I thought a lot before posting this but it’s important for people to understand what it’s like to go through the world as a woman of color. On Sunday someone denied me the ability to sit in the front because as a woman I would distract the driver, later another driver ran his fingers on my arm because he liked “my skin color”. He ran through 2 red lights because he was more fixated on my skin then the road. My teammate stayed on the phone with me and pretended to talk about work for the duration of the ride to make sure I was safe. “Your voice is shaking. Are you ok?” she asked. Earlier, my male work colleague was mistaken as my boss. I am the boss. I don’t think most men realize the constant vigilance women go through every day to stay safe. I don’t think most white people realize the constant vigilance people of color go through everyday to stay safe. Every woman I know has developed strategies, either walking with keys in between their fingers or having headphones in to pretend not hear cat calls or whatever to survive. The saying goes “men are afraid that women will laugh at them. women are afraid that men will kill them”. I was afraid, this weekend, in that car. I can’t control my skin color nor my gender. This weekend there was absolutely nothing I could do to have prevented these things. It feels like an utter rejection, from a patriarchal, prejudiced society, of who I am. It reminded me so viscerally of my place in this world. That driver took me to a red carpet event - so I pasted on a smile walking down that carpet after being afraid for my life. For women of color the fetishization of our bodies dehumanizes us. It makes us objects. To be a woman of color is to be in constant conflict. I’m writing these painful moments publicly because I want other women of color to know they are not alone. I see you sister. When every breath is a battle to prove you deserve full human dignity, it is exhausting. We have to work 5 times as hard to get half as far. So do me a favor and text a woman of color today in your life that she’s awesome. Chances are she went through some things this week and she’s pasting on a smile too.

After seeing delivery process for a few times, I viscerally understand the sleepless nights, the aches and pains all mothers have been going through. As labor pain is one of the most severe pains which has ever evaluated 🧐 . That’s why no matter how wrong, upset, or angry you are at your mother, dont blame her, You'll never know what it's like to carry someone for 9 months, or what your mother went through when she gave birth to you... unless you become one yourself. . Andd an amazing fact that women do not forget the pain during childbirth 😱 siapa kat sini yang pernah melahirkan anak mesti ingat kan keadaan masa melahirkan anak tu macam mana kan?

Books will never fail you 📓 / “Salve corpus amanti.” / You see things as you see them with your eyes but you experience them emotionally and viscerally as if it was ecstasy and a sense of total unity and oneness. #sunssanfran