我很少在車上掉淚，很少。但是，上週的在休息站一次短暫的停泊，我哭了。
這是一趟從台南開往新竹的長途車程，在高速公路上我收聽著最近愛上的 Podcast 節目〈劉軒的 How to 人生學〉，我剛好聽到這集「EP35 | 如何把自己準備好，面對重要的那一刻」，主持人劉軒用厚實又帶磁性的聲音介紹了一段 American Got Talent 選秀節目的動人歌唱演出。
節目中介紹的這位參賽歌手，她的故事深深吸引了我，我已經等不及開到新竹再看這段原始影片。因此找了最近的清水休息站下去停泊，然後我在 YouTube 上搜尋到了這段影片。
影音圖文好讀 https://readingoutpost.com/nightbirde-its-ok/
.
她的名字叫 #Nightbirde

一位三十歲的女歌手 Jane Marczweski 踏上了舞台，她的外表顯得比平常人消瘦，剪了頭俐落的短髮，臉上充滿開朗的笑容，眼神中流露著一種從容的光彩。她向評審介紹了自己的名字：「當我唱歌的時候我叫『Nightbirde』」，她要為現場帶來一首自己的原創曲目「It’s OK」。

這首歌是在描述她過去一年充滿煎熬的生活。她已經好幾年沒有工作，因為她第三次被醫生診斷出癌症，而且只有 2% 的生存機率，就連她的先生也已經離她而去。上一次的診斷結果顯示，癌細胞散落在她的肺臟、肝臟和脊椎，情況似乎不太樂觀。

她搬到了加州接受治療，在她內心最脆弱、而且飽受煎熬的時候，她常常夢到一個畫面：在夜晚的窗外總是有一隻鳥在唱歌。她希望，自己能夠成為那隻在黑夜中歌唱的鳥兒，並且深信黎明中就會到來。這段故事就是她取名 Nightbirde 的由來。

評審聽完她的情況之後，皺起眉頭關心她的身體狀況，問了她：「所以妳…並不OK吧？」她微笑答道：「嗯…並不是每個方面都這樣。」

她很感謝評審讚美她充滿笑容、容光煥發的樣子，看不太出來是一位癌症病患，她堅定地說出這句充滿力量的話：「重要的是，每個人都知道，我比我碰到的那些『壞遭遇』還來得豐富的多（I am so much more than the bad things that happen to me.）」

接著，隨著旋律響起，她正式開始唱歌：「我在夏天的時候搬到加州，我換了一個新名字因為我認為這會改變我的想法……」

她的歌聲清脆響亮，臉上總是不忘微笑，在舞台自信、從容地唱著。我跟著歌曲的旋律擺動，聽著歌詞裡的故事，再想到她曾經的遭遇，心頭替她感到開心的同時，又充滿她跟病魔對抗的糾結。

我反覆播放這首歌，聽著她既勇敢堅強又充滿脆弱的自白，淚水已經沾濕了我的臉頰。「沒關係、沒關係、沒關係、沒關係，如果你感到迷失，有時候我們都有點迷失，但一切都會好的。（It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok. If you’re lost, we’re all a little lost and it’s alright）」

歌曲結束後，評審紛紛表達對這首歌的喜歡，也不斷讚賞她如天使般的聲線，更難能可貴的是她表達出徹底的「真誠」（authenticity）。毒舌評審 Simon Cowell 這次不再批判，他溫柔地說出了他對 她的真誠感到共鳴，也對她的遭遇想表達些同情。

正當他欲言又止的時候，Nightbirde 用清澈的聲音在鏡頭外說了這句：「你不能等到生活不再艱難時，才選擇快樂。（You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.）」

當下，這句話直接穿透了我的內心，也震撼了還在猶豫著要說什麼的 Simon。他如同被雷擊中一般，瞪大了雙眼，彷彿突然領悟了什麼似的。他回過神來，淡淡地說：「今年節目裡已經有很多很棒的歌手了」，他接著說：「所以，我不會給妳這個 Yes。」全場為之譁然，Nightbirde 抿起了雙唇。

