(如果不想看我打的英文可以直接拉到下面看我另外打的中文)

Hello my people from Bao country just wanna show u guys the animation for the motions test of the pets Niku and Baku, and the super fierce attack motion of the Director Bao character. hopefully the game can be released without a hitch next month.

if it has decent sales I’m gonna have a talk with the engineers and the animators to have them add a bunch of bs functions.

And if everything goes well I’m gonna add in the “A-pei character that everyone loves so much, and there’ll also be a giant-sized Tibetan Mastiff : king of fat u can have as a pet.

I’ll let everyone know when it’s released.

There were people that used to look down on me, thinking that I ain’t worth shit being only able to draw.

I’ve encountered a self-centered, conceited mofo before during work,She was all saying that she wanted to collab with me to make a game but all she really wanted to do was to use my rep to do her own thing.

That fucking asshole thought she was the shit and everyone should bow down to her ass. She has fucking broken English skills but she was all like “I’m the fucking greatest in the world.”

She used to talk about how her mom opened up an English cram school for her, some shits about her studying abroad in England for fucking 9 weeks and that she’s da shit for doing so, and also she kept bragging that even the CEO thinks her English is very good.

But guess what tho, her retarded ass can’t even speak or write in proper English. She fucking not only spoke with a retarded accent but her grammar is all over the place, but yet she had the balls to bitch and laugh at others when they make a mistake in English, saying shit like “Didn’t that guy study in England, how come his writings are crap?”

And she would even use onomatopoeia phrases like “ewww” or “eek” or “ouch” to prove that her English is “authentic.”

U know what tho, if ur English is that good there’s no fucking need for u to show off like this or use berate others.

One time, I had enough and wrote a long ass complaint to the boss(About work stuff), that made her shut up for good cause the fucking retard wasn’t able to understand a word of that letter.

That bitch thought she’s better than everyone else and she’s not shy to it.

What’s make matters worse is that she hates dogs cause she thinks dogs are filthy animals.

When my dog Baku passed away she made some nasty remarks that I’ll never forgot and forgive her.

Honest to God I’ve never seen this kind of worthless piece of scum in life, that fucktard is the really the worst kind of piece of crap that I’ve ever met in my life.

Oh yea that stupid-ass motherfucking retard even once said that she was gonna work in Europe, but it’s all bs cause she aint even passed the job interview.

My violin teacher knows this retard too. My violin teacher was like: “dang girl this is hands down the worst kind of bitch being on earth”

Sorry for typing all this shit, just couldn’t stop once I got started.

I hope everyone supports the game that is about to be released.

My colleagues in Europe and I are super thankful of u guys ahhh!

給大家看一下泥褲和巴褲動作測試的動畫
還有寶總監角色超猛的攻擊動作
希望能在下個月順利發行遊戲

如果賣得不錯我就要跟工程師和動畫師吵鬧
要他們加入一些北爛的功能

如果順利一定會加入大家喜歡的阿培當角色
還有阿培最愛的超巨大的獒犬帝肥(阿肥)當寵物

到時遊戲釋出了再跟大家說

曾經有些人一直看衰我看不起我
因為我不喜歡念書上課都在睡覺
我不是不會念書是我不想念而已
他們覺得我只會畫圖沒屁用以後會餓死
只有我阿嬤支持我常常跟一些牌友炫耀
說我孫子畫的好漂亮啊之類的
但大部分的人都覺得我以後會沒出息

我之前的工作遇過一個非常自以為是又自私又跩的同事
說很想要跟我一起做遊戲然後利率對半分
我那時就覺得這個人心機很重為何我要授權給妳
我知道她只是想要利用我的名氣有夠現實的
(還很跩說不做也沒差啊我不求妳我有收集其他作家的資料等等)

那個混蛋覺得自己很唱秋
其他人都是白癡都很笨她很看不起別人
她曾經跟我說現在的人基因越來越差所以智商都很低
每天上班一副我超屌不屑跟大家講話的樣子

那傢伙英文明明很爛還在那邊很囂張
說什麼她媽以前為了她還開英文補習班
說她去英國遊學九個禮拜很屌
說老闆覺得她英文很好(老闆是加拿大華人)

