#未成功的物品展覽會

走進會場，我看見了她的心碎，他的傷心，祂的遺憾。

她獲得不到疼惜於是心碎。
他擁有不了真愛於是傷心。
祂爭取不了活著於是遺憾。

放眼望去，那些被定義為貶義的物品都呈現在這場展覽會，但這並不代表這樣的展示是讓大家嘲笑用的，而是，他們都肯在自己的難題裡講出他們自己的不愉快，意外的，「未成功的物品」反而成為人們繼續有希望的關鍵。

說說她吧，她曾擁有一段外界稱羨的情感關係，然而只有她自己知道，城堡外的光鮮亮麗，城堡內的家庭暴力，「鞭數十，驅之別院」，她是被鞭的那一個。說是得不到他人給的疼惜於是心碎，但這一次，她惜疼了。開始憐惜自己的疼痛，走出去，不再依附他人，她開始學習讓自己活下去的能力，把那些碎掉的心一片片地補起來。

説説他吧，他愛他，於是家人說他髒。「我沒有你這個兒子」，這句話，是他每次帶著家用品為原生家庭不斷補充物資時，經常會收到父親給的回應。他學歷漂亮，公司漂亮，薪水漂亮，他的自理能力已經是最讓人放心的事情了，唯獨自己的真愛，他還無法在被祝福的前提下擁有，於是傷心。他也不是一直都在傷心過日子，他的學長跟他說，「我們再努力一點，至少我們都在為同一個目標努力，不是孤軍奮鬥的。」

說說祂吧，在上天堂前，祂自己知道說了傷人的話，「我沒有你這個兒子」，使兒子決定離家；祂也明白自己的行為弄疼了太太，「鞭數十，驅之別院」，祂是鞭人的那一個。其實祂愛祂的家人，因為祂的努力，也的確為家人賺得了一座城堡，只是某一天因為兒子向祂坦承愛上學長的事情，祂覺得丟臉，「我求神問卜，看了好多經書，但經書上卻沒教我如何導正兒子的性向」，從那之後，寶貝兒子變成了髒兒子，老婆也一直告訴祂「這是我兒子，他沒有做錯什麼，老公你要試著去接受跟包容」，祂開始天天藉酒消愁，經常打老婆出氣，直到婚姻離異，喝到身體都爛掉了，祂開始進出醫院，兒子忙碌經常無法陪診，那個會叫祂「伯父」的學長，反而是經常第一時間陪祂看診的人。

生命進入倒數才開始遺憾自己什麼沒有做，祂很抱歉自己的行為讓這個城堡裡的人傷痕累累，但祂不知道的事情是，其實每個人都有能力自己選擇想要過什麼生活，要讓傷痕結痂，還是讓傷口潰爛，都是自己可以決定的事情。兒子跟前妻或許都帶著結痂的傷痕，不過傷痕就很像是施工的道路，提醒你前方有危機，你可以提前改道行駛，只要你還活著，你永遠都有時間可以調整方向。

他們都為自己調整方向了。

其實，家，對我來說，他就是一個未成功的物品展覽會。過去成長的環境，讓我的家庭記憶充斥著心碎、傷心、遺憾，這些難題他們都被定義為「未成功的物品」，但，這就代表我的人生不成功了嗎？這些物品的展覽，終究是展覽，就像是每個展場的導覽解說一般，留下來的一定有其意義存在，也許某日我讀懂了誰的心碎，下一次我遇見同樣難題時，能有更進化的手段去面對解決，老天爺讓我能活到現在，或許就是要讓我在這一刻留下這故事吧。

至於這展覽會成功與否，就交給時間去發酵吧。謝謝你參與了這場未成功的物品展覽會，出口處有販售展場周邊商品，有眼淚礦泉水、有包袱背袋、有快樂筷，若你喜歡，可以把商品帶回家，讓你下一次未成功的狀態來襲時，這些物品陪伴你，讓你知道你不孤單，然後難過起來更加有力氣。