在觀眾一陣喧嘩後，Simon 站起身：「所以我要給你一點別的東西。」他大手一揮按下了直通決賽的最高榮譽「黃金按鈕」 （Golen Buzzer），全場轟聲雷動，金色彩帶從天而降，在台上的 Nightbirde 激動地掩面跪地，這個不可置信的時刻，讓包含我在內的所有人都為之沸騰了。

#這是一個充滿脆弱的故事。我們不必假裝堅強，就像 Nightbirde 把自己的脆弱唱進歌曲一樣，她想把問題拋諸到腦後，但終究理解到「我以為我認識自己，但我猜自己只是撒了個謊」。她放下了別人的眼光，把自己的脆弱和無助展現出來，就算結果不如人意又如何？沒關係，一切都會 OK 的。

#這是一個充滿希望的故事。面對僅僅 2% 的逆境機率，卻不改她那喜歡歌唱的初心，整首歌更展現出她對生命「無比的堅韌」。就像在夜晚歌唱的鳥兒，即使天色漆黑不明，彷彿整個世界已被恐懼和艱難給覆蓋，仍然勇敢高歌唱出企盼黎明的希望。沒關係，一切都會 OK 的。

#這也是一個充滿選擇的故事。這外表看似清秀、俐落和陽光的她，背後卻有著這段坎坷的故事。但是，那些「壞的遭遇」並不代表全部的我們，我們可以選擇自己面對生命的態度，無論有多少艱難在前方等著我們，我們都可以選擇現在就樂觀以對，對吧？沒關係，一切都會 OK 的。

我相信，每個人都有自己要橫跨的沙漠，每個人都有自己要克服的難關，你覺得呢？

待眼淚乾了，我駛出休息站，即使腦中千頭萬緒，但總要前往下一段旅程。沒關係，一切都會 OK 的。

-

“It’s OK” by Nightbirde – 影片來源 YouTube、歌詞來源 Genius

[Verse 1]
I moved to California in the summertime
I changed my name thinking that it would change my mind
I thought that all my problems, they would stay behind
I was a stick of dynamite and it just was a matter of time, yeah

我在夏季搬到加利福尼亞
我改變了我的名字，以為這會改變我的想法
我以為所有的問題都會被拋諸腦後
我是一綑不定時炸藥，這只是時間問題

[Pre-Chorus]
Oh dang, oh my, now I can’t hide
Said I knew myself but I guess I lied

哦，哦，現在我已經無法隱藏
我以為我認識自己，但我猜自己只是撒了個謊

[Chorus]
It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok
If you’re lost
We’re all a little lost and it’s alright
It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok
If you’re lost
We’re all a little lost and it’s alright

沒關係，沒關係，沒關係，沒關係
如果你感到迷失
有時候我們都有點迷失，但一切都會好的。
沒關係，沒關係，沒關係，沒關係
如果你感到迷失
有時候我們都有點迷失，但一切都會好的。

[Post-Chrous]
(It’s alright, it’s alright)
It’s alright, it’s alright

（沒關係，沒關係）
沒關係，沒關係

[Verse 2]
I wrote a hundred pages but I burned ‘em all (Uh I, I burned ‘em all)
I blow through yellow lights and don’t look back at all (Uh, I don’t look back at all)
Yeah, you can call me reckless, I’m a cannonball (Uh, I’m a cannonball)
Don’t know why I take the tightrope and cry when I fall

我寫了一百頁，但我把它們全燒掉了（呃，我全燒掉了）
我頭也不回地闖過了黃燈（呃，我不會再回頭）
是的，你可以說我是魯莽，我就是一顆砲彈（呃，我是一顆砲彈）
不知道為什麼，在最失落的時候，我拿著繩索哭了起來

[Pre-Chorus]
Oh dang, oh my, now I can’t hide
Said I knew what I wanted but I guess I lied

哦，哦，現在我已經無法隱藏
我以為我認識自己，但我猜自己只是撒了個謊

[Chorus]
It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok
If you’re lost
We’re all a little lost and it’s alright
It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok
If you’re lost
We’re all a little lost and it’s alright