幹放屁 講話文法錯一大堆王八蛋
她還會嘲笑其他人英文很差很爛
說英文差的人沒資格升上更高的職位
說那個誰誰誰知道不是去英國唸書
怎麼打出這種爛英文啊之類的

那傢伙還會故意學外國人的噁或其他語助詞（例如好痛之類）
假裝自己是純正的在海外生活的華人

我覺得英文這種東西夠用就好
如果你的英文真的很強很屌
你他媽的就沒有必要像這樣炫耀或斥責別人

有一次我因為在工作上的事情很煩(上面的人一直塞東西給我)
我給我們CEO寫了一長篇全英文訊息抱怨和建議(關於工作)
然後我傳給她看她就閉嘴了(我很確定她沒看或是她用GOOGLE翻譯)
幹因為她根本看不懂全部的文章王八蛋

那人也看不起別人覺得自己很屌
一點都不會覺得不好意思

最糟糕的是她超討厭狗
她覺得狗很噁心很骯髒
她說她這輩子最討厭狗

在我的狗巴褲過世時她還對我說了超狠毒的話
我永遠不會忘記也永遠不會原諒她

老實說我一輩子沒看過這種爛貨
真的是我遇過人品最差最自私的垃圾

喔幹那傢伙曾經說要去歐洲工作等等
在那邊唱秋結果面試根本沒過

我小提琴老師也知道這個王八蛋
她說天啊這是世界上最爛的人類

真對不起打了這麼多狗屁
真是一打就停不下來真的很氣

希望大家支持我們即將上市的遊戲
我和我的歐洲同事們都超感謝你們

過期又如何？一拍即散，就是這個意思。🤣 我都快看不慣自己化妝的樣子了⋯ Ikr, expired liao. Hahaha! Found this in my album tho, that was when I told ma girls: “I so long no makeup liao ehh.. nearly forgot this face of mine liao. Shoot har sin.. lol!” @8tvchinese

P/S: BGM is one of my fav raya songs, by @yuna - Raya Oh Yeah. Recommended this song over my radio show too last year, I masih ingat lagi lah. Cun!
_
#chrystinang #chryssvlog #chryssatwork #8tv #hariraya #raya #yuna

<脫口秀小訣竅中英翻譯-靈感篇>

文長注意!

之前小歐在脫口秀社團po了外國佛心大神脫口秀演員Gary Gulman，在twitter上連載的366個脫口秀小訣竅。

小妹就認領了靈感篇來翻譯。以下為22個小訣竅的中英文對照，若有翻的不盡理想的地方，請留言詳述，我會再看怎麼修改。原文和網誌版會放在留言處，方便大家查看。

---
Ideas
靈感

Tip No. 41: You know those quirky little things you do and think? Collect them in a file or on paper. Even if you’re a storyteller, you can use these as details to add depth and distinction to your jokes.
你了解自己做或想的古怪小事嗎? 把他們記錄在紙上或檔案夾裡。即使你是講故事的人，也可以將這些內容作為細節，以增加笑話的深度和特色。

GARY'S FAVORITES
Gary(原作者)的最愛
Tip No. 45: Don’t Hoard Jokes
Don’t worry about “burning” material on a special or album. Hoarding jokes may signal to your brain that you’re out of ideas. “You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” — Maya Angelou.
不要囤積笑話。不要怕在演出或專場用光自己累積的材料。囤積笑話會對你的大腦發出信號，暗示你已經沒有想法。如同Maya Angelou所說:”你無法耗盡創意。 你使用的越多，你擁有的就越多。”

Gary’s thoughts on Tip No. 45: This attitude has been crucial to an unprecedented streak of creativity over the last two years. I’ve written four hours of material, which is almost as much as I wrote in my first 23 years of comedy. Most important has been my health, this idea may be second.
Gary對此建議的想法: 在過去兩年中，這種態度對我的前所未有的創造力，有著至關重要的影響。我已經寫了四個小時的素材，這幾乎與我前23年的喜劇寫作一樣多。最重要的是我的健康，這個想法則排名第二位。