（我給自己許下一個小目標，我想挑戰一次國中會考國文的作文題目，花了大約50分鐘寫完，不知道有沒有符合規定，但我挑戰完畢了，而且我一定要說！！我看完題目之後開始著手，寫完才開始看各個新聞報導喔～絕對沒作弊！）

「用美食懷念至親」這對我們饕客家族來說，是再對味不過了！哈哈
跟老哥一家的 #台北福華 staycation，用一頓好料作為三天兩夜飯店居旅的尾聲，完美！

台北福華裡頭有好幾間餐廳，光是中式，就有三家，入住那晚吃了 #江南春，要再試的是另外一家主打 #古早台菜 的 #蓬萊邨。在前面幾則貼文有提到，江南春跟蓬萊邨的主廚都待了卅年左右，因此味道能一路走來始終如一，這對於一間餐廳來說，多不容易、是多令人感動的事啊...

點菜時，看到菜單上一道很熟悉的湯品，就決定是它了： #魷魚螺肉蒜。這道對我們家來說，有著相當的情感連結，記得以前擅廚藝的老爸還在時，每逢過年餐桌上都會出現這道他從他老哥、也就是我伯父那學到的經典台味豪華料理。應該老爸離開後我就再也沒吃到過了，這天能在數十年前老爸帶來嚐鮮的飯店裡，跟著家人們一塊享用他的手路菜，暖暖的。湯很鮮美、很好喝，螺肉很大，相當大器來著。

蓬萊邨在飯店網頁是這麼定義自己「以古早台菜為主力，結合精緻擺盤，讓台菜跳脫小吃侷限，成為體面的宴客佳餚。」這餐吃下來確實有讓我眼睛一亮，我們五個人，點了兩份「 #蓬萊邨金牌套餐」來試試味道，在力保傳統台味不變的前提下，不管是擺盤或料理上，都有相當創新，有別於一般印象中的傳統台菜。倒數幾道的湯品說是 #菜尾湯，結果一端上來，裡頭居然出現雕花鮑魚和干貝，我們笑說這是哪戶富貴人家的菜尾湯啊！但確實好喝，湯清但鮮甜，干貝也非常軟嫩。

另外我們也點了幾道餐廳的招牌菜來搭配，除了剛介紹的魷魚螺肉蒜，同時推薦幾道必點佳餚：
✔️ 軟煎溜肉：先將豬里肌肉醃漬後再搭配紅麴快煎，口感真好
✔️ 菜脯蛋：其實一開始壓根沒想到要點這道，實在太尋常，還好在飯店人員推薦下、我們才沒錯過。需要相當功力才能煎出眼前三公分厚彷彿法式烘蛋的外型，據說是以七三比使用了閩南菜脯與客家菜脯調製，味道控制的恰到好處。
✔️ 乾煎豬肝：我一向不愛豬肝那種粉粉的口感，但這道讓我大為改觀！用彈牙形容或許太過，但確實咬起來是帶些軟 Q 的，好吃！