沒關係，沒關係，沒關係，沒關係
如果你感到迷失
有時候我們都有點迷失，但一切都會好的
沒關係，沒關係，沒關係，沒關係
如果你感到迷失
有時候我們都有點迷失，但一切都會好的

[Post-Chrous]
(It’s alright, it’s alright)
It’s alright, it’s alright
(It’s alright, it’s alright)
It’s alright, it’s alright

（沒關係，沒關係）
沒關係，沒關係

[Bridge]
Oh-oh-oh-oh, it’s alright
Oh-oh-oh-oh, it’s alright
Oh-oh-oh-oh, it’s alright
Oh-oh-oh-oh, it’s alright
To be lost sometimes

哦，哦，哦，哦，沒關係
哦，哦，哦，哦，沒關係
哦，哦，哦，哦，沒關係
哦，哦，哦，哦，沒關係
有時候感到迷失沒關係

[Chorus]
It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok
If you’re lost
We’re all a little lost and it’s alright
It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok
If you’re lost
We’re all a little lost and it’s alright

沒關係，沒關係，沒關係，沒關係
如果你感到迷失
有時候我們都有點迷失，但一切都會好的
沒關係，沒關係，沒關係，沒關係
如果你感到迷失
有時候我們都有點迷失，但一切都會好的

[Chorus]
It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok (Ohhh)
If you’re lost
We’re all a little lost and it’s alright
It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok (Ohhh)
If you’re lost
We’re all a little lost and it’s alright

沒關係，沒關係，沒關係，沒關係
如果你感到迷失
有時候我們都有點迷失，但一切都會好的
沒關係，沒關係，沒關係，沒關係
如果你感到迷失
有時候我們都有點迷失，但一切都會好的

[Outro]
It’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok, it’s ok
If you’re lost
We’re all a little lost and it’s alright

沒關係，沒關係，沒關係，沒關係
如果你感到迷失
有時候我們都有點迷失，但一切都會好的

最近這件事鬧的沸沸揚揚 也上了新聞 在留言上發現自己考試的影片有被po上去 增加一些曝光率這樣 哈XD

但對於此事件 我就不公開多表態什麼了 只希望一切能以理性與和平的方式去解決 我們大家都是文明人 都要努力讓這個世界變得更美好

謝謝大家關注這個議題，我剛剛把評審的照片拿掉了，原因是我希望大家不要將這位評審當成壞人，而也我們把焦點專注在這個事件上，而不是人身上，我們才能真正長期的改善這個問題．因為我不會中文，所以我會和我的夥伴們一起再產出一篇更詳盡完整的中文文章，屆時也煩請大家一同關注，讓台灣的藝術環境更好，最好也謝謝幫我翻譯以下文章的朋友，我非常訝異這篇造成的影響力，感謝你們！

I CAUSED A SCENE TODAY IN THE PUBLIC

Today I got very angry and upset for the first time in public in front of a crowd.

What started out as a nice day, I thought it would only get better by attending the street performance artist's exam in Taipei. Everything seemed nice when I saw the performers were all prepared in their provided locations around the Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall. But after I saw the head of the judge panel treated the street performers while performing, I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

Let me explained: each performer had to pay to register for the license exam. They were given 3 minutes to present their work(s) hoping they'd get a lisence so they can earn some sort of living from their passion. This one particular judge (pictured) leading the group seems impatiently listen and watch the street performers. It barely hit the one minute mark, he aggressively cut into the song of a singer and told the performer "many singers sing in different languages like English etc, sing in another language!"(I paraphrased with my bad Chinese translation). Then the singer started singing in Taiwanese language. But barely two sentences, he talked to another judge barely paying attention to the performer this head judge basically just left and gestured to the rest of the group to follow him.

The singer sang barely a minute and a half (they were promised 3 mins and they kept being interrupted by this judge). Bare in mind, this judge is earning a wage while these hopeful performers were paying him to be there. He basically did the same thing over and over again disregarding the artist's intent and hard work. Not a single word of appreciation. He just acted as he was a big boss looking down on these petty performers. He chatted as he wished and walked away without saying a "thank you" or a gesture of acknowledgement. A percussionist kept being interrupted asking him to do something different. Then he just left after the third time. The rest of the judges just followed.

