今天還讀到了一個民國作家郁達夫的情書，果然也是情感豐沛，不愧風流才子之名。但看了他的戀愛故事，還是覺得真的母湯，沒辦法列入理想情人候選人。
　
不過情人節都要過了，大家該慶祝的都慶祝完了，該詛咒的也都詛咒完了，可以來看看郁先生與他夢中情人的故事了。
　
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「郁達夫是民國時期有名的風流才子，一生頗具傳奇色彩。人們除了對他的文學作品耳熟能詳之外，對他的感情生活也同樣津津樂道：郁達夫早年在小學堂時，就與鄰家少女有了一段『水樣的春愁』般的初戀，後來留學日本十年，也曾與多位日本女子相戀。1917年，在回國省親期間，郁達夫奉母命，與同鄉女子孫荃結婚。後來為了追求王映霞，與孫荃離婚。
　
郁達夫最廣為人知的一段感情，就是與號稱『杭州第一美人』王映霞的結合。1927年，郁達夫在朋友處邂逅了王映霞，對其一見鍾情，從此迷戀不可自拔。郁達夫不顧外界輿論的非議，不惜拋妻棄子，捨棄一切名譽，不顧一切地瘋狂追求王映霞。在多次追求受挫後，終於成功抱得美人歸，於1928年與王映霞結為夫妻。在追求王映霞的過程中，郁達夫寫下了大量情書，還出版了自己與王映霞的戀愛日記(《日記九種》)，都是極富名氣的作品。
　
但是這段感情並沒有地久天長，1936年，王映霞與江省教育廳廳長許紹棣關係暖味，被郁達夫發覺，兩人關係變得極為緊張，郁達夫負氣寫作並發表了《毀家詩紀》，指責王映霞紅杏出牆。《毁家詩紀》導致兩人關係徹底破裂，不久離婚。」
　
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王女士：

在客裡的幾次見面，就這樣的別去，太覺得傷心。

你去上海之先，本打算無論如何，和你再會談一次的，可是都被你拒絕了，連回信也不給我一封。

這半個月來的我的心境，荒廢得很，連夜的失眠，也不知是為了何事。

你幾時到上海來，千萬請你先通知我，我一定到車站上去接你。 有許多中傷我的話，大約你總不至于相信他們罷！

聽說你對苕溪君的婚約將成，我也不願意打散這件喜事，可是王女士，人生只有一次的婚姻，結婚與情愛，有微妙的關係，你但須想想你當結婚年餘之後，就不得不日日作家庭的主婦，或抱了小孩， 胸哺乳等情形，我想你必能決定你現在所應走的路。

你情願做一個家庭的奴隸嗎？你還是情願做一個自由的女王？你的生活，盡可以獨立，你的自由，決不應該就這樣的輕輕拋去。

我對你的要求，希望你給我一個「是」或「否」的回答。

我在這裡等你的回信。

上海閘北寶山路三德里A十一號 達夫 十二月廿五日
　
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映霞君：

十日早晨發了一封信，你在十日晚上就來了回信。但我在十日午後，又發一封信，不曉得你也接到了沒有？我只希望你於接到十日午後的那封信後，能夠不要那麼地狠心拒絕我。

我現在正在計畫去歐洲，這是的確的。但我的計劃之中，本有你在内，想和你兩人同去歐洲留學的。現在事情已經弄得這樣，我真不知道如何是好。

我接到了你的回信之後，真不明了你的真意。我從沒有過現在這樣的經驗，這一次我對於你的心情，只有上天知道，並沒有半點不純的意思存在在中間。人家雖則在你面前說我的壞話，但我個人，至少是很 sincere 的，我簡直可以為你而死⋯⋯
　
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映霞君：

⋯⋯我對你完全是一種 Pure， pure affection， and strong enough to be everlasting，絕不是一時的 flirtation。這一點請你信用我，我是不撒謊的。

我平生做事情，都是光明正大的，因為這一個原因，倒經了許多失敗。這一回我也在怕，怕因為我太 Frank 的原因，致受你的 Despise。王女士，我前回已經說過了，說過我這一回的心事了，「我從來沒有這樣的 sincerely love 過人。」

從明天起，我想開始工作了，我想實行你所吩咐我的話了。不過我覺得還不能捉摸到一點 reality，總還缺少一點味之不盡的回憶。在這一個中間，我總還在希望你能夠答應我一個相見的機會，賜我一個 interview，三分鐘也好，五分鐘也好。

今天下了一天的雨，所以在屋裡坐了一天。昨天晚上上伯剛裡去了一趟，他們都在笑我的痴笨。我也告訴了他們，說：「你已經很正當地拒絕了。」可是可是，這一句笑話，我總希望不至於實現。 末了我還想你給我一張你的相片，你肯不肯？

達夫上 二月十五的晚上

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( 圖為郁達夫與王映霞合照 )

