从老公的角度看试管婴儿疗程

当一对夫妻要做 #IVF试管疗程时，做丈夫的应该用什么态度来面对？常常有网友告诉我说，我的老公精子不好，可是他还是不能戒烟戒酒，好不配合。要知道，不孕症不只是女人的责任，男人也是有责任。这篇文章，是以男人的角度出发，里面分享身为丈夫应该如何帮助太太一起度过疗程，文章是英文内容，是奥莉爸爸写的，奥莉爸不会中文。分享给大家😊

IVF Journey, A Husband’s Perspective

Hi all, before reading further I would like to say this is NOT an instruction or tips for IVF and hopefully readers will understand my poorly written English. This is my journey as a father of the IVF baby girl. Why am I sharing all this? It is because my wife had a Facebook page of her IVF journey at https://facebook.com/ivfjourney2015/ and she told me that majorities (not all but most) feedback indicate husband not supportive enough to commit into a journey of IVF. I’m not a true supportive husband either, least I made up my mind to make it happen.

Let’s start with “Why IVF?”
We went for a fertilization test and results with;
Husband: Teratospermia (Human language, sperm is weak for fertilization process)
Wife: Unexplained infertility (I think this is easy to understand, there is for the confirming reason for this result and we don’t go for further test after it because it will consumes too much time and money)

We married and planned to have children late 2011, both our ages were 37 in 2015 because of late marriage. My wife introduced IVF because she does not want to give up and feels regretful in future and so do I. Maybe because I did too many regretful things in the past, now I do not want this happened to my wife. At least I do it better then ignoring it.

Preparation for IVF
Financially, I know it will involve amount of 20k – 30k “Ringgit Malaysia” in the whole process depending on the situation and this is only one chance for me. I don’t have the money for a second attempt because I need to allocate funds for delivery if success.

Mentally, I do some studies/research on IVF. The whole journey took 50 days and in one of the process my wife needs to do a self-injection daily. I quickly asked my wife “Daily injection?! Do I need to fetch you to clinic daily to do this?” She answered “No, we need to do this ourselves”. A final question from me going to be “How?!” After we sat down and discuss, we comes into conclusion and I will do the injection for her. This was the most painful and nervous moment I ever experience by poking a needle to my wife’s belly EVERYDAY!

Lifestyle, 6 months earlier. My wife told me the NO’s, NO alcohol NO smoking NO midnight wandering NO stress. I said, I will fly up to the skies like butterfly if I able to do all the NO’s. It’s like a mission impossible. How can a man like me not go out to social with friends without alcohol and smoke? The joke was sleeping early! You want me to social with my friends in breakfast or lunch time? At this time, she softly said “I really wants to have a cute baby in future, it looks more like a family. Furthermore, I don’t want to have regretful moments in future”. All these words came out of my love (wife), her words melted in my heart deeply. I told her “Ok, we will go for it BUT you will need to promise me ONE IMPORTANT thing. No matter the process success or not we only have one attempt we need to accept the truth and live happily without regret in future.” she agreed.

Commitment, this is not some empty promise. I made a huge commitment to change my lifestyle into zero alcohol, tobacco and lesser stress. If comparing the pain and suffers my wife will take in this journey e.g., injection, medication effects, hormone changes and all the effects from pregnancies to delivery, mine looks more alike small potatoes (looks much more simple). Trust me guys, don't compare it, if you do and more likely you're going loose badly. For the sake of making a better future, I had fulfilled this commitment.

IVF Journey Phase 1 “Unskilled Husband Injection”
Day 1, doctor consults us for Buserelin injection. I need to inject this medication into my wife's belly each day sharp at 8AM. The nurse had guided me side by side to do the first injection.
Day 2, I started my first injection to my wife's belly without anyone guiding beside. Feels a bit nervous because this time I'm doing it all by myself. I try to hum some music to distract my wife's from looking at the needle while injecting but still she is looking at it.
Day 3 - Day 15, sometime the injection hurting and causes bleeding/bruise to her. I need to find a new spot to inject every time and sees her bruise makes my pain in the heart too. My injection skills improved dramatically. She even told me that she doesn't feel pain like the beginning stages.
Day 16, follow up 2nd checkup. Doctor said, everything goes smoothly and added another medication to inject called Gonal-F to take home and start injecting on day 23. This message never surprises me because I've been told earlier, but just that the price to pay for this medication is quite costly.
Day 17 - Day 22, nothing much on these days and we just stick on the plan as usual.