還有道很讚的，但不用點，都會有，是稀飯！特別挑選台農 57 號地瓜搭配生米熬煮，那粥的綿密，確實就是我小時候常吃到的口味，好喜歡。

［翻轉視界 8］逃離禁錮之地：離開北韓我學會自由與憐憫
　
“If you don't know the words, that means you don't understand the concept, and therefore, you don't even realize that concept is even a possibility.” —— human rights activist Yeonmi Park。
　
「如果你不知道某些詞彙，那就意味著你並不了解某些概念，因此你也不會意識到，那些概念可以是一種可能。」——人權鬥士朴延美
　
對出逃前的她而言，自由與溫飽是很奢侈的理念，更無法了解「愛」的全貌。當我們無法得知世界發生了什麼，無法想像那超越自身認知的世界，我們便無法真正地同理他人。今天我想邀請大家，以不同的角度，重新感受自由、溫飽與愛的可貴。
　
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I was born in 1993 in the northern part of North Korea, in a town called Hyesan, which is on the border with China. I had loving parents and one older sister. Before I was even 10 years old, my father was sent to a labor camp for engaging in illegal trading. Now, by "illegal trading" -- he was selling clogs, sugar, rice and later copper to feed us. In 2007, my sister and I decided to escape. She was 16 years old, and I was 13 years old.
　
1. on the border with 鄰近邊界
2. labor camp 勞改營
3. illegal trading 非法的交易
　
１９９３年我出生在北韓的北部，一個名叫惠山的小鎮，鄰近中國邊界。我有愛我的父母與一位姐姐。在我１０歲大的時候，父親就被送去勞改營，因為他非法買賣一些東西。所謂的非法買賣，其實他是賣一些木鞋、糖、米，之後還賣了銅，只為了餵飽我們。２００７年，姐姐和我決定逃跑。她當時１６歲，而我１３歲。
　
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I need you to understand what the word "escape" means in the context of North Korea. We were all starving, and hunger means death in North Korea. So it was the only option for us. I didn't even understand the concept of escape, but I could see the lights from China at night, and I wondered if I go where the light is, I might be able to find a bowl of rice. It's not like we had a grand plan or maps. We did not know anything about what was going to happen. Imagine your apartment building caught fire. I mean, what would you do? Would you stay there to be burned, or would you jump off out of the window and see what happens? That's what we did. We jumped out of the house instead of the fire.
　
4. in the context of 在⋯⋯的情境中
5. concept 概念；觀念；思想
6. a grand plan 一個遠大的計畫
7. catch fire 著火
　
你們要知道，「逃跑」這兩字在北韓意味著什麼。我們天天挨餓，而飢餓在北韓意味著死亡。所以逃跑是我們唯一的選擇。我當時還不了解逃跑是什麼意思，但晚上我能看見中國那邊的燈光，我想著如果我能到有光的地方，也許就能找到一碗飯。我們沒有什麼遠大的計畫或地圖。我們完全不知道，接下來會發生什麼事。想像一下，你的公寓失火了，你會怎麼辦？你會坐以待斃，還是跳窗然後再看著辦？我們就是那樣。我們從大樓上跳了下來， 而不是等火燒上來。
　
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North Korea is unimaginable. It's very hard for me when people ask me what it feels like to live there. To be honest, I tell you: you can't even imagine it. The words in any language can't describe, because it's a totally different planet, as you cannot imagine your life on Mars right now. For example, the word "love" has only one meaning: love for the Dear Leader. There's no concept of romantic love in North Korea. And if you don't know the words, that means you don't understand the concept, and therefore, you don't even realize that concept is even a possibility.
　
8. unimaginable 無法想像
9. no concept of... 沒有⋯的概念
10. romantic love 浪漫愛
　
北韓是難以想像的。對我來說，要回答住在北韓是什麼感覺，非常困難。老實說，我可以告訴各位——你無從想像。沒有任何語言可以描述，因為那是個截然不同的星球，就像你現在無法想像自己在火星上的生活一樣。比如說，「愛」只有一個意思：愛偉大的領袖。在北韓沒有那種浪漫之愛的概念。如果你不知道某些詞彙，那就意味著你並不了解某些概念，因此你也不會意識到，那些概念可以是一種可能。
　
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Let me give you another example. Growing up in North Korea, we truly believed that our Dear Leader is an almighty god who can even read my thoughts. I was even afraid to think in North Korea. We are told that he's starving for us, and he's working tirelessly for us, and my heart just broke for him. When I escaped to South Korea, people told me that he was actually a dictator, he had cars, many, many resorts, and he had an ultraluxurious life. And then I remember looking at a picture of him, realizing for the first time that he is the largest guy in the picture. And it hit me. Finally, I realized he wasn't starving. But I was never able to see that before, until someone told me that he was fat.
　
11. an almighty god 一個全能的神
12. tirelessly 不屈不撓地；堅忍地
13. a dictator 獨裁者
14. it hit me 突然想到、意識到 
15. resort 度假地（此處係指北韓獨裁者有很多度假別墅）
16. ultraluxurious 極其奢華的
17. have a…life 過著⋯⋯的生活
　
讓我再舉一個例子。在北韓長大，我們真心相信我們偉大的領袖是全能的神，他甚至能看穿我在想什麼。我在北韓甚至不敢思考。我們聽說他為我們挨餓、不眠不休地為我們工作，而我為此感到心痛。我逃到南韓後，有人跟我說他其實是獨裁者，他有很多車、很多很多渡假別墅，他的生活極為奢華。我記得自己看著一張有他的照片，第一次意識到他是照片裡體型最大的那個。這件事讓我大受打擊。那時我才終於了解，他沒有挨餓。但我以前總無法看清這些，直到有人跟我說他很胖，我才恍然大悟。
　
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Really, someone had to teach me that he was fat. If you have never practiced critical thinking, then you simply see what you're told to see. The biggest question also people ask me is: "Why is there no revolution inside North Korea? Are we dumb? Why is there no revolution for 70 years of this oppression?" And I say: If you don't know you're a slave, if you don't know you're isolated or oppressed, how do you fight to be free? I mean, if you know you're isolated, that means you are not isolated. Not knowing is the true definition of isolation, and that's why I never knew I was isolated when I was in North Korea. I literally thought I was in the center of the universe.
　
18. critical thinking 批判性思考
19. revolution 革命
20. dumb 愚蠢的*
21. oppression 壓迫；壓制；欺壓
22. isolated and oppressed 與世隔絕的與被壓迫的
　
真的，要有人教我，他這樣叫做胖。如果你沒學過批判性思考，你看到的就只會是別人跟你說的。其他人對我提出的大哉問還有：「為何北韓沒有革命？我們傻嗎？為何歷經７０年的壓迫，卻沒人發動革命？」我回答：「如果你不知道自己是奴隸，不知道自己被與世隔絕、壓迫，你要如何為自由而戰？我的意思是，如果你知道自己被與世隔絕，那就表示你並非真的與世隔絕。與世隔絕的真正定義是無知，所以我從不知道，在北韓的我與世隔絕。我真的以為我們是宇宙的中心。

