#迷上英式英文【男神Cumberbatch的男神聲線】
#蕭叔叔講莎士比亞

演英國電視劇火紅的男神Benedict Cumberbatch擁有一把超重低音的磁性男生，身為聲音控的蕭叔叔，也不禁為之顛倒。這一短片，是Cumberbatch為BBC電視劇拍的廣告，題為A Lifetime of Original British Drama on the BBC。

其中他朗讀的一段文字，來自莎士比亞劇As You Like It的著名獨白All the World’s a Stage，講述人由呱呱墜地到衰老死亡的過程。全文如下。

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

蕭叔叔輕輕用廣東話粗略解釋大意：

人生如舞台上七段戲。

第一階段，係又嘈又嘔奶嘅手抱BB。

第二階段，係lur地唔願意返學嘅小學雞。

第三階段，係sighing like furnace，整天唉聲嘆氣，要生要死，對住小事如愛人條眼眉都可以作到首慘情詩嘅超難頂lovers。

第四階段，係滿口古怪誓言，終日打打鬧鬧，為榮譽連砲彈都唔怕嘅軍人。

然後第五階段，開始變成離地中產，成為又肥又貪，滿口道理嘅官。

第六階段，身形漸漸縮水，開始衣不稱身，聲線變弱，由雄厚聲線，變到老人家嗰D好似吹口哨嘅vee vee聲。

第七階段，係second childishness。也就是說，你點嚟，就會點去，變番好似BB仔一樣，冇牙、冇眼、冇味覺、乜9都冇。

同場加映，蕭叔叔上年在明報寫的文章：

【我有特別的學英文技巧－讀莎士比亞】蕭愷一

【明報專訊】讀莎士比亞，不應該是文學學生的專利。蕭叔叔的writing學生，不論長幼，都要讀莎士比亞的詩和劇。「點解要讀這些『英文的文言文』？」不少學生問。莎士比亞的的文字，的確同現代英文好不同，不論句式，詞序，用字，以至串法，都不一樣。假如不是要學寫古文，讀來作甚？主要有兩個原因。

第一，閱讀甚至背誦莎士比亞，有助掌握英文輕重音的節奏。英文這個語言，著重音節的輕重，這種輕重音相隔的節奏，好比中文的平仄，文筆是否流暢，好多時要看這個。不論寫作還是說話，不拿捏好輕重音，英文好難學得好。但這不是本文主旨，未來再跟大家詳談。

第二個原因，也是今天蕭叔叔要跟大家說的：多讀老莎的文字，有助解決寫作軟弱無力，言之無物，含糊不清，累贅不堪等港式英文常見的毛病。莎士比亞的文字有什麼特點？用字靈活多變而精簡，比喻新穎而深刻。今天蕭叔叔找來兩句取自莎士比亞的劇作和情詩的例子，跟大家一同感受他文字的創造力和感染力。

第一句來自戲劇 The Merchant of Venice。劇中反派角色猶太人 Shylock 借錢給男主角，合約訂明假如主角於時限前還不到錢，Shylock 就可割下他一磅重的肉，換句話說，就是要了他的命。後來主角週轉不靈，真的還不到錢，一直對主角恨之入骨的 Shylock 當然不會放過傷害主角的機會，有人問 Shylock 為何要堅持要履行合約，他說：

He hath disgraced me and hindered me half a million, laughed at my losses, mocked at my gains, scorned my nation, thwarted my bargains, cooled my friends, heated mine enemies—and what’s his reason? I am a Jew. […]

蕭叔叔翻譯技巧平平，只道個大意出來：他（男主角）不單累我唔見錢，仲常常羞辱我，冷待我，嘲笑我，只因我是個猶太人。大家留意兩個簡單的字：cooled 和 heated。兩個在此都是動詞，cooled my friends，大意就是破壞我同朋友之間的友誼，使朋友離我而去；heated my enemies 就是煽動我的敵人。這兩個字，都簡潔到極，但意思好出，一看就明。大家不妨想想自己會怎樣表達這兩句的意思。英文平平的人，可能會把前半部寫成：

made me lose my friends，或
caused my friends to leave me，或
undermined the relationship between me and my friends，之類。

後半部可能會變成：

made my enemies hate me even more。

非常長氣，而且表達還不夠簡單一句 cooled my friends，heated my enemies 生動、深刻。這是大師的功力。

第二句來自老莎的情詩（他的情詩是一絕，將來找幾首同大家讀讀）。老莎跟情人的關係若即若離，有時好high，有時 insecure。有次他寫:

To leave poor me thou hast the strength of law, since why to love I can allege no cause.

他說，你要離開我，實在有太多太多的理由，像連法律都會站在你那邊，因為我從來都配不起你：I can think of no reason why you should love me and stay with me.

