Entanglement under chilling effect (Lee Yee)

The first line of the “Manifesto of the Communist Party” issued in 1848 said: “A spectre is haunting Europe – the spectre of communism”. Back then, Hong Kong was about to open for trade. And now, this “spectre of communism” has dressed in a national security law, haunting Hong Kong. Since the National Security Law taking effect last week, the ferocious voices of resistance have been fading out of the media. Chris Yeung, the Chairperson of the Hong Kong Journalists Association, has pointed out that “chilling effect” has turned up. He was asked by a reporter whether it is still at journalists’ option to interview Chris Patten. Except for Apple Daily, almost all media have drawn a veil over any affairs pertaining to the National Security Law. Even perennial contributors to the forum and finance section of the news medium have bidden farewell to readers.

In the past few days, my relatives overseas and friends in Hong Kong have been more attentive to me than usual, not asking me if I would leave Hong Kong, but telling me to leave. Will I leave off writing? Is writing with extreme caution worthwhile? I am already at an advanced age, and have already accomplished what I aspired to.

Though I encouraged readers “not to get predominated by fear” in my column last week, to say I am not scared is to deceive myself and others, not least when being confronted with a law of extreme power from a country alien to us. Hong Kongers are used to observing laws, inclusive of the evil ones. Beijing and Hong Kong government officials have asked Hong Kong people time and again not to defy the law, yet on the day of promulgation when the citizens were still digesting it, the law was enforced in a manner we are not familiar with. How could journalists and columnists not feel threatened?

The National Security Law pledges respect and protection for human rights, including freedom of speech, assembly and demonstration. The said rights are enshrined in the Constitution of the People’s Republic of China as well, but their implementation is a far cry from those implemented in Hong Kong in the past. In my lifetime career as an editor and writer, I had been able to say anything and express any opinions including those in demonstrations. Before the National Security Law coming into effect, the judicature in Hong Kong had changed already. Afterward, it will only get worse.

In legal cases of western countries with a common law system, “promoting” and ‘instigating” are not considered criminal acts because they are intents which are intangible, invisible and unprovable, and it is hardly possible to demarcate “instigating” from “appealing” , and “promoting” from “advocating”. Yet, in recent years, Hong Kong courts have been making sentences based on the offence of “inciting”. Under the National Security Law, it is barely feasible for me to talk the court out of sentencing me for “inciting” with my commentaries.

I just write to put forward my viewpoints that are open to free interpretations of which I do not have foreknowledge, whereby I can ensure my writings do not “incite” Hong Kong citizens to “loathe” the central and SAR government. However, once the sentiment is generated, the author is embroiled in a legal case.

The National Security Law states that “the HKSAR shall promote national security education in schools and through social organisations, the media, the internet and other means”. Is it a crime not to promote “national security education” in schools and through the media and the internet, inasmuch as it is a law already?

Two words “and universities” were put after “in schools” in the English edition issued three days after the promulgation of the Law. Shall we follow the Chinese or English edition? Will there be more updates coming up?

Two days ago, the Committee for Safeguarding National Security established in accordance with the National Security Law issued “Detailed Rules for Implementation” in a meeting, in which Article 5 stipulates that the authorities shall “call for information about activities relating to Hong Kong from foreign and Taiwan’s political organizations and their respective representatives.” If foreign and Taiwan’s political organizations and their representatives do not provide the police with information as required, the relevant personnel will face 6 months in jail and a fine of HKD100,000 upon conviction; if the information provided is fake, incorrect or incomplete, a 2-year jail and a fine of HKD100,000 are expected.

How is the implementation of the National Security Law enforced on overseas countries and Taiwan? How are people in those countries convicted of the crime? Will wolf warriors be dispatched to the U.S. and Taiwan to snatch them back to Hong Kong? Taiwan Executive Yuan President Su Tsengchang responded, “The law enacted in China goes so far as to exercise jurisdiction over everywhere and all the peoples around the world, even over Taiwan.”

The National Security Law and its enforcement is too elusive for ordinary people to understand, and impalpable for writers to manoeuvre. If it is too precarious for one to tread a tightrope, staying away from it is an easy way out. Is it the writing or the person that should stay away from it? This is exactly the entanglement a lot of writers and I cannot stay away from for now.