Tip No. 62: Look for inspiration everywhere. Paintings, music, poetry, rap, novels, nonfiction, short stories, theater, philosophy, etc. can all provide a spark for creativity. Cross-pollinate your work with broad influences and watch your creativity grow.
在各處尋找靈感。繪畫、音樂、詩歌、饒舌、小說、非小說、短篇故事、戲劇、哲學..等，都可以為創造力提供火花。以廣泛的影響力對你的工作進行異花授粉(原文:cross pollination，藉由風或昆蟲從別的花獲得繁衍的花粉)，並觀察你的創造力增長。

Tip No. 63: Write it all down while the coffee is still telling you you’re mighty. Reread after you’ve turned back into Dr. Banner (yes he’s a genius, but not as self-confident in that condition). That buzz is so valuable but needs editing.
在咖啡發揮效果告訴你”你超棒”的時期，把所有想法寫下來。當你回復成原本的自我 (原文: Dr. Banner，也就是尚未變身成綠巨人浩克的班納博士，是個缺乏自信的天才)時，重讀一次剛才的寫作。思緒激昂(原文:buzz，也有微醺、很鏘的意思)很珍貴，但需要編輯。

GARY'S FAVORITES
Gary(原作者)的最愛
Tip No. 90: After a Good Set, Brainstorm
You just had a great set. Instead of celebrating, use that hour or so after when the synapses are still firing and your confidence is soaring to voice record or write down the ideas that pop up during that especially fertile creative time.
如果你剛完成一場精采的表演，不用太早慶祝，要在大腦突觸仍在觸發、信心爆發、靈感特別豐腴的創作時間裡，把突然出現的想法錄音或寫下，再多花一個小時左右的時間繼續創作吧。

Gary’s thoughts on Tip No. 90: Huge help in making jokes that work longer and coming up with tangents and inspired ideas.
Gary對此建議的想法: 這建議在創作笑話的過程中提供巨大幫助，並提供變化和啟發性的想法。

Tip No. 92: Notice where you do your best thinking. The shower? Running? Listening to music? Not listening to music? Driving? Walking? Make sure to put yourself in the places where you’re doing your best thinking as frequently as possible.
你有注意過你在哪個’場景最能好好思考嗎。沐浴時？跑步時？聽音樂時？不聽音樂時？開車時?走路時？請盡量把自己放在最適合思考的場域。

Tip No. 132: I think you can limit frustration and discouragement by writing just a page on a new premise before trying it out onstage. See if there’s anything there before you spend a day on a new joke. But if you’re truly excited by the new idea, keep going!
我認為你可以在上台試笑話之前，先寫一頁的新前提，這可以限制你的挫敗感和沮喪感。在你花一整天開發新笑話之前，先研究前提是否可挖掘。但是，如果你真心對這個新點子感到興奮，那就放手去做吧!

Tip No. 143: Listen to strangers’ conversations. (I tell myself it’s not impolite if they’re being super-loud.) I got “How Dottie is that?” when a supercilious woman named Jodi bragged “How Jodi is that?” “So Jodi,” her friend replied.
偷聽陌生人的對談(我都告訴自己偷聽並不是沒禮貌的行徑，是他們講話太大聲了)。我有一次聽到一個名叫Jodi的膚淺女人吹噓"How Jodi is that?"，她朋友回覆:"So Jodi"，我因此想出了我的 “How Dottie is that?” 笑話。

Tip No. 157: Need new joke ideas? Be sensitive. If you’re uncomfortable with that word, use “irritable” (or grow up). A lot of good comedy comes from reaction to injustice or discomfort large and small, which requires being hypersensitive to those feelings.
需要新的笑話創意嗎？保持敏感。如果你對這個詞不滿意，請使用“煩躁”(或成長)。 許多優秀喜劇源自於對不平等或不適的大大小小的反應，產生這些感覺都需要保持敏感。

Tip No. 217: “All art is autobiographical. The pearl is the oyster’s autobiography.” — Federico Fellini. Purposefully mine your personal history for your act. Your life is a wellspring. Dig deep.
Federico Fellini說過:“所有藝術都是自傳。珍珠是牡蠣的自傳。”有目的得挖掘你的個人經歷，以作為你的演出。你的生活是靈感之源。請深入挖掘。

Tip No. 241: Many of your favorite writers include the same themes/subjects/objects/interests repeatedly in their work. Don’t be afraid to return again and again to your passions and obsessions to explore and expound.
你最愛的許多作家，都會在他們的作品裡重複探討相同的主題/目標/對象/興趣。不要害怕在你的熱情和沉迷之處，一次又一次得重複探索和闡述。

