「關係是雙方的，學會觀察自己和對方的感受是改善關係的第一步」
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其實最近一直也和身邊一位朋友有些衝突，在我看來，
我覺得他不明白我，不體諒我直至有一次他在吵架的時候跟我說「你只想著自己」
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當時我突然腦內一篇空白，然後就想起輔導堂教的其中一個應對模式（#應對模式：面對矛盾時你的即時反應）
當時我就是用了其中一種 - 指責型，用手指指著對方，不顧及別人的感受只顧及自己的感受（#指責型的其中一種顯現便是#情緒勒索）
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要調節容易嗎？ 不容易。但知道了，#察覺了，是改變的第一步，尤其是在改變關係上，
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關係之所以令這麼多人感到沮喪，是因為你不是單單想著自己便行，你還要準確預測對方的感受
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這已是一種技能，用白話來說就是訓練出同理心
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我們都實在花太多時間想自己，想自己已經夠忙了，還有空想別人嗎？
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但， 關係就是雙方的，對方感受不到你明白他，你們的感情帳戶便不能正向累積
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明白不等於要認同別人的觀點，要學習同理心不容易，
但以下有5點可以做
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1. 觀察別人的感受
2. 觀察自己的感受
3. 告訴別人你的感受（別人可以不同意我的觀點， 但不能否定我的感受）
4. 詢問對方的感受 （我可以不同意別人的觀點， 但不能否定別人的感受）
5. 想出一個解決矛盾的方法
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這才是停止一次又一次重複的矛盾的唯一出路
大家有沒有想過，其實當我們回頭看每一次的矛盾時，才會赫然發覺矛盾的開端，中間和結尾也是出奇的一樣
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當我們把這些內容呈現在眼前，也許大家便會好像我被那位朋友話我的時候一樣，突然腦內一片空白
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原來事件不斷重複只是我沒有好好的從中學習
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所以，了解自己， 感受自己的感受
然後不帶指責的語氣告訴對方你的感受，對方不一定即時便明白你的感受，但我相信他起碼不會像是被你指責一樣那般的抗拒
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也許吵架過後他會開始明白你也有你的感受，也會放下一點，不會那麼情緒化的覺得你在針對他，指責他
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上次已和大家談了討好型應對模式（coping）
以上的就是另一種 - 指責型應對模式
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但不論你是討好型或是指責型，
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若你不勇敢正面地說出你的感受的話，就不要怪別人不懂你了。
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我們下次見
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讓我們一起學習正確與人建立關係的方法，一起建立一個美好的關係，立刻報讀#幸福人生人際關係篇👇
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#幸福人生人際關係篇
課程介紹
要在生活中每個範疇都能夠得到滿足，就需要認識自己及別人冰山表面以及冰山底層的需要，知道自己和別人的渴求，自然可以減少「衝突」及「矛盾」，才能為自己「累積」快樂。
在日常生活中，每天都需要接觸不同的人，面對不同的關係。跟據現代自我心理學之父阿德勒的著作──《自卑與超越》，人生所面臨的三大問題（職業問題、相互合作的問題、愛和婚姻的問題），都離不開與人合作的關係。
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【課程內容】
✅ 認識關係中最重要的元素
✅ 了解破壞關係的誤區
✅ 冰山理論：讓彼此可以「打開心窗」說亮話的方法
✅ 透過九型人格了解不同人格的深層渴望
✅ 有效溝通的第一步: 5 種「愛的語言」
✅ 找出自己和對方的深層需要和「愛的語言」的三大秘訣
✅ 學會持續累積愛的方法，走出「不是不想愛，而是不懂得去愛」的困局

立即報名：
https://www.mastermine.com.hk/clara/love/
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#勇敢 #coping #輔導學 #正向心理學 #關係 #矛盾與衝突 #關係心理學 #冰山理論 #輔導心理學 #討好型 #手寫文字 #正向心理學 #改變 #正面思考 #心理學 #個人成長 #成長 #學習 #進步 #夢想 #心態 #自我提升 #情緒 #人生語錄

Day 4 of #Alo4peace
Inversion❤️

要決定出發來到法國的時候，腦裡有各種的想法，好的不好的很多
大概跟著COVID一起糾結了如此的久😂
但後面發現糾結歸糾結，會發生的終究會發生

也很常問自己到底想要什麼。
答案也一直很明確
不想要日復一日過現在的生活

擁抱好的不好的，終究都是我自己的旅途🌟

International Challenge Announcement

#Alo4peace
Sept. 1-8

As the stress of everyday life creeps up on us and we feel like we are falling short despite our best efforts, it is time to recharge ourselves with some of the best coping tools provided by yoga.

Let's get into a restorative mode and unlock the stressors with some deep breathing in relaxation poses that take us closer towards finding inner peace.

Hosts :
@ghorpade.shweta
@amyharringtonyoga
@the_quiet_yogi
@yogastitva
@yogivesper
@fityogi_mom

Sponsors:
@aloyoga
@alomoves

Pose Line Up:

1. Slow down and take a deep breath In Pranayama

2. Anchor yourself in the present with a Grounding Pose

3. Find your center with a Balancing Pose

4. Change your perspective with an Inversion

Day 3 of #Alo4peace
Balancing pose❤️

Today I met a lot of new friends in school❤️ truly happy and grateful for this new adventure ☺️

Bon week-end❤️

International Challenge Announcement

#Alo4peace
Sept. 1-8

As the stress of everyday life creeps up on us and we feel like we are falling short despite our best efforts, it is time to recharge ourselves with some of the best coping tools provided by yoga.

