When you look into the mirror, do you like who you see?
Behind all the makeup, the contorted standard society has set for us, the fake laughs, the expensive armour you wear on yourself, the alcohol, the drugs... do you like who you are?

It is so easy to be someone you think people will like. You twist yourself to accomodate to the needs of others. You say something so that you are able to please everyone.

But what about you? Do you ever hear yourself? Do you like what you say, do you like what you do? Do you go to sleep every night free of worries of other's expectations of you?

Self-love. Self-respect. These were the most important values i have learnt in my 20s. Because of my insecurities, I loved with the fear of being alone. My expectations of love was skewed. I was afraid no one would love me again, because I never learn to love myself enough.

Years later, through meditation and counselling, I have once again found my sanity. Relationship with self is the most important relationship of all. Like other relationships, it is a constant work in progress.

I truly appreciate what I have today, because i had worked hard to be here today. Don't ever give up on yourself.

#sheilalovesherlife #SSFoodForThoughts #GoodThingsMustShare
#throwback #sheilaonvacay

40歲的40首歌 之20

北歐地帶（主要是冰島），有一種特有文類叫薩迦，它的起始不僅是文學性的，更和天候及地理條件有關

當地的冬季漫長，每天日照極短，甚至可能全是黑夜，為了打發那荒寂的冬季，人們聚集在室內，由耆老講述著一代一代留傳下來的英雄故事與聖徒傳說，時常會搭配樂器演奏

薩迦，常以散文的方式呈現，且富含浪漫色彩

今日同樣是個陰雨綿綿而且日照不長的冬日，聽著這首All My Friends，我想起薩迦，而LCD Soundsystem的主唱James Murphy便是那位耆老，也是這首歌的第一人稱敘事者

All My Friends整首歌詞極長（我等等全部貼在下面），說的是一則很像在新年夜（也就是兩晚之前）發生的故事

一群朋友開了一場派對，酒喝開了，藥用完了，他們盡力想把這場重要的派對辦好辦滿，但隨著派對進行，眾人卻不斷想著「過去的」那些派對——即他們年輕時的聚會

他們假裝還是很嗨，假裝自己（以及對面的朋友）仍是年輕時的狀態，但每個人的生命早已往不同的方向岔開，曾經的化學效應變淡了，也許，那就是中年

這40歲的40首歌系列，轉眼進行到一半，想想，我不也是一個在說故事的人？

今年是我從紐約回台灣後，十多年來第一次自己跨年，就待在家裡，哪也沒去

12:01分，我到天台看了一眼101煙火，發現，那跟過去十多年的煙火也沒有不一樣啊，而很快地，雨就把我趕回室內

那一刻，我覺得自己長大了，不需要再把自己偽裝在熱鬧裡。我在房裡播起這首All My Friends，很大聲的，是我2019年聽的第一首歌

就在煙火熄滅的同時，一個聲音問我：Where are your friends tonight?

我遲疑了，也許我仍是需要熱鬧的，我對自己說：If I could see all my friends tonight

That's how it starts
We go back to your house
You check the charts
And start to figure it out

And if it's crowded, all the better
Because we know we're gonna be up late
But if you're worried about the weather
Then you picked the wrong place to stay
That's how it starts

And so it starts
You switch the engine on
We set controls for the heart of the sun
One of the ways we show our age

And if the sun comes up, if the sun comes up, if the sun comes up
And I still don't wanna stagger home
Then it's the memory of our betters
That are keeping us on our feet

You spent the first five years trying to get with the plan
And the next five years trying to be with your friends again

Oh, you're talking forty-five turns just as fast as you can
Yeah, I know it gets tired, but it's better when we pretend

It comes apart
The way it does in bad films
Except in parts
When the moral kicks in

Though when we're running out of the drugs
And the conversation's winding away
I wouldn't trade one stupid decision
For another five years of life

Oh, you drop the first ten years just as fast as you can
And the next ten people who are trying to be polite
When you're blowing eighty-five days in the middle of France
Yeah, I know it gets tired only where are your friends tonight?

And to tell the truth
Oh, this could be the last time
So here we go
Like a sales force into the night

And if I made a fool, if I made a fool
If I made a fool on the road, there's always this
And if I'm sewn into submission
I can still come home to this

And with a face like a dad and a laughable stand
You can sleep on the plane or review what you said
When you're drunk and the kids leave impossible tasks
You think over and over, "hey, I'm finally dead"

Oh, if the trip and the plan come apart in your hand
You look contorted on yourself your ridiculous prop
You forgot what you meant when you read what you said
And you always knew you were tired, but then
Where are your friends tonight?

Where are your friends tonight?
Where are your friends tonight?

If I could see all my friends tonight
If I could see all my friends tonight
If I could see all my friends tonight
If I could see all my friends tonight

#四十之二十 #40Songs

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一起來欣賞超過五十幅以上法蘭西斯・培根的傑作吧！

https://www.artsy.net/artsybirthday548

＃FrancisBacon #Artsy