So, i approached him politely asking for his name and his business card. I told him I wanted to talk to him one on one in the future. Degradingly he asked me who I was. I could see in his eyes that he saw a young man who looked like a student to him. But I was not and am not. I am a 40 year old dance artist, filmmaker and educator that have taught around the globe and in many prestigious colleges and festivals.

He didn't want to give me his business card. He seemed annoyed and surprised that someone spoke up. So I said I can give him my contact info but we needed to talk on how the exam went.

The way Taipei city exams the performers today was both disrespectful and insulting to the arts community in general. I didn't want to say this all out. But he left me with no choice.

I told him, for one, the way he treated the performers was disrespectful. As an educator I could not be quiet when I see something like that. Second, the process of the exam is not doing the art community any justice. If he cannot see the artists as a human being first, then what does it say about his view on the Arts. I could see him pissed off. But again he left me with no choice. He was very degrading towards these performers. As an artist myself and an art advocate I had to do something.

The organizer apologized to me said the process needed to go on. I told him I wasn't trying to stop them. I merely want to know how I could get in touch with them to discuss this. If you know me well enough, you should know my temperament. I am a happy go lucky person. I almost never get angry in the public. But it was genuinely insulting and degrading to every artists based on what I saw today.

This arrogant judge didn't care of my opinion. I could see it in his eyes. He was basically the superior in his world and his way was the right way. That's how he had always done it. All the young staffers there were afraid of him. Today he was disrespectful, rude, and arrogant. I really want to know why he does what he does.

After the incident, a few people came up and thanked me for speaking up. They felt the same way but they didn't have the courage to say it to this judge or the organization that issues these licenses. One organizer from the New Taipei City said even she felt bad seeing how the performers being treated.

I don't understand why people don't stand up for each other. The Taipei City has failed their community and even more so to their arts community.

For an organization that is supposed to advocate for the arts, culture and authenticity, they did miserably today. It is like giving an exam to a dog, a cat, a bird and a monkey then telling them that their exam is climbing a tree. It's absolutely ridiculous.

I left them my contact information. They said they will contact me. If they don't, this could be an interesting subject for my next film project. A documentary on how these hopeful, aspiring performers being treated.

I am mad and I am angry. I really hope they will change their shallow way of seeing Arts.

P.S. Share or repost in Chinese. They need to change. Thanks.

台北國際藝術村－寶藏巖 Taipei Artist Village－Treasure Hill
Taipei National University of the Arts
臺北表演藝術中心 Taipei Performing Arts Center
National Theater and Concert Hall, Taipei
中正紀念堂 Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall
National Taiwan University of Arts

【時事分享】
關於台灣街頭藝人的生態

原文為已在世界各地巡迴過的舞蹈家/導演/教育工作者所著
分享者為台灣極少數進入太陽馬戲團表演過的 陳星合(目前正在推動當代馬戲、新藝術表演發展的重要推手)

今天，小編不希望從新聞等第二手消息來源分享，相反的，把當事人最直接的反應和感受緣由呈現給大家

進入正題

首先小編必須很遺憾的說
台灣的藝術生態真的相較歐美國家還要落後許多。不僅發展時間短、投入經費少、人力匱乏、且大眾認知普遍不足，甚至，培育"藝術相關人才"的體系，除了相關院校有較為完整的配套，基礎上都是破碎的。要超英趕美，同志尚待努力，也許還要幾百年的時間。

回到街頭藝人為什麼會被這樣對待？

這是政府重視街頭文化程度的問題。
可以這樣說的原因是：

1. 沒有足夠的經費、人力去安排街頭藝人考試。

場地租金算天數的(而且很貴)，工作人員算時薪的。活動廠商沒有資源去安排一個為期足夠長的寬裕時間讓街頭藝人考試。也就是說，政府沒有想要投入更多的錢，反而是招標找最便宜的廠商解決活動。