☞ 徐志摩等著 ，《民國最美的情書 》，千華駐科技，2019。

#最後一段是怎麼回事 #說書 #SoBooks_StoryStudio_tw

《互相尊重的認知》
Understanding Mutual Respect (English version below)

吾有兩位女學生，犯了佛教的「不飲酒」戒。

一位30歲左右的，說是公司聚會，上司一直叫她喝，不好拒絕。吾弟子問她，明明是白領佳人，難不成還得兼職「陪酒小姐」？

這位學生，也因爲飲酒，而多次欺騙老公與公婆，說是在公司加班。

另一位學生是位中年婦女。她受老闆之託，旅行回國時幫老闆買酒。她也說，不懂得如何拒絕老闆。

這位中年婦女與吾皈依同一位根本上師，當代法王蓮生活佛，卻藐視根本上師的教義，忤逆吾的教誨。她從不好好閱讀根本上師的文集與開示，一直祇求吾以風水八字來解決她家人的問題，治標不治本。

因此，她忽略了師佛近期的開示：「拿酒給人喝，犯了不飲酒戒，五百世沒有手。」

（如蚯蚓等動物。）

這兩位學生，同樣的都沒告訴老闆她們的戒律。

妳自己都不尊敬妳的信仰，不會有人尊重妳的信仰。

如果妳不開妳的金口，介紹妳信仰的戒律給他人，他人又怎麼知道妳有這條戒律呢？

如果說出來了，他自然不會叫妳買酒或帶妳去喝酒。

自己要先有守戒的精神。如果妳沒有，妳一定也是爲了不好意思或怕炒魷魚，就這樣犯戒。

這個世界上不是只有一份工作可以做。

如果妳明知故犯，折了這個福，妳認為妳未來還會有好的發展嗎？

我們所要的一切都是建立在德。

天，因爲有德，所以常覆，地有德，所以常載，日月星有德，所以常照。

人要有德，才能夠常順、常旺、常樂。

妳不能說妳怕拒絕，以免什麼會發生在妳身上。東家不打打西家，人要有志氣，要有守戒的精神，才會得善神的擁護。

妳自己都不尊重妳的信仰，試問人家怎麼會尊重妳的信仰呢？他看妳也不過是那種人，可能暗地裡還瞧不起妳，覺得妳外表說妳已皈依，原來妳根本沒有皈依，還是犯戒。

千萬不要這樣做。

做爲一個老闆，一個上司，必須要以德服人。下屬因爲是你的員工，她當然不敢得罪你，冒犯你，因爲她需要這個薪水來養家或過活。就算她爲了順從你，而犯戒，你在她心中的形象一定大打折扣。如果有一天，她有了另外一份工作邀約，她一定不考慮就走，因爲她覺得你是一個敗德的上司，不值得她忠心。

如果她留下來，那必定只有一個原因，因爲她也敗德。敗德的上司 + 敗德的下屬，能做出什麼好成績來？

學佛人，得懂得匡正自己，也匡正別人，所以必須得解釋給妳老闆，或任何不明白的人，妳你爲何會拒絕他做某樣事情，尤其是買賣酒、買賣煙、買賣色情刊物等等。

大家要明白什麼叫戒律，戒律不是有宗教信仰的人，才要守的律法。戒律是一個正人君子的準則，是止惡揚善的基礎，根本沒有分誰應該守。

只要是人，都必須守。走在正道上，沒有過失下，才不會損失我們的福德。

那位中年婦女的老闆，「勸」吾的學生不必執著戒律，佛陀不是說斷執著嗎？

沒有皈依學佛的，千萬不要不懂裝懂，以免斷人慧命，造了殺生業。

佛陀涅槃時，阿難問佛：「佛在世時，我們以佛為師，佛滅度後大眾以何為師呢？」

佛言：「以戒為師。」

喝酒，會亂人本性，生出無量的過失，如酒後駕駛、醉酒打人、儀態盡失、胡言亂語、淫慾熾盛、惡人相近等等。

一位老客人，七旬老翁，生性節儉。一家大小雖是佛教徒，老翁卻酗酒成性。長子乃吾弟子，之前爲了迎合父親要求，常買酒「供養」他。

後來，媳婦（也是吾弟子也）顧及老翁的健康和戒律，阻止先生助紂為虐，也勸其家婆、小姑和弟弟不要買酒，卻惹來老翁辱罵長子：「沒有用！」

事隔數年，老翁喝壞了身體，今年年中入院開刀。吾於心不忍，以玄學來幫助這位老客人能早日康復。

喝酒的人愚癡，送酒的人愚孝。

吾，玳瑚師父，滴酒不沾，任何有酒精的食物，吾也不食。不飲酒者，有何果報？

意念清明，智慧超群，不會精神分裂、不會神智恍惚、不會胡思亂想，更不會被迷惑。

⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯

2 of my female students flouted the Buddhism precept of abstinence from alcohol.

One of them, in her early 30s, told me that it was a company gathering, and her supervisor egged her to drink. She could not refuse. My disciple asked her, isn't it absurd that as a white-collared employee, she has to "part-time" as a drinking hostess?