*dumb: https://bit.ly/3fG5XOk
　
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So here is my idea worth spreading: a lot of people think humans inherently know what is right and wrong, the difference between justice and injustice, what we deserve and we don't deserve. I tell them: BS. Everything, everything must be taught, including compassion. If I see someone dying on the street right now, I will do anything to save that person. But when I was in North Korea, I saw people dying and dead on the streets. I felt nothing. Not because I'm a psychopath, but because I never learned the concept of compassion. Only, I felt compassion, empathy and sympathy in my heart after I learned the word "compassion" and the concept, and I feel them now.
　
23. inherently 與生俱來地
24. justice and injustice 正義與不義
25. psychopath 精神病患者
26. compassion, empathy and sympathy 憐憫、同理與同情*
　
我覺得值得分享的想法是：很多人以為，人類生來就能分辨是非對錯，懂得正義與邪惡的差別，我們值得被怎樣對待。我跟他們說：放屁。所有的事，所有的事都得經過教導，包含憐憫。如果我現在看見有人在路邊奄奄一息，我會不顧一切來救他。但我在北韓的時候，會眼睜睜看著有人橫死街頭，卻沒有任何感覺。並非因為我是心理病態，而是我從未學過憐憫的概念。只有在我的內心感受到憐憫、同理與同情，我才學會「憐憫」一詞與其概念，而如今我已能感受到這些。
　
*compassion: a strong feeling of sympathy and sadness for the suffering or bad luck of others and a wish to help them