Tip No. 285: Explore unusual angles in a joke. Example: Examine things from the POV of a child or an Expert. My man Jimmy P and I still laugh over his “Martian response to high school football practice: Why are the hard-heads (players) taking orders from the small soft-heads (coach)?”
在笑話中探索不尋常的觀點。例如：從孩子或專家的視角觀看事物。我和我的兄弟Jimmy P仍會為他的笑話大笑:“火星人對高中足球訓練的反應：為什麼硬頭(球員)會從小型軟頭(教練)那裡得到命令？”

Tip No. 297: One of the miracles of comedy is that you can get redemption for suffering, small and large, by making something funny with it. When you are ready, try to write something funny about your mistakes, setbacks, or even tragedies.
喜劇的奇蹟之一是，藉由使事情變得有趣，你可以從大大小小的苦難中得到救贖。 當你準備就緒時，請嘗試寫一些有關你的錯誤、挫折甚至悲劇的有趣訊息。

Tip No. 298: Skim your life for the unusual events and activities that you can’t believe you were a part of or that people can’t believe you were a part of. Then write about it! Back row No. 93 MULLET:
No. 93後衛MULLET: “瀏覽你一生經歷過的、你或別人不敢相信你參與其中的奇特事件和活動。然後把它寫下來吧!“

Tip No. 310: When it comes to solving the puzzles that are our jokes, draw on every area of knowledge, expertise, and talent. It’s so gratifying to use a fact, a lesson, or a memory from elementary school, high school, or elsewhere to fill in the joke.
在解決我們玩笑的難關時，請利用各個領域的常識、專業知識和才能。用小學、高中或其他地方的事實、課業或回憶來充實笑話，會非常令人滿足。

Tip No. 311: Some of your best ideas will come to you in the shower. There’s science behind why it happens. Get a shower notepad if you have trouble remembering your ideas. Don’t listen to music. Listen to your thoughts. Ruminate on tonight’s set or a new joke.
洗澡時，你可能想到一些最好的點子。這現象的發生原因有科學依據。如果你難以記住自己的想法，請準備淋浴記事本。不要聽音樂。聽你的想法。用今晚的場景或一個新的笑話來反思。

Tip No. 313: Try teaching or informing the audience about something through some of your jokes. We love to learn while being entertained and vice versa. You have knowledge? Put it in your act! Just make sure it’s funny.
試試看通過講笑話來教導或告知聽眾新知識吧。我們喜歡在娛樂的同時學習，反之亦然。你有新知識嗎？把它放在你的演出！只要確保它很有趣就行。

Tip No. 327: Going home for Thanksgiving? Take copious notes! Your family is unique. Being reminded of the dynamics and adding new memories will be great resources for your act. “Family isn’t a word. It’s a sentence.”
逢年過節你會回家和家人團聚嗎？做大量筆記！你的家人是獨一無二的。記住動態場景並添加新的記憶，這會是你表演的寶貴資源。“家庭不是一個詞。 而是一個句子。”

Tip No. 331: There are great stories from our lives that we’re not able to translate into stand-up. Don’t throw them out. Collect those stories in a file for radio and TV and other interview situations.
我們生活中有許多很棒的故事，但我們無法將其轉化為脫口秀。可是不要把它們丟掉。要將這些故事收集在資料夾裡，以後在進行廣播和電視或採訪時可能用的到。

Tip No. 340: Volunteer! Especially if you don’t have a day job. There are so many opportunities to help. You will do good and have something new to write about. In NYC we have New York Cares. One year we decorated an elementary school for Halloween.
如果你沒有正職工作，當志工吧！你會有很多機會能幫助別人。你會做得很好，並有新的事情能寫。在紐約，我們設有紐約關懷中心。今年我們為萬聖節裝飾了一所小學。

Tip No. 358: I have recently started audio recording all notes sessions (for projects), and next time I pitch jokes with a friend I will record that too. It’s very helpful. You will be surprised at what you forgot when you listen back. Ask permission first.
我最近開始錄製所有筆記會話(用於專案)的錄音檔，並且下次我與朋友開玩笑時，我也會錄音。這非常有幫助。當你回聽時，你會驚訝於你忘記了什麼。但錄音前請先徵得許可。