如此一來，在時間十分緊湊的狀態下，要評審一天之內評審數百位街頭藝人，評審的品質如何維護？有時甚至會陷入如公車司機的窘境：delay趕場。我沒辦法聽你唱完，只能大概看一下就得評了。你還會什麼？趕快表演給我看，不然我就下分數了哦。

2. 評審的來源和資格一直都是爭議。

街頭表演五花八門，卻是少數幾種類別的表演人(甚至不是表演者)來評。

沒有相關背景的人來評分其實不是問題，畢竟街頭表演就是在街頭上表演的，也就是面對一般民眾。並不是開演唱會、音樂會、或者要進國家戲劇院演出的。

難的是：評審到底知不知道技巧難度與否？注意事項有哪些？也許評審不會做，但他必須看得出來，並有大致的概念。

政府要怎麼找到這些視野足夠寬廣且有公信力的人？
現在台灣政府普遍和藝術界還是有點代溝，因為這是一個很難看到成效的投入，你沒辦法用數字說人民的藝術氣息提升了十分。再者，會聯繫上政府的，只有出國成名回來，或者長期接案與政府合作者。

也許有人會說：街頭藝人不就是要在很短的時間內獲取觀眾的注意力嗎？
是的，在不同場合有各自適合的表演模式。不適合的，自然會被市場淘汰。

但，難道所有的表演藝術都"應該怎麼樣"嗎？
有些表演就是需要時間醞釀，有些表演需要足夠空間揮灑，有些表演需要觀眾安靜的看，他們都可能成為使社會藝術成份提高的一分子，可能是獨特的藝術文化起源。
如果是街頭藝人，又規定你的表演一定要短時間(一分鐘誇張的短)怎麼樣，這絕非一個可以助長各種多元藝術成長的環境。