empathy: the ability to share someone else's feelings or experiences by imagining what it would be like to be in that person's situation

sympathy: (an expression of) understanding and care for someone else's suffering
　
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Now I live in the United States as a free person.
　
現在我以自由人的身分住在美國。
　
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And recently, the leader of the free country, our President Trump, met with my former god. And he decided human rights is not important enough to include in his agendas, and he did not talk about it. And it scares me. We live in a world right now where a dictator can be praised for executing his uncle, for killing his half brother, killing thousands of North Koreans. And that was worthy of praise. And also it made me think: perhaps we all need to be taught something new about freedom now. Freedom is fragile. I don't want to alarm you, but it is. It only took three generations to make North Korea into George Orwell's "1984." It took only three generations. If we don't fight for human rights for the people who are oppressed right now who don't have a voice, as free people here, who will fight for us when we are not free? Machines? Animals? I don't know.
　
27. agenda 議程
28. be praised for 因⋯⋯獲得讚揚
29. execute (v.) 處決
30. worthy of sth 適合某物或具有某物的特徵
31. fragile 脆弱
　
最近，自由國度的領袖，我們的川普總統，和我以前的神會面。他認定，人權沒那麼重要，不需排進議程中，所以對此他隻字不提。這嚇壞我了。我們竟身在一個獨裁者處決伯父還能獲得讚揚的世界裡，他殺害同父異母的哥哥、殺害成千上萬的北韓人民，竟還能得到讚揚。這不禁使我開始思考，也許我們現在都要學習自由的新涵義。自由很脆弱。我不想嚇你，但事實如此。短短三個世代，就讓北韓淪為喬治．歐威爾筆下的《１９８４》。只花了三個世代。如果我們不為人權而戰，不為受壓迫、不為無法發聲的人而戰，當身為自由人的我們不自由時，誰還願意為我們而戰？機器嗎？動物嗎？我不知道。
　
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I think it's wonderful that we care about climate change, animal rights, gender equality, all of these things. The fact that we care about animals' rights, that means that's how beautiful our heart is, that we care about someone who cannot speak for themselves. And North Koreans right now cannot speak for themselves. They don't have internet in the 21st century. We don't have electricity, and it is the darkest place on earth right now. Now I want to say something to my fellow North Koreans who are living in that darkness. They might not believe this, but I want to tell them that an alternative life is possible. Be free.
　
32. speak for oneself 為某人發聲
33. alternative life 另一種生活
　
我覺得我們能關心氣候變遷、動物權益、性別平等諸如此類之事，真的很美好。因為，我們關心動物權益，就代表了我們的心地有多善良，也代表我們關心無法為自己發聲的對象。北韓人民現在無法為自己發聲。身處２１世紀的他們，沒有網路可用。我們沒有電，那裡是當今地球上最暗的地方。現在我想告訴那些生活在北韓黑暗中的同胞。也許他們不會相信我，但我想告訴他們，生命仍有其他可能——意即自由的生活。
　
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From my experience, literally anything is possible. I was bought, I was sold as a slave. But now I'm here, and that is why I believe in miracles. The one thing that I learned from history is that nothing is forever in this world. And that is why we have every reason to be hopeful. Thank you.
　
34. slave 奴隸
35. miracle 奇蹟
　
就我的經驗，真的什麼事都有可能發生。我被人買走，賣給別人當奴隸。但我現在在這裡，這也就是為什麼我相信奇蹟。我從歷史上學到的一件事，就是世上沒有什麼是永恆的。而這也是我們無論如何都能懷有希望的原因。謝謝大家。
　
資訊出處：https://bit.ly/32p5HiK
　
圖片出處：https://bit.ly/32n2zEe
　
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如何增進同理心：https://bit.ly/34qSKnC
　
#ChangingPerspectives
#翻轉視界

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翻轉視界系列文章: https://bit.ly/3fPvKUs