Let's get into a restorative mode and unlock the stressors with some deep breathing in relaxation poses that take us closer towards finding inner peace.

Hosts :
@ghorpade.shweta
@amyharringtonyoga
@the_quiet_yogi
@yogastitva
@yogivesper
@fityogi_mom

Sponsors:
@aloyoga
@alomoves

Pose Line Up:

1. Slow down and take a deep breath In Pranayama

2. Anchor yourself in the present with a Grounding Pose

3. Find your center with a Balancing Pose

This week, The Thirsty Sisters are back with their thoughts on the recent Population Census 2020 survey, where it was reported for women to be more educated than their male counterparts! Why are people on Facebook angry about this increase? Are women really smarter than men? ? We got Sylvia and Nina to react to all these—tune in to hear all about it!

Link to The Straits Times article: https://str.sg/34Sk
Link to the Facebook post: https://www.facebook.com/129011692114/posts/10157967528802115/?d=n

00:00 Intro
01:39 Topic of the day
03:18 Key statistics from the article
04:23 'Its a women problem'
06:27 Why we are having less children
11:00 How women balance work and family
13:30 Coping with your own and your child's issues
15:19 Are we ready to have children?
18:32 The new vs old mindset on single parenthood
21:34 Supporting women regardless of their decisions
22:50 Women are getting harder to get along with?!
26:42 Men have to pay on dates?
29:58 Not taking these comments at face value
32:46 Conclusion

Sylvia and Nina are not your typical influencers; they give it to you raw and real! Join them as they quench their never-ending thirst for wisdom, trends, success and men.

They explore hot and pressing issues you never thought you needed to know in this extremely in-depth podcast. Sisters, brothers and everyone in between or beyond; jump in and be thirsty!

*Disclaimers*
The legal age for sex in Singapore is 18. While being comfortable with your bodies is a must, please protect yourselves by using protection ?
https://singaporelegaladvice.com/law-articles/legal-age-for-sex-in-singapore/

Our views in this podcast include only our own experiences as heterosexual women in Singapore, we respect everyone’s views regardless of genders, gender identities and sexual orientations.

Follow The Thirsty Sisters on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Instagram!
https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/the-thirsty-sisters/id1509379792
https://www.instagram.com/thethirstysisterstts
https://open.spotify.com/show/5yx8txjfb7dMkosumEv6lQ?si=5Ew1dv6wRlCayZ0TQfo-Ug

Featuring:
Sylvia - https://www.instagram.com/sylsylnoc
Nina - https://www.instagram.com/ninatsf

Brand collaborations/features:
sales@noc.com.sg

The Thirsty Sisters TEAM
Co-Founders: Sylvia Chan | Nina Tan
Executive Producer: Sylvia Chan
Crew/Editors: Jade Liew | Winston Tay
Motion Graphics Designers: Bryan Seah | Kher Chyn
Sound Engineers: Nah Yu En | Mabel Leong
Digital Strategist: Winston Tay

Welcome back, beauties.
In this week's vlog I'm basically showing you how I spend my days during this confusing time.
Hope you enjoy this video and let us know what helps you find back to a "new normal".
Love,
Tatyana

Follow me on Instagram | @tatyanab

The Thirsty Sisters are back! What have they been up to the past three months? Has dating life been exciting, or dangerously wholesome? With Phase 2 (Heightened Regulations) implemented in Singapore—how have they been coping—emotionally and romantically? Tune in to hear all about it!

Timestamps
00:00 Introduction
01:15 Topic of the day
02:13 Is CB 2.0 a friendship test?
03:29 Exciting vaccination plans
06:27 How CB 2.0 has affected us emotionally
08:10 Has our optimism for Covid getting better faded?
10:06 Nina's dating life updates
12:30 Nina needs help to find a boyfriend?
14:25 Sylvia's dating life updates
16:56 Dramatic vs Wholesome relationships
21:30 Gen Z date ideas for the pandemic
26:22 Our own date ideas
27:37 Conclusion

Sylvia and Nina are not your typical influencers; they give it to you raw and real! Join them as they quench their never-ending thirst for wisdom, trends, success and men.

They explore hot and pressing issues you never thought you needed to know in this extremely in-depth podcast. Sisters, brothers and everyone in between or beyond; jump in and be thirsty!

*Disclaimers*
The legal age for sex in Singapore is 18. While being comfortable with your bodies is a must, please protect yourselves by using protection ?
https://singaporelegaladvice.com/law-articles/legal-age-for-sex-in-singapore/

Our views in this podcast include only our own experiences as heterosexual women in Singapore, we respect everyone’s views regardless of genders, gender identities and sexual orientations.

Follow The Thirsty Sisters on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Instagram!
https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/the-thirsty-sisters/id1509379792
https://www.instagram.com/thethirstysisterstts
https://open.spotify.com/show/5yx8txjfb7dMkosumEv6lQ?si=5Ew1dv6wRlCayZ0TQfo-Ug

Featuring:
Sylvia - https://www.instagram.com/sylsylnoc
Nina - https://www.instagram.com/ninatsf

Brand collaborations/features:
thirstysisters@noc.com.sg

The Thirsty Sisters TEAM
Co-Founders: Sylvia Chan | Nina Tan
Executive Producer: Sylvia Chan
Crew/Editors: Jade Liew | Winston Tay
Motion Graphics Designers: Bryan Seah | Kher Chyn
Sound Engineers: Nah Yu En | Mabel Leong
Digital Strategist: Winston Tay