雖還不能自稱藝術家，但小編希望這些訊息能夠讓大家更了解關於街頭藝人、關於台灣藝術生態的一小部分。

甚至，我們應該要有所行動。

對於社會的不公不義站出來，以各種合法的形式付諸行動，這是公民的權利與義務。
為的，是攜手讓社會更加美好。
因為我們，就在這裡。

By 蝶編

感謝黃翊 （Yi Huang）的中文翻譯。

『街頭藝人遴選制度需要被關心。
今日令我感到震驚的一幕
今天是我第一次在公眾場合、眾人面前表達我的憤怒與失望。
這一切開始於美好的一日，我以為這天只會因為參觀台北街頭藝術家徵選而更美好。當我看到所有的表演者們都在散佈於中正紀念堂各地的徵選位置準備時，一切都看起來完美極了。但在我看到評審團首席如何對待這些奮力演出的街頭表演者時，我無法對這一切保持沈默。
先讓我說明，每位表演者都必須支付報名費參加街頭藝人的徵選。徵選時他們獲得3分鐘的時間來呈現他們的表演，希望透過徵選獲得街頭藝人證，所以他們可以有機會透過他們熱愛的事物（表演）賺取收入。照片中的這位評審，帶領著一組看起來對觀看或聆聽街頭藝人的表演完全不耐煩的評審團。演出大約進行一分鐘時，他暫停了歌手的演唱，並對歌手說：許多歌手能唱不同語言的歌，像是英文，唱另一種語言！隨後歌手唱了一首台語歌，但大約唱了2句，他就和另一位評審交談，並不在意歌手的表現，這位評審團的主席就離開了，並招手要其他評審跟著他。
這位歌手只唱了不到一分半鐘（他們規定為3分鐘，而且這位評審中途不斷地打斷），請記得，這位評審的出席費是由這些充滿的期待的表演者們支付的，過程中他不斷的踐踏這些藝術家的熱情與努力。沒有任何一個正面的字眼，他的行為就像他是這裡的大老闆，高高在上的看著這些卑微的表演者們。他隨意地與他人閒談以及離席，從未有任何言語或動作上給予任何人肯定。一位擊樂演奏者的呈現被打斷，並被要求演奏不同的內容，第三次時他就離席了，而其他評審就跟著他這麼做。
所以，我禮貌的接近他，詢問他的姓名以及希望索取他的名片。我告訴他我希望未來能與他對談。他鄙視的問我是誰？他用看待一位學生的眼神看著我，但我並不是。我是一位已40歲，並曾於世界各地的大學與藝術節工作的的舞蹈、電影、和教育工作者。
他不想給我他的名片，他看起來很不耐且驚訝有人對此表達意見。所以我說我可以給他我的聯絡資訊，但我們必須對徵選方式做討論。
今天台北市徵選街頭表演者的方式是對整體的藝術工作者與環境的不尊重與侮辱，我不想否定這一切，但他讓我無從選擇。
我和他說，第一點，他對待表演者的方式過於失禮。身為一位教育者，我無法對我所見的保持沈默。
第二點，評選的流程對藝術領域來說並不公正，若他不能尊重藝術家，那他對藝術的觀點又是什麼？我可以看出他對我的發言嗤之以鼻。但他的行為使我無從選擇。他嚴重踐踏這些表演者，我自己身為藝術家與藝術支持者，我必須要做點什麼。
承辦人對我表示道歉，並說程序必須要繼續下去。我和他說我並沒有意思要停止他們，我僅不過是想知道我該怎麼與他們取得聯繫，討論這件事情。如果你對我有足夠的了解，會知道我的個性，我是一個隨遇而安，很好相處的人。我幾乎未曾在公眾場合發過脾氣。但今日他們對在場所有藝術家做的一切，是真正的污辱與踐踏。
我可以從這位傲慢的評審眼裡看得出，他並不在意我的意見。他認為他是權威，而且他的做法是對的，他也總是這麼做。所有的年輕職員總是畏懼他。今天他的無禮、粗暴、傲慢，使我非常想了解他為何這麼做。
事後，幾個人前來感謝我站出來發聲，表示他們也有同感但沒有勇氣對評審、主辦單位反應這些評議、授權機制的問題。其中一位台北縣政府承辦人說，她也對藝術家被對待的方式感到難過。
我不懂為什麼人們不為彼此挺身而出。台北市的社會已經失去它的功能，在藝術領域更是嚴重。
身為一個理應支持與保護藝術的機構，不論在文化或專業上，今天他們都完全失格。這一切看起來像是一個考一條狗、一隻貓、一隻鳥和一尾魚去爬樹一樣的荒謬。
我留給了他們我的聯絡資訊，他們說他們會聯絡我，如果他們沒這麼做，這可以是我下一部電影的標題《一部關於那些帶著希望與期待的表演者被如何對待的紀錄片》。
我非常的憤怒，我真的希望能夠改變他們對藝術膚淺的觀點。
翻譯William Lu文章』

謝謝大家關注這個議題，我剛剛把評審的照片拿掉了，原因是我希望大家不要將這位評審當成壞人，而也我們把焦點專注在這個事件上，而不是人身上，我們才能真正長期的改善這個問題．因為我不會中文，所以我會和我的夥伴們一起再產出一篇更詳盡完整的中文文章，屆時也煩請大家一同關注，讓台灣的藝術環境更好，最好也謝謝幫我翻譯以下文章的朋友，我非常訝異這篇造成的影響力，感謝你們！

I CAUSED A SCENE TODAY IN THE PUBLIC

Today I got very angry and upset for the first time in public in front of a crowd.

What started out as a nice day, I thought it would only get better by attending the street performance artist's exam in Taipei. Everything seemed nice when I saw the performers were all prepared in their provided locations around the Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall. But after I saw the head of the judge panel treated the street performers while performing, I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

Let me explained: each performer had to pay to register for the license exam. They were given 3 minutes to present their work(s) hoping they'd get a lisence so they can earn some sort of living from their passion. This one particular judge (pictured) leading the group seems impatiently listen and watch the street performers. It barely hit the one minute mark, he aggressively cut into the song of a singer and told the performer "many singers sing in different languages like English etc, sing in another language!"(I paraphrased with my bad Chinese translation). Then the singer started singing in Taiwanese language. But barely two sentences, he talked to another judge barely paying attention to the performer this head judge basically just left and gestured to the rest of the group to follow him.

