Malaysia — you’ve always wanted to stand in the eyes of the world, haven’t you? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The tallest twin towers on the globe, Wawasan 2020; heck, we even hold the record for the largest bowl of Sarawak laksa ever made (a colossal bowl of 600kg, all of it dumped unceremoniously after the photo op with VIPs in 2016). The list of meaningless accolades goes on, and yet, 64 years after Independence, it feels like we’re still trying to prove ourselves — and catching the spotlight — for all the wrong reasons. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Daily COVID-19 case numbers are soaring faster than some speeding rempit on the Federal Highway as frontliners collapse from sheer exhaustion while the Health Minister confuses the Spanish Fly for the Spanish Flu in an address to students (a slip of the tongue or a-tishoo?). We shuffle the letters between MCO and EMCO — just like how we’d shuffled between teaching Science and Maths in English and Bahasa Malaysia for years — and wonder why we keep falling behind. Our Nobel prize laureates are scarce, Olympic gold medals non-existent, and we might just be the only country whose COVID-19 cases continue to spiral despite being in some form of lockdown or another for most of 2021. Isn’t it obvious we’re regressing? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ You could stop a stranger on the street and ask through the veil of masks, face shields and disinfectant: What did this pandemic take away from you? What was the price you had to pay? A loved one, a livelihood, a known happiness? Be prepared to walk away without answers though; some sorrows are too heavy to unload and grief takes time to surface. And right now — we’re all getting swept away in the current. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I remember riots and angry fists raised towards the sky during the Bersih protests; the yellow shirts are replaced with white, red and black flags now. Purity, courage and defiance — the thin outline that keeps all the colours of the Jalur Gemilang in check from running amok. Right now, the future feels bleak, but here’s one thing that’s always been clear: this land — despite its failures, shortcomings and downfalls — has always been so, so loved by her people. And that gives me hope in our home.