💕「愛台灣，我的選擇」系列第16發：熱愛台灣詩的美國學者白瑞梅(Amie Parry)

「我在加州內陸地區一個叫做聖伯納迪諾的小城市長大，隨後在聖地牙哥念大學和研究所，並獲得文學博士學位。求學期間我們必須至少選修一門外語，所以我就選了中文。1987年我大學畢業之後，跟朋友來了台灣一趟，在台灣教英文和學中文六個月，接著就自己一個人當起背包客在亞洲四處旅遊。

我本來想要研究中國古典詩詞，後來因為獲得傅爾布萊特獎學金，便又再度回到台灣。當時我在討論詩詞的聚會上認識了幾位現代派詩人，所以我就將研究主題轉而聚焦在台灣60、70和80年代的現代詩。我的博士論文探討的就是，以現代主義來理解現有政治語言中難以理解的現代性。我認為歷史形塑而來的經驗，往往比語言本身還要複雜。

我研究的那些詩作沒有明確的政治性，反而是有很強的實驗性質，並帶著詭譎的神秘感。當時我認識的現代派詩人大多是跟著國民黨飄洋過海來台的外省人，他們經歷過戰爭和顛沛流離，也經歷過劇烈且痛苦的歷史創傷。每個人的經驗都不同，在那個年代，也很難說出口。後來，我寫了一本關於詩的書，並聚焦在一兩位我覺得特別有趣的詩人。我在書中問了一些類似的問題：這些詩作如何幫你思考艱難的議題？

當時的現代詩已經頗有制度，許多詩人都有投稿《現代詩》這份重要的詩刊，有些詩人則是將詩作與戲劇結合。整體而言，台灣的現代詩、表演藝術和文學都發展地如火如荼，也深深吸引了我，但我還未全盤了解。當我完成博士論文時，我便獲得交通大學的教職，讓我對台灣的學術圈感到非常驚艷。而當我出版第一本著作時，我也很訝異能在美國獲獎；我根本不知道自己獲得提名，當時我問授獎單位：「為什麼選擇我的書？」他們表示：「因為書中其中一個章節是以跨國的架構來進行整體論述，妳不是單用西方的理論和東方的詩詞，而是從東西方共同錘煉出嶄新的知識。」

我目前任教於中央大學英美語文學系，除了擔任系主任之外，我也有教授寫作課、文學課和文學文化理論課程。從我1987年第一次來台灣到現在，我覺得台灣人愈來愈能自在地與來自不同地方的人交談，就個人經驗來說，我認為台灣社會愈來愈開放。我第一次來台灣時，經歷了許多台灣社會有趣的發展，也結交了許多朋友，並認識了許多學術圈的同好。我想，這些珍貴的回憶就是呼喚我再度回台的動力；就像是，如果你覺得這個社會充滿生氣和活力，而你也能夠參與其中、做出貢獻，我想這就是像家一樣的感覺吧！」

✨白瑞梅 Amie Parry 現為中央大學英美語文學系 專任教授

💕Why I chose Taiwan #16 – Amie Parry

“I grew up in a small city in inland California called San Bernardino. I went to college and graduate school in San Diego. I got my PhD in literature. We were all expected to learn at least one language, so I did Chinese. I traveled to Taiwan with a friend right after I graduated from college in 1987. We came here to teach English and study Chinese for six months, then I traveled around Asia by myself with a backpack.

I originally wanted to study classical Chinese poetry. I got a Fulbright grant and I came back here. I started going to the poetry nights that were happening at that time. I met some of the modernist poets, and I switched my focus to the modernist poetry of the 60s, 70s, and 80s in Taiwan. I wrote my dissertation on modernism as a way of understanding the parts of modernity that are hard to know in the existing political language that we inherit. I think that experience in historical formation is always more complicated than the language.

These poems are not explicitly political; they're very experimental and strange. At the time, the modernist poets I met were mostly 外省, men who had been drafted and come over with the KMT, so they had experienced war and displacement, and a very intense and traumatic historical moment. People experienced it differently, and at that time, it was a hard thing to talk about. Later, I wrote a book about poetry, but I just focused on one or two poets I find really, really fascinating. And I was asking some of the same kinds of questions: how can these poems help you think about certain topics that are hard to think about?

At that time, Modernist poetry was a kind of an institution already. There was a journal called 現代詩, “Modern Poetry,” a really important journal that most of these poets were published in. Some of them combined poetry and theater. There's just so much going on in Taiwan in terms of poetry and performance and literature. It's just amazing. And I'm very interested in it at all, but I haven't kept up. After I finished my dissertation, I got a job offer at 交大. I thought, wow, there's something really amazing happening intellectually here. When my first book came out, it actually got an award in the U.S., and I was so surprised. I didn't even know it had been nominated. I asked them, ‘Why did you choose my book?’ And they said, because one of the chapters has a transnational of framework for the whole argument, so it wasn't like you used Western theories and Eastern texts, it's like the whole knowledge part is coming out of both places.

I currently teach in the English department at National Central University. I'm the chair and I teach writing classes, literature classes, and literary and cultural theory classes. Since my first visit to Taiwan in 1987, I think people are a little more comfortable talking to people from different places. In my personal interactions, I feel a difference, like a greater openness. Back then, there were so many interesting things happening here, all at one time, and that's the time that I happened to be here. And I made good friends in my personal life and in my intellectual life. And I think those are the things that made me come back: like if you feel that there's something interesting happening and there's some way that you can support it. I guess that's a way of feeling at home.” — Amie Parry

✨Amie Parry is professor of the Department of English at the National Central University