IVF Journey Phase 2 “Stressful Night”
Day 23, Gonal F injections start today. This needle doesn't look same as those earlier, it comes with medication in it and look like a pen.
Day 24 - Day 26, side effects of the Gonal F medications started. My wife is feeling irritation at the injection site, fullness, bloating and tenderness in the lower abdomen due to the increasing size of the ovaries. Her mood changes dramatically as I can tell, but she endures it and tell me she can handle it.
Day 27, follow up 3rd checkup. Doctor said wife has eggs total of 12 and is ready for Transvaginal oocyte retrieval "Human language, Egg retrieval" at day 31.
Day 28 - Day 29, final injection of Gonal F. At day 29 night, I inject Ovidrel to wife belly to that causes the growth and release of a mature egg (ovulation) for day 31.
Day 30, resting whole day. Finally, we had a day without injection and worrying about holding any needles. Today we wondering about the egg growth, not knowing will the eggs grow more or still the same amount of 12.
Day 31, egg retrieval. 8 egg success retrieves and I give out my sperm for oocytes selection on the same day. Wife given cyclogest for oval protection after the egg retrieval.

IVF Journey Phase 3 “Hopeful Embryo Culture & Embryo Transfer”
Day 32 - Day 35, rest at home. We had pillow talk every night concerning about the growth of an embryo. We also look at sample growth stages of an embryo from the web to see what the current growth stage is.
Day 36, another hopeful and nervous morning. Doctor tells us the result of embryo culture as below;
Total Embryo Retrieve: 8
Embryo Qualified for ICSI: 6
Embryo Success until Cleavage Stage (Day 2 – Day 4): 3
Embryo Success until Blastocyst Stage (Day 5): 2
Embryo Qualified / Recommended for Transfer: 1
Both our eyes looked at each other, knowing only 1 Blastocyst Embryo available to transfer and doctor tell the same after it. I really do not know how to express both our feelings into words here, as we expected to have at least 2 Blastocyst out of 8 embryos and only left 1. We both agreed to proceed this only 1 Blastocyst transfer as this is the only choice we had. It's more likely walking on a 100ft tall string with no supports mission, a single error will fail the mission.
After the transfer process, wife given a room to rest for few hours. A nurse came and give us adjunctive medications, injections and advice while resting at room.

IVF Journey Phase 4 “The Final Moment of IVF”
Day 37 - Day 49, after the transfer. This period is known as 2WW (2 Weeks Wait) with adjunctive medications, injections and be very careful. I just let her sleep/rest more on the bed, I served her every meal in the room. We're also nervous and curious about pregnancy results on day 44, we tested with cheap pregnancy tester and get got a double line on it and we do have a little hope and joy with this result. On day 47, again we test, but this time with expensive pregnancy tester and the results double line again! We're so hopeful and happy at this moment. We really hope this result is true until the next checkup.
Day 50, final checkup. My wife goes for the hCG test by giving a sample of blood, we waited 2 hours for the results. While waiting, nurse guide us to a room to rest. Wife slept and I sat beside concerned on the hCG test results. 2 hours later, the doctor invited us to look for him. Before doctor speaks, while we are sitting down, my wife's eyes were starring in the hCG results number and she spotted the hCG number is 452. She smiles happily while doctor tells her "You are pregnant and congratulations! Come back after 2 weeks to scan for baby heartbeats. And please go out to the counter and ring the bell!”

Just Sharing My Thoughts
By all means, I’m not bragging about my success. I would like to say if anyone is planning on IVF, teamwork is very important and husband play a very important role to increase the success rate. Sometimes, I do feel like a spectator than a participant myself because I never experience any of the medical exams but this is not true. Every injection I put on her belly, I feel the pain in my heart as bad as she has on the belly. Ok, nothing much to share in this IVF journey and next time I might be sharing another journey as a Father! Here is my little baby girl Facebook page奥莉 Olivia Baby - 梁童心心 https://fb.me/oliviababylove if you wish to see her growth updates.

End.