Tip No. 360: Spending holidays with kids? Pay attention to them. Listen to them. Take note and embrace their curiosity and enthusiasm within your writing. (Also avoid the “kids these days” writing. It’s lazy.) Merry Christmas from your second favorite long-haired Jew.
和孩子一起度假嗎？注意觀察他們。聽他們說話。寫下你觀察到的東西並注意，並在寫作中懷抱孩子們的好奇心和熱情。(不要流水帳的寫“現在的小屁孩都如何如何”。這很懶。)你第二喜歡的長髮猶太叔叔在此祝你聖誕快樂(註，原作Gary是猶太人)。

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腳本：
上個月我拍一集說 Last month I film this video 我錯了！ I was wrong! 恐慌不好,沒有錯 Panic is not good, true 但是 but 防疫不夠更糟糕！ Not enough prevention is worst! 糟糕到引發 Worst till the point to lead us to 西班牙末日！ The end of Spain! 世界末日 The end of the world 你準備好嗎 Are you ready? 還好，我已經有口罩 Okay, I already have masks 感謝我的朋友 Thanks to my friends 因為你們本來把口罩搶走 Because you took all masks away 搶光光 All of them  COW杯 cow-bei 看來 It seems 疫情很嚴重 The epidemic is serious 靠腰，陰屍路到了 It's "the walking dead " 在這部影片 In this video  我沒有辦法說這句話 I can not say this 因為YouTube 不會讓我賺錢喔 Because YouTube won't make me money 謝謝YouTube  Thanks to YouTube  COW杯 Cowbei 這次我要拍 This video  像一些人的 Like some guy's 比較短的影片 It's short 重點是 The point is 西班牙 Spain 我以前的國家 My previous country 輸給臺灣 Lose to taiwan 西班牙輸了 Spain lost 臺灣 Taiwan 幹得好 Well done  對，沒錯 Yes yes 親愛的朋友 My dear friends  西班牙很糟糕 Spain is bad 臺灣做得非常好 Taiwan is doing very well 我口乾有一點渴 My mouth is a little thirsty 爽 Cool 這個故事告訴我們什麼？ What did this story say? 在這樣 In  世界末日 The end of the world  的情況下 In this situation 恐慌 Panic 有幫助 Works 不要誤會啦 Don't get me wrong 我覺得恐慌是不好的 I think panic is bad 但是在這種情況下 But in this situation  如果你要選 If you need to choose 過度 Over  或是不足 Or insufficient 過度比較好 Over is better 什麼意思？ What dose that mean? 臺灣從一開始 Taiwan from the beginning 好熱 So hot 臺灣人就恐慌了 Taiwanese panic 搶口罩 Grab mask 引發我買不到 So me can't buy any 咳咳 (Coughing) 不是不是 No, no 是我暗示你們很cow杯 I hint you guys are very cow-bei 從一開始 At the first time  臺灣人一直在噴酒精 Taiwanese have been spraying alcohol 但是西班牙人 But the spanish 已經有很多人得病 Already many people got sick 還會去參加很多人的活動 And go to lot of people's events 引發連政治人物 Even politicians 都生病了 Are sick  都得了 They got it 不過西班牙人跟臺灣人 But the Spaniards and Taiwanese 有兩件事做得一模一樣 Two things are done exactly the same 一，政治人物用這個 First, politicians use this 來攻擊彼此 To attack each other 來互罵 Come scolding each other 都是蔡英文的假新聞 It's all fake news from Cai Yingwen 這個是國民黨扯後腿 This is the KMT pulling hind legs 對，西班牙更嚴重 Yes, Spain is worse  真的很cow杯 It's really bad 第二件事 Second 是在這個情況之下 Is in this situation 大家 People  愛 Love 搶衛生紙 Grabbing toilet paper 在臺灣 in Taiwan 民眾狂搶衛生紙 People fight for toilet paper 因為謠言指出 Because rumors point out 衛生紙與醫療口罩原料相同 Toilet paper is the same as medical mask 可能會影響衛生紙產量與價格 May affect tissue production and prices 歐伊系 Yummy 這個算是美食節目嗎？ Is this a food show? 趕快按讚啦 Hurry up and like 百萬YouTuber YouTuber with more than one Million subs 為什麼 why 大家 everyone 愛搶衛生紙？ Love fight for toilet paper? 有人可以幫我解釋嗎？ Can someone explain it for me? 沒有你、沒有你、沒有你 Without you, without you, without you 不能沒有你 Can't live without you 寶貝、寶貝！ Baby Baby! 這樣 is because 比較安全嗎？ Is it safer? 要不要這樣出門？ Should I to go out like this? 也不錯 Not bad 我要告訴你們一個秘密 I want to tell you a secret 今年的新希望 My new goal for this year was 是申請臺灣國籍 Apply for Taiwan nacionality 本來想要回去西班牙辦這件事 I wanted to go back to Spain to do this 現在我不知道什麼時候可以回去 Now i don't know when i can go back 但是有一件事 But one thing 很清楚 is very clear 無論如何 no matter how 我一定 I must 要變成臺灣人 To become Taiwanese 小英，妳聽到嗎？ Little Tsai, do you hear me? 拜託妳 Please 沒問題 no problem 哦給 OK 謝啦 Thanks 因為臺灣表現得很好 Because Taiwan is doing very well 我已經在做這件T恤 I am already making this t-shirt 你們可以告訴大家 You can tell everyone 臺灣安全 Taiwan is safe 你們不是從武漢來的 You are not from Wuhan 為臺灣驕傲 Proud of taiwan 這個就是 This is 靠，我愛台灣 的意思 The meaning of Damn I Love Taiwan 現在懂嗎？ Do you understand now? 不過，要繼續加油 But needs keep fighting 西班牙更加油 Spain need it even more 親愛的家人 Dear family 親愛的朋友 Dear friends 拜託 Please 保持安全 stay safe 不要出門 Don't go out 常常洗手 Wash hands often 吃健康 Eat healthy 多休息 Rest more 常常運動 Exercise often 這個是COW杯 This is Cowbei 我是黑素斯 I´m Jesus 掰 Bye 欸？靠T恤我忘記匯款 Eh? I forgot to do transfer for T-shirt 等我一下 wait for me 掰 bye 我一定 I must 要變成臺灣人 To become Taiwanese 黑素斯沒問題 Jesus, no problem

