《世上有種報復叫寬恕 / The Art of Persuasion （說服的藝術）》

雖然我哋嘅YouTube頻道訂閱只有唔夠五萬人，我都唔算多人識，但係我都明白喺某啲人心目中我係一個半公眾人物，唔係話我覺得自己好出名，而係我明白到有啲人，係會覺得我有一定嘅影響力。亦因為咁，有少部分人將我每一個錯誤都放到好大，例如聽到我讀錯咗一個字嘅時候，佢哋會好激動，會好嬲，覺得我誤導左學生，甚至會義正詞嚴、義憤填膺咁喺影片下面留言，同我講：「你讀錯咗呢個字就唔好教人啦！」，又或者「你明明錯咗，仲要死雞撐飯蓋！」，又或者：「你英文就好喇，但係中文好多懶音喎，讀個簡單嘅「我」字都冇讀到個NG音。」（佢哋可能冇聽過咩prescriptivism同descriptivism架）

其實佢哋未必係妒忌我啲乜嘢、或者係惡意咁批評緊，甚至可能係出於好意嘅。

面對呢啲所謂嘅hater，姑勿論佢哋啱定唔啱，講嘢有道理定冇道理吖，我自細就好鍾意嘅一個作家，佢叫Steven Covey，佢係一個self help genre嘅writer，你曾經講過一句咁嘅說話：「You can never win an argument.」（你永遠唔係爭辯裡面獲勝）

意思就係，就算你嘅觀點幾有道理都好，你嘅論證幾咁嚴密都好，有時說服其他人或者證明比其他人睇你係啱嘅方法，並唔係同佢地講道理、論邏輯或者嘗試說服佢哋，而係唔介意佢哋嘅批評，一路繼續做落去，甚至好肉麻咁講，用「愛」淹沒佢哋嘅憎恨。

用愛淹沒恨那個策略唔係我講㗎，係著名嘅企業家Gary Vee講嘅。你可能會覺得好奇怪，但其實你諗深一層，好有道理呀，你諗下惡意或者善意嘅批評姐（我哋好難讀心，有時都好難斷定究竟佢哋係善意定惡意的），如果你去謾罵佢哋，或者反駁佢哋，只會引來佢哋嘅進一步嘅反駁，但係如果你對佢哋展示同理心同關懷，就算佢地未必會即刻變咗buy你，佢哋反而都唔知俾咩反應好。我最鍾意嘅作家愛爾蘭才子Oscar Wilde咁講過一句有智慧又抵死嘅說話：

「Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. （寬恕你嘅敵人；冇嘢俾呢樣嘢更加令佢地苦惱。）」

點解？冇嘢俾寬恕更令敵人苦惱？因為佢地都好puzzled，點解人地唔係追斬我，反而出其不意咁用寬容對待我呢？

所以啊，面對hater最好嘅方法，唔係反駁佢哋、唔係說服佢哋、甚至未必係唔理佢哋，而係用愛去淹沒佢哋。

或者你會覺得，嘩，講到好神聖咁喎，邊會做到啊，呢啲人咁衰，唔通真係可以以德報怨咩？

其實可以架，對錯，有時唔係人生之中最重要嘅事，佢覺得你錯咪錯囉；你去反駁佢，根本唔會further到你個objective（which is 將佢拉近你嘅觀點），反而令到佢會更加憎你；相反如果你用同理心諗下，其實呢啲人內心可能好唔開心呢，佢哋需要透過踩低其他人，去令自己開心啲，所謂hurt people hurt people（受過傷害的人傷害他人/施虐者就是被虐者），其實呢啲人都好慘架，如果你能夠咁諗，同埋用愛同你解去對待佢哋，就算你未必佢convert你嗰邊，佢都會因為不知所措而收聲。咁咪唔使再嗌交囉！

利申：唔係永遠做到😅

credit：Gary Vaynerchuk

《世上有種報復叫寬恕 / The Art of Persuasion （說服的藝術）》

雖然我哋嘅YouTube頻道訂閱只有唔夠五萬人，我都唔算多人識，但係我都明白喺某啲人心目中我係一個半公眾人物，唔係話我覺得自己好出名，而係我明白到有啲人，係會覺得我有一定嘅影響力。亦因為咁，有少部分人將我每一個錯誤都放到好大，例如聽到我讀錯咗一個字嘅時候，佢哋會好激動，會好嬲，覺得我誤導左學生，甚至會義正詞嚴、義憤填膺咁喺影片下面留言，同我講：「你讀錯咗呢個字就唔好教人啦！」，又或者「你明明錯咗，仲要死雞撐飯蓋！」，又或者：「你英文就好喇，但係中文好多懶音喎，讀個簡單嘅「我」字都冇讀到個NG音。」（佢哋可能冇聽過咩prescriptivism同descriptivism架）

其實佢哋未必係妒忌我啲乜嘢、或者係惡意咁批評緊，甚至可能係出於好意嘅。

面對呢啲所謂嘅hater，姑勿論佢哋啱定唔啱，講嘢有道理定冇道理吖，我自細就好鍾意嘅一個作家，佢叫Steven Covey，佢係一個self help genre嘅writer，你曾經講過一句咁嘅說話：「You can never win an argument.」（你永遠唔係爭辯裡面獲勝）

意思就係，就算你嘅觀點幾有道理都好，你嘅論證幾咁嚴密都好，有時說服其他人或者證明比其他人睇你係啱嘅方法，並唔係同佢地講道理、論邏輯或者嘗試說服佢哋，而係唔介意佢哋嘅批評，一路繼續做落去，甚至好肉麻咁講，用「愛」淹沒佢哋嘅憎恨。