The singer sang barely a minute and a half (they were promised 3 mins and they kept being interrupted by this judge). Bare in mind, this judge is earning a wage while these hopeful performers were paying him to be there. He basically did the same thing over and over again disregarding the artist's intent and hard work. Not a single word of appreciation. He just acted as he was a big boss looking down on these petty performers. He chatted as he wished and walked away without saying a "thank you" or a gesture of acknowledgement. A percussionist kept being interrupted asking him to do something different. Then he just left after the third time. The rest of the judges just followed.

So, i approached him politely asking for his name and his business card. I told him I wanted to talk to him one on one in the future. Degradingly he asked me who I was. I could see in his eyes that he saw a young man who looked like a student to him. But I was not and am not. I am a 40 year old dance artist, filmmaker and educator that have taught around the globe and in many prestigious colleges and festivals.

He didn't want to give me his business card. He seemed annoyed and surprised that someone spoke up. So I said I can give him my contact info but we needed to talk on how the exam went.

The way Taipei city exams the performers today was both disrespectful and insulting to the arts community in general. I didn't want to say this all out. But he left me with no choice.

I told him, for one, the way he treated the performers was disrespectful. As an educator I could not be quiet when I see something like that. Second, the process of the exam is not doing the art community any justice. If he cannot see the artists as a human being first, then what does it say about his view on the Arts. I could see him pissed off. But again he left me with no choice. He was very degrading towards these performers. As an artist myself and an art advocate I had to do something.

The organizer apologized to me said the process needed to go on. I told him I wasn't trying to stop them. I merely want to know how I could get in touch with them to discuss this. If you know me well enough, you should know my temperament. I am a happy go lucky person. I almost never get angry in the public. But it was genuinely insulting and degrading to every artists based on what I saw today.

This arrogant judge didn't care of my opinion. I could see it in his eyes. He was basically the superior in his world and his way was the right way. That's how he had always done it. All the young staffers there were afraid of him. Today he was disrespectful, rude, and arrogant. I really want to know why he does what he does.

After the incident, a few people came up and thanked me for speaking up. They felt the same way but they didn't have the courage to say it to this judge or the organization that issues these licenses. One organizer from the New Taipei City said even she felt bad seeing how the performers being treated.

I don't understand why people don't stand up for each other. The Taipei City has failed their community and even more so to their arts community.

For an organization that is supposed to advocate for the arts, culture and authenticity, they did miserably today. It is like giving an exam to a dog, a cat, a bird and a monkey then telling them that their exam is climbing a tree. It's absolutely ridiculous.

I left them my contact information. They said they will contact me. If they don't, this could be an interesting subject for my next film project. A documentary on how these hopeful, aspiring performers being treated.

I am mad and I am angry. I really hope they will change their shallow way of seeing Arts.

P.S. Share or repost in Chinese. They need to change. Thanks.

台北國際藝術村－寶藏巖 Taipei Artist Village－Treasure Hill
Taipei National University of the Arts
臺北表演藝術中心 Taipei Performing Arts Center
National Theater and Concert Hall, Taipei
中正紀念堂 Chiang Kai-shek Memorial Hall
National Taiwan University of Arts

053.愛與欲。浪漫愛情必然包含了憧憬與性慾兩面
柏拉圖的another half不僅僅是世俗的戀情，只是戀情的吸引易生溫馨的聯想而已，我怎明白妳，妳怎知道我，莫可理解。愛與欲大概是我們另一重生命的甦醒，驀然憶起了存在的本真（authenticity）：原來我們如此善忘，以為現實生活就是全部，一旦我們耽於事務，耗散於維持人際關係平衡，竟然無法投入生活；努力，厭倦，努力，再厭倦，周始耗散，終致憊軟。唯有愛欲讓人生存，讓生存充滿生趣。

講者：陶國璋（中文大學哲學系兼任教授）、張燦輝（前中文大學通識部主任）

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