哪天在國外要去銀行辦事情就不用怕用英文對話囉！如果剛好行員又是你的菜的話，有沒有？
阿滴英文《六週年特刊》蝦皮預購中：https://bit.ly/35cMIsI
本次也特別開放「單次購」寄往海外：https://bit.ly/3kPVeTZ

影片重點整理：

1. Open a bank account.
（開立新帳戶）

2. Make a transaction.
（匯款）

3. Withdraw some money.
（領錢）

4. Make a deposit.
（存款）

5. Get a credit card.
（申辦信用卡）

6. Deposit a check.
（兌換支票）

7. Apply for a personal loan.
（申請信用貸款）

8. I lost my debit card.
（我的金融卡不見了）

9. I forgot my PIN number.
（我忘記卡片密碼了）

10. What is the exchange rate?
（匯率是多少？）

10句常用英文節目播放清單：https://goo.gl/mBYyQd
每週一四晚上9點更新，請記得開啟YouTube🔔通知！

上一部影片 嚇死哥哥了! 阿滴第一次看滴妹MV的反應是...?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CpPbXm4KMvw
下一部影片 熊還可以這樣用! Bear 原來有這個意思!【2分鐘英語教室】https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhiQzqQ5dY8

阿滴英文的人氣影片：

■ 最有效背英文單字方法 https://youtu.be/gkVpNq4-wqs

■ 挑戰誰能先讓老師說出ＸＸＸ! https://youtu.be/-wuBXIclVUo

■ 這些常唸錯的品牌到底怎麼發音? https://youtu.be/8-kgAqtuqNM

■ 三個訣竅講出流利英文 https://youtu.be/6JeTQb3YKYY

■ 這群人超瞎翻唱翻譯解析 https://youtu.be/uT4V2fbWFC4

■ 英雄聯盟打LoL必懂單字 https://youtu.be/VG_njlfMXhk

■ 挑戰15分鐘完成學測考題 https://youtu.be/l95ey_v5XTg

■ 阿滴滴妹參賽世大運 https://youtu.be/JHDF-SFvLFQ

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