轉錄 -
川普記者會全文中英對照(翻譯：福和會)

Thank you very much. Good afternoon. Thank you.
十分感謝，午安，謝謝。

I’m here today to talk about our relationship with China and several new measures to protect American security and prosperity.
我今天來此要談的，是關於我們（美國）與中國的關係，以及幾個保衛美國安全與繁榮的新措施。

China’s pattern of misconduct is well known.
中國胡作非為劣跡斑斑已經舉世皆知。

For decades, they’ve ripped off the United States, like no one has ever done before.
幾十年來，他們剝削美國的程度前所未見。

Hundreds of billions of dollars a year were lost dealing with China, especially over the years during the prior administration.
美國與中國交易每年損失數千億美元，特別是在前一任（歐巴馬）政府執政期間。

China raided our factories, off shored our jobs, gutted our industries, stole our intellectual property and violated their commitments under the World Trade Organization.
中國搶劫我們的工廠，搶奪我們的工作，把我們的產業開腸剖肚，偷竊我們的智慧財產權，並違反他們在世界貿易組織體制下的承諾。

To make matters worse, they are considered a developing nation, getting all sorts of benefits that others, including the United States are not entitled to.
更糟糕的是，他們還被視為是開發中國家，使得中國能得到各種優勢，這些好處，未被列為開發中國家的各國，包括美國，無法享有。

But I have never solely blamed China for this.
但我從來都說這不只是中國的錯。

They were able to get away with a theft, like no one was able to get away with before because of past politicians and frankly, past presidents.
中國的宵小行為能夠以前所未有的程度逃過制裁，是因為過去的政客，還有，坦白說，過去的總統。

But unlike those who came before, my administration negotiated and fought for what was right. It’s called fair and reciprocal treatment.
但與前任不同，我的政府（和中國）交涉並為正義奮戰。這叫公平互惠原則。

China has also unlawfully claimed territory in the Pacific Ocean, threatening freedom of navigation and international trade.
中國也非法在太平洋強佔領土，威脅航行自由與國際貿易。

And they broke their word to the world on ensuring the autonomy of Hong Kong.
他們也違背對世界所許下的，要確保香港自治的承諾。

The United States wants an open and constructive relationship with China, but achieving that relationship requires us to vigorously defend our national interests.
美國希望與中國有開放與建設性的關係，但是要達成這樣的關係，我們得大力保衛我們的國家利益。

The Chinese government has continually violated its promises to us and so many other nations. These plain facts can not be overlooked or swept aside.
中國政府持續撕毀對我們與其他許多國家的承諾，這明顯的事實不可小看或無視。

The world is now suffering as a result of the malfeasance of the Chinese government.
世界正因為中國政府瀆職而受苦受難。

China’s coverup of the Wu Han virus allowed the disease to spread all over the world, instigating a global pandemic that has cost more than 100,000 American lives and over a million lives worldwide.
中國隱瞞武漢病毒，導致此病能廣傳全世界，造成全球疫情，害死超過10萬美國人，以及全球超過百萬人命。

Chinese officials ignored their reporting obligations to the World Health Organization and pressured the world health organization to mislead the world When the virus was first discovered by Chinese authorities.
當中國政府一開始發現病毒時，中國官員無視他們對世界衛生組織報告的義務，還對世界衛生組織施壓，誤導全球。

Countless lives have been taken and profound economic hardship has been inflicted all around the globe.
無數生命犧牲，整個世界更遭受嚴重經濟危機。

They strongly recommended against me doing the early ban from China, but I did it anyway, and was proven to be 100% correct.
他們強力建議反對我在疫情初期對中國宣布旅遊禁令，但我還是照做不誤，事後證明我百分之百正確。

China has total control over the World Health Organization, despite only paying $40 million per year, compared to what the United States has been paying, which is approximately $450 million a year.
儘管中國每年僅僅不過付給世界衛生組織四千萬美元，相對於美國一直以來每年付出大約四點五億美元（中國出的錢只是零頭），但中國卻完全控制了世界衛生組織。

We have detailed the reforms that it must make and engage with them directly, but they have refused to act.
我們已經直接聯繫，並詳細的告知（世界衛生組織）需要進行何種改革，但他們拒絕行動。

Because they