This student of mine also lied to her husband and parents-in-laws numerous times, that she was working overtime when, in fact, she was out drinking.

Another student of mine is a middle-aged lady, who was requested by her superior to buy duty-free alcohol on her return from travelling. She also told me that she did not know how to say no to her boss.

This lady, like me, took refuge under the same Root Guru, Living Buddha Lian Sheng. However, she blantantly ignored His Teachings and my reminders. She did not diligently read the Dharma books and discourses from our Root Guru Master, yet always sought my help in Feng Shui and Bazi to solve her family woes. This is not solving the root causes at all.

Hence, she missed out on a recent Dharma discourse by our Root Guru: If you give alcohol to others, you are breaking the precept of abstinence from alcohol, and the consequence is 500 rebirths without limbs.

(Eg. like a millipede)

These 2 students did not tell their superiors of their precepts.

If you do not respect your own faith, nobody will give your faith the due respect too.

If you don't break your silence and let others know about the precepts in your religion, how would others know about your precept on abstinence from alcohol?

If you voice it out, naturally your superior will not ask you to buy alcohol nor bring you along for drinking sessions.

You must first have the spirit to uphold the precepts, lacking which you will be easily swayed by situations such as embarrassment or fear of losing your job, and eventually flouting the precepts.

There is more than one job for you in this world.

If you flout the precepts intentionally, and lose your merits, what good future do you think is left for you?

Our merit and virtues are the source of all that we desire.

The Heavens and Earth have virtues , therefore can encompass all. The Sun, moon and the stars have virtues, hence their never ending radiance.

Man must have virtues, in order to enjoy peace, prosperity and bliss.

You cannot give the excuse that you fear the consequence of saying no. There is always another job out there. A person must have higher aspirations, and the willpower to observe the precepts in order to be blessed by the virtuous gods.

If you do not respect your own faith, how would another person respect it? He will not be impressed, and may even secretly despise you for being a hypocrite in taking refuge, as you are not steadfast in upholding your precepts.

Do not ever do this.

As a boss, as a superior, you must command the respect of your subordinates with your merits and virtues. It is natural that your subordinate will not dare to offend you because she needs the job and salary to make a living or feed their families.

Even if she follow your instructions, at the expense of flouting her precepts, deep in her heart, she will think lesser of you. If one day she receives another job offer, she will not hesitate to leave you because she feel that you are lacking in virtues and unworthy of her loyalty.

If she stays on, then it must be for the reason that she too is lacking in virtues. A non-virtuous superior + a non-virtuous employee, what good result can they produce?

A practicing Buddhist must learn to correct oneself, and others. Therefore, you need to explain to you boss, or any other people who do not understand your rationale, why you refuse to help him/her in certain things such as buying alcohol, cigarettes, R-rated publications, etc.

Everyone must understand what exactly precepts are. It is not applicable solely to people with a religious faith. Precepts are the cornerstone of a upright and righteous human being. They are the foundation of spreading goodness and curbing the non-virtuous in us, and applicable to every one of us

As long as you are human, you should observe the precepts. Walking on the right path, and not committing any sin, will ensure that our merits are not taken away.

The boss of my middle-aged student "advised" her not to be too attached to the precepts. Didn't Buddha proclaim non-attachment? So said the boss.

If one has not taken refuge and properly learn the Dharma, please do not behave like a know-it-all and dish out irresponsible "advice" to others. This grave act of recklessness may destroy the life of wisdom in the listener, akin to the act of killing.

When Lord Buddha was about to enter Nirvana, his disciple, Ananda, asked, "When the Buddha is in this world, He is revered as our Teacher. But when the Buddha enters Nirvana, who should we follow as our Teacher?"

Buddha expounded: "I have already given you the precepts. The precepts are your teacher".

Drinking alcohol will create chaos to the human nature, and countless sins arise, such as drunk driving, drunk fighting, loss of etiquette, blabbering of nonsense, sexual indecency, attracting bad company, etc.

An old client of mine, in his 70s, lives frugally. Together with his wife and children, they are Buddhists. However, the elderly man is an alcoholic.

His eldest son is my disciple. Previously, to make his father happy, he would buy him liquor and beer whenever the elderly man asks for it.

Subsequently, his wife (also my disciple) prevented him from buying alcohol, out of consideration for the elderly man's health and their precepts. They also told the mother and younger siblings to refrain from buying.

However, all the eldest son got was a bellow of "Useless son!" from the elderly man.

A few years later, alcoholism took a toil on the old man and he was warded for an operation in the middle of this year.

I pitied him and helped him towards a smoother recovery with my Metaphysics abilities.

Deluded is the man who drinks.

Ignorant is the filial piety of the children who feed his alcoholism.

I have abstained from intoxicants for over a decade, and neither do I consume food with alcohol in it.

What are the merits from such abstinence?

Beside mental clarity and supreme wisdom, one will not be stricken with schizophrenia, mental disarray, mental disturbance and fall prey to temptations.