要離開我，you have the strength of law！假如你要走，像法律明文寫出一樣堂皇的道理，都在你那邊。可看到老莎在這段關係裏的地位是如何卑微。大家請留意，這句的字，都是很淺的，但意義深遠，比喻深刻。也看 allege 一字。因為，你為什麼要愛我，我一個理由都想不到。Allege 這個法庭常用的動詞，跟前句的比喻呼應。你為什麼要愛我？我一個理由都呈不上。幾可憐！

篇幅有限，先講到這裏，只希望大家也感受到老莎文字可愛之處。讀莎士比亞，不是為了要寫這些「文言文」，而是為了學習他運用文字的 spirit。

最後，由於這是蕭叔叔在本欄的第一篇文，在此向大家打個招呼，請大家多多指教。另外，叔叔也要戴個頭盔。蕭叔叔雖是個英文教與學的狂熱份子，但從未受過正式的語言學、文學、翻譯的訓練。假如有何錯漏，歡迎電郵或在 Facebook 指正，指點，討論，感謝萬分。

文：蕭愷一

作者簡介：蕭愷一，AKA蕭叔叔。夢想做男神，現實是大叔的英文教學狂熱份子，law grad，哲學碩士dropout，語言學愛好者。以 speak English like an educated native 為教與學的終極目標。Facebook專頁：蕭叔叔的英式英文學會 facebook.com/unclesiu

紀錄片: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQRAfJyEsko

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dw_kid12/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deepwebkid/?modal=admin_todo_tour

訂閱: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKC6E5s6CMT5sVBInKBbPDQ?sub_confirmation=1

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/2LjUOH9T9j21GiX8jzytu6
異度空間恐怖APP: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6PiyPZ3d_Fw&t=12s

首支單曲: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UASHWB6Ai9Y

鬼故事: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CfqxuCHq3Y&t=3s

我的成長故事: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdhtp6A6YJE

我講 '香港' 10,000次: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-G4uDe3QUfs

我受夠了, 我的精神困擾: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQ6uxaQhiS4&t=7s

24小時內學印度話: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3EmtyVK1BQ&t=55s


回憶我兩年前拍過的虐畜影片
拍虐畜影片這些事 (我的親身經歷)

2017年11月到2018年6月是我拍片生崖當中, 我所稱為 ‘尷尬期’ 的時段. 我當時是想由拍英文鬼故頻道影片同時希望轉型生活類型影片和講東話影片. 出來的效果就是一大堆又煩又cho又不好笑又沒人看又常常得罪人的誇張內容. 不要要求我給你看, 因為這些影片現時已被刪除.

暗網仔出街的觀眾大家好! 我今天想懺悔當中拍了一部I feel ashamed and guilty i ever did it. 在這裡講這段故事改變不了什麼也叫不回所造成的傷害. 大家也歡迎看完這條影片之後不再支持我. 但我怕今天不拍出這條片我日後不會講出這個故事但uw yeen會想起而後fooy. 多謝你們給我一個機會去講.
神父 我有罪!

[跟倉鼠生活48小時]
2018年6月16號我上載了一條養一隻倉鼠兩天的影片. 長達8分27秒的影片嘗試混合 ‘實驗型’ 影片和 ‘?物型’ 影片, 完全為了拿views. 由那兩天不同的時間點去講做寵物主人難chui, lut look的地方. Suen便搞笑.
影片一開頭去商店買倉鼠是我第一次拍攝時被質問的情況, 挺值得講. 因為只是照顧兩天的關係倉鼠生活的環境完全不理想, 只是放他在買回來的箱子中生活. 因為影片需要新鮮感我會在不同時間拍他還有不同地點去拍他. 當時我完全沒有意圖繼續yoing這隻小動物, 所以最後過了48小時我轉yoing比我更有愛心的兄弟yoing. 幾個月後這位倉鼠也離開了我們.

上載這條影片後有網友説每一次拍這隻小動物的時候他樣子也很害怕和焦慮. 由Muk生環境加上我每次突然間的拍攝引起. 但當時chuw luw的我只是當這個小生命跟拍片的工具沒兩分別. What are you doing man? Having to watch this video now makes me suffer. Hing hung當時這些影片沒有人看, 否則我一定繼續拍下去.

其實我記得小時候的我挺有愛心的. 9到11歲有yoing一隻倉鼠的我, 有pet這樣東西在童年也jim一個挺重要的部分.
我記得當年su假我去了香港leuy hung. 原本我媽媽應該照顧我隻chung mut. 之後她無la la又自己由加拿大飛去香港將我隻倉鼠交給一班挺Heartless的family friend. 我是說他們全家. 我當時knew something bad was going to happen because they tried to like tried to use a hose to spray my hamster before and torture and have a history of treating animals like not lives. I remember my mom went back before me and she said when she got my pet back he was so quiet and in a few days died. He was abused, my mom even said so herself.
I couldn’t even see his last time and he was buried. I remember getting off the plane crying in the shower. After when I talked about everyone just laughed at me and called it just a pet. And everyone pretended like nothing happened, next topic. But for a time he was my best friend.

Ever since that day I never bonded with animals again, because I was like: they are just animals. Like garbage. But it’s not true. They are living beings and friends. And I see that now.

I think I’m feeling like this because the way I treated the hamster is the way my hamster died. And I feel guilty for my childhood and now.
That’s why I needed to Film this video today.
[my first pet]


[owning a pet for views, the good way and the bad way to do it.]

I want to start by acknowledging their are good youtubers who raise pets. And I feel the key to doing this properly is to really in your heart, feel that connection to the pet. Not use it for views.
我有follow一位叫yanki, 即是火guy姐的女生常常post有關animal abuse這個問題. She constantly does it and reminds everyone it is a huge problem. Suey yeen我之前拍那一條影片某ching do上是這方面一個不好的教材. 但我現在可以做的是下面有一條link是一個有關這方面的documentary, roing大家了解更多. 也希望世間上所有ley hoi的小倉鼠也可以得到安息吧! Bye bye.