用愛淹沒恨那個策略唔係我講㗎，係著名嘅企業家Gary Vee講嘅。你可能會覺得好奇怪，但其實你諗深一層，好有道理呀，你諗下惡意或者善意嘅批評姐（我哋好難讀心，有時都好難斷定究竟佢哋係善意定惡意的），如果你去謾罵佢哋，或者反駁佢哋，只會引來佢哋嘅進一步嘅反駁，但係如果你對佢哋展示同理心同關懷，就算佢地未必會即刻變咗buy你，佢哋反而都唔知俾咩反應好。我最鍾意嘅作家愛爾蘭才子Oscar Wilde咁講過一句有智慧又抵死嘅說話：

「Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. （寬恕你嘅敵人；冇嘢俾呢樣嘢更加令佢地苦惱。）」

點解？冇嘢俾寬恕更令敵人苦惱？因為佢地都好puzzled，點解人地唔係追斬我，反而出其不意咁用寬容對待我呢？

所以啊，面對hater最好嘅方法，唔係反駁佢哋、唔係說服佢哋、甚至未必係唔理佢哋，而係用愛去淹沒佢哋。

或者你會覺得，嘩，講到好神聖咁喎，邊會做到啊，呢啲人咁衰，唔通真係可以以德報怨咩？

其實可以架，對錯，有時唔係人生之中最重要嘅事，佢覺得你錯咪錯囉；你去反駁佢，根本唔會further到你個objective（which is 將佢拉近你嘅觀點），反而令到佢會更加憎你；相反如果你用同理心諗下，其實呢啲人內心可能好唔開心呢，佢哋需要透過踩低其他人，去令自己開心啲，所謂hurt people hurt people（受過傷害的人傷害他人/施虐者就是被虐者），其實呢啲人都好慘架，如果你能夠咁諗，同埋用愛同你解去對待佢哋，就算你未必佢convert你嗰邊，佢都會因為不知所措而收聲。咁咪唔使再嗌交囉！

利申：唔係永遠做到😅

credit：Gary Vaynerchuk

此趟威尼斯之旅，得以参观台北市立美术馆在此举办的一场美籍台湾行为艺术家谢得庆老师的展览可算是主要的收获之一。
一开始经过展览布条的时候，先是觉得在这里看到中文甚是难得，同时觉得标题怪怪的：做时间 Doing time
时间怎么做呢？是翻译的错误吗？带着这样的疑惑继续跟着旅行团导游前行。

后来在游览的自由时间，偶然地再次经过展览门口，偶然地走进展览会场。引入眼帘是贴满在展览墙上的照片。是一位穿着制服的亚裔，在打卡机前拍下的一大串照片。在我和另一位团友努力思索着照片的意义时，展览的华裔导览便趋前询问我们是否需要协助，并且开始带着我们游览会场里的不同区块，很用心地逐个解释谢老师的所有展出作品。

其中展出的《打卡》和《户外》皆是一年行为表演，也是让我感到无比震撼的作品。
通过艺术家本身在作品表演的的那一年对自己订下的苛刻的行为限制，完整地体现了自由中的自我约束，并在时间的推移下考验着其坚韧和毅力。
“我想，我会很好奇，能够想到进行这些一年行为表演的谢老师，和利用时间才能创造出来的艺术作品，会有什么特别的涵义？”
“也许只是想表达：生命就是在浪费时间。”
导览微笑着说。

乍听之下极其悲观，却又是不争的事实。
我们的生活，是在利用时间，还是浪费时间？
你找到了自己能够鼓足干劲，利用时间的事了吗？还是依然得过且过，就这样浪费着自己的时间？

带着这样的疑问，迪欧的涂鸦簿因此想要把这次的展览经历记录下来，能让自己持续反思。
最后也想起了《穿越时空的少女》那一句"time waits for no one."

当然再多的文字毕竟也无法比上现场画面所带来的即视感，所以有兴趣的人可google谢德庆老师并细细咀嚼他的作品。

（作品将展出至11月26日，地点在威尼斯总督宫/叹息之桥那里。如果这期间有幸到威尼斯游玩，可以抽空去参观。）

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During my recent trip to Venice, I had a chance to visit an exhibition held by Taipei Fine Arts Museum inside one of Venice's historical buildings. It is an exhibition about a Taiwanese American, Teh Ching Hsieh, who was also a performance artist back in 80's.

At first I was puzzled by the title while passing by with our tour group members. "How to do the time?" is a question that stuck in my head for a while.
Eventually, I and another tour member went into the exhibition hall and was at first confused by a huge amount of similar photos posted on the wall. However, we were soon approached by a friendly exhibition guide who started to guide us from one area to another, and explained the arts patiently to us.

I was amazed especially by Hsieh's and which the artist set up very strict behavior restriction on himself despite enjoying the most freedom he could have.
"This makes me wonder, what is the purpose or the sole idea that Hsieh like to tell us by using, or I should say by wasting the time to create his art pieces?"
"Maybe he just liked to tell us: Life is about wasting time."
The exhibition guide smiled.

Pessimistic yet so true.
How many of us are actually wasting our time? And how many of us are actually utilizing our time to do something that actually makes us feel alive?
Something that Duo has been thinking since after the visit. Again it reminds me of a quote from : "Time waits for no one."

If anyone of you is interested to find out more, you can always google Teh Ching Hsieh or find more info on wikipedia. The exhibition will be held until 26/11 so you may consider to pay it a visit too if you are travelling to Venice.