERYTIME THEY CRY?

Does the Pick Up, Put Down Method Work? Have you heard about the Eleanor Maccoby study that reveals that the faster the moms picked up their infants, the less babies cried and babies who were picked up, grew up to be most independent and curious toddlers.

I also share the Dunstan Baby Language with a snippets of an old vlog when I conducted this theory in an experiment with Isidore as a baby.

We also speak about the CHOOSING THE RIGHT CONTRACEPTION : How do you decide? What made you stick to that decision and why?

The reason for this topic was because Azmi came to thank me for going through the Tubal Ligation. I told just to be double sure of no more surprises, he can snip-snip too! What did he have to say about that? Find out in this episode.

Finally, my co-host Iman Daniella wanted to continue the tradition of Unboxing Tuesday, by unboxing the baby gifts sent by friends over the past few days. Thanks to all those who sent in Raya parcels, flowers, fruit baskets and baby gifts. We are grateful for the love and more.

「孩子出生前，你是否看了無數的育兒文章，下定決心要掌握正確的育兒理念，成為好父母。結果最後，一切好像無止盡的失控？」

這個年代，育兒理念多如繁星，不勝枚舉。

美國臨床心理學家 Diana Baumrind提出了Parenting Styles理念，而後Maccoby and Martin又將它更完善。
看一看，你認為自己屬於哪一種類型的父母呢？

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權威型 - 高度控制同時也高度關愛，嚴格執行對孩子好的規則和教養，但也理性的傾聽孩子的需求，營造豐富，關切，親密的家庭。

獨裁型 - 高度控制，有我講沒你講的威權教養。對孩子的要求很高，但極少在意孩子的感受。

放任型 - 對孩子很友愛，很溫暖，但至少約束及要求。只要孩子喜歡的，都任由他們按照自己的意願去做。

抽離型 - 孩子與父母是不同的個體，我過我的，你過你的。我不會刻意去滿足你的需求，因為我有我自己的生活和理想。

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不同的教養模式，會塑造不同的家庭模式和性格養成。
根據研究指出，權威型的教育方式是最健康積極的。

但會有會有一天，又有不同的結果？

我常常思考，究竟哪一種養育方式才是正確的，是好的？愛到極致會讓彼此沒頂，而過多的規則限制了孩子的發展。養一個人人都讚說聰明伶俐 有禮有規矩的孩子，就是好嗎？還是讓孩子有權力有自由，尊重他是一個個體，讓他自然而為就是好的？

其實每一個孩子都不一樣，每一對父母性格，家庭環境也都不一樣。同樣的環境，其實也會養成不同的性格。我們沒有人是生來就會當爸爸媽媽的。

我想很多時候，我們也在周圍過度關切的批判和質疑中，覺得無限挫折。讓我們大家在多一些寬容和理性的角度，不斷的學習調整，和孩子一同成長吧！

In this aLIVE Stream Raya #BersamaSaya #Dirumah Day 3, I speak to:


1. JJ Fernandez, Host & Emcee and co-Founder of Radiooh App. He is a father of two; Jon and Anne.
2. Zie Yan Lim, CEO iOlicomms, Founder of Dapur CheNah, co-Founder of @femxtalk and mother to Isaac, Sophie and Lucas.

We discuss parenthood : SHOULD YOU PICK THE BABY UP EVERYTIME THEY CRY?


Does the Pick Up, Put Down Method Work? Have you heard about the Eleanor Maccoby study that reveals that the faster the moms picked up their infants, the less babies cried and babies who were picked up, grew up to be most independent and curious toddlers.


I also share the Dunstan Baby Language with a snippets of an old vlog when I conducted this theory in an experiment with Isidore as a baby.

We also speak about the CHOOSING THE RIGHT CONTRACEPTION : How do you decide? What made you stick to that decision and why?


The reason for this topic was because Azmi came to thank me for going through the Tubal Ligation. I told just to be double sure of no more surprises, he can snip-snip too! What did he have to say about that? Find out in this episode.

Finally, my co-host Iman Daniella wanted to continue the tradition of Unboxing Tuesday, by unboxing the baby gifts sent by friends over the past few days. Thanks to all those who sent in Raya parcels, flowers, fruit baskets and baby gifts. We are grateful for the love and more.

迪士尼電影《魔雪奇緣》有多瘋魔萬千小女孩，人所共知。不過，有家長告知我們，連囝囝亦是超級Fans，不僅天天拿著Elsa公仔在唱「Let it go」，還說要買公主裙來扮演Elsa，弄得父母很擔心：「我囝囝是否有易服癖？或是有性別認同障礙？」

嗱嗱嗱，在胡思亂想之前，不如先聽聽美國心理學家Lawrence Kohlberg怎樣說。

參考資料
Berk, L. E. (2013). Emergency of Gender Identity. Child Development,9,548-560. Boston: Pearson
Cvencek, D., Meltzoff, A. N., & Kapur, M. (2014). Cognitive consistency and math–gender stereotypes in Singaporean children. Journal of Experimental Child Psychology 117, 73–91.

Jacobs, J.E. (1991). Influence of Gender Stereotypes on Parent and Child Mathematics Attitudes. Journal of Educational Psychology, 83, 518-527. American Psychological Association, Inc.

Kohlberg, L. (1996). A cognitive-developmental analysis of children’s sex-role concepts and attitudes. In E.E. Maccoby (Ed.), The development of sex difference (pp82-173). Standard, CA: Stanford University Press.

Martin & Little. (2008). The Relationship of Gender Understanding to Children’s Sex-typed Preferences and Gender Stereotypes. Child Development, 61, 1427-1439.

Ken R. Wells. "Gender Constancy." LoveToKnow.

University Of Michigan. (2007, June 25). How Dads Influence Their Daughters' Interest In Math. ScienceDaily.