#ivf #ivfmalaysia #ivfjourney #baby #alphafertility

貝貝自傳之 成長篇

我是Lydia，在香港出生和長大，有一個妹妹。從小，父母就為我提供最好的學習環境，把我送到國際學校讀小學，由於國際學校以英語教學，所以不論在學校學習、和同學聊天或者在家裏跟父母交談，我都只說英語，於是家人為我聘請補習老師惡補中文，可是沒多大作用。當時媽媽覺得中文很重要，因此在國際學校讀了一年後，便決定為我轉校。
六歲時，我轉到瑪利曼小學就讀小學一年級。國際學校和本地學校的差異很大，在國際學校完全沒有功課，小朋友都在歡樂的環境中度過，但本地學校的教學方式，卻是每一科都有不少功課和測驗。
中三後我去了英國 Malvern College 讀書，那邊是讀 GCSE 課程，相等於香港中學會考。英國與香港的教育方式有很大分別，英國的考試難度真的跟香港無法比擬。我從沒有想過自己會考可以考取到五個A，這對我而言，無疑是一個很大的鼓勵，之後在倫敦大學修讀工啇管理。
我覺得自己很幸運，可以避開香港的中學會考。在香港讀書，考試不及格是家常便飯，但當自己長期考試成績差，便會對自己失去信心，而且對讀書產生討厭。雖然成績只是一個數字、一個字母，但它能夠讓你覺得自己不夠優越，打擊自信心。
每個人都有夢想，我當然有。從小到大，我想當模特兒，想跟她們一樣瘦、一樣美；也想跟電影裏的女明星一樣有好演技。
有一天，我終於下定決心跟家人說：「我想當一個演員，當一個全職藝人。」那一刻家人都覺得很意外，但對於我能夠清晰果斷地道出自己的夢想，她們是感動的，亦全力支持我在演藝圈工作。
在父母的祝福下，我對演藝工作更有信心更起勁，母親更主動地分享了她從前在娛樂圈累積的寶貴經驗，從前不愛聽意見的我，由於找到了自己喜愛的工作，不期然會變得勤力和乖巧。
我知道我的成長過程很舒適，一切都算順利，但獨立對我而言，並不是一件容易的事。香港生活環境和樓價實在太貴，賺錢難，又會入不敷支，相信自己要真正獨立還有一段距離。媽媽亦常常教導我，做人要「鍥而不捨，永不放棄」，而這八個字已成為我的座右銘。
I am Lydia. I was born and raised in Hong Kong. I have a younger sister. Since I was young, my parents provided the best learning environment for me. They sent me to an international primary school. As the medium of instruction for international schools is English, I spoke English while learning in school, chatting with friends and at home with my parents. Consequently, my parents hired a Chinese tutor to give me tuition in the respected language. In spite of that, it was not very effective. My mother, at the time, felt that Chinese was very important. Eventually, after a year of studies in the international school, she decided that I had to switch schools.
When I was six years old, I went to Marymount Primary School to attend primary one. The difference between international schools and local schools is immense. There is no homework in international schools. Children can pass the day immersed in fun. But there are lots of homework and examinations in local schools.
After Form 3, I attended Malvern College in the UK. I took GCSE courses. They equate to the public examinations in Hong Kong. The teaching approach in the UK and Hong Kong is very different. The level of difficulty when it comes to examinations in the UK cannot be compared to those of Hong Kong. I never thought I could get 5As for my GCSEs. In my opinion, it is very encouraging. I later graduated from Business Management from the University of London.
I feel I am very fortunate because I do not need to sit the Hong Kong public examinations. It is a dime in a dozen to fail the Hong Kong public examinations. But when your grades are chronically subpar, you will lose confidence in yourself. You will also begin to hate studying. Although grades are just numbers, they can enable you to feel inferior. It will defeat your self-confidence.
Everyone has a dream. I also have one too. Since I was young, I have wanted to become a model. I also wanted to be slim and beautiful like them. I also wanted to be like female movie stars with good acting skills.
One day, I finally made the decision to tell my family: ‘I want to become an actress. A full-time artist.’ At that moment, my family was quite shocked. But the fact that I can tell them my dream clearly touched them greatly. They fully supported my work in the entertainment industry.
With the blessings from my parents, I became more confident and motivated in my work. My mother shared with me her precious experience regarding, her days in the entertainment industry once upon a time. I used to dislike listening to others’ opinion. But because I have found the line of the work that I enjoy, I subconsciously became more hardworking and obedient.
I understand that my days of growing up are very comfortable. It is mostly smooth sails. But independence seems a far stretch away. The living environment and housing prices are too high as well as, costly in Hong Kong. It is hard to make money. The money you make cannot support your living. I believe that I cannot be fully independent soon. My mother often teach me that I should have ‘perseverance and never give up’. These words became my words to live by.

有苦自知

死亡廉价，生存昂贵...

近日来我国发生的一连串的枪击案，也引了我们的邻国新加坡的关注。当地一家名为The New Paper的英文报章，就用“Death is cheap , and staying alive costly”的大标题，来形容我国的枪击案事件，中文的意思就是“死亡廉价，生存昂贵”。

该报的副标题就提到，“只需要两千新币就能聘雇杀手”，另外还附上一张新加坡公民在我国遭枪伤的图片，图说还注明那名新加坡公民如今得花费3千200新币聘请私人保镖，保障自身安全。

新加坡的报章这样报道我国的枪击案件，马上让我们的全国总警长和副内政部长“跳脚”大喊beh tahan.... 双双炮轰这家媒体。

内政部副部长旺朱乃迪表示，最近发生的枪击事件大多数是属于黑帮内部私底下的斗争，并不是在公众场合公开=射击。他认为The New Paper的相关的报导内容，是空洞的，没有足够的事实支撑，只是流于片面的主观意见。他认为，有关报章应该事先向了解枪击案背后的主要原因。

至于全国总警长卡立就认为，有关报章的做法是一种“落井下石”的行为，而且可能还会导致新加坡人不敢进入我国。卡立表示，我国人民才是真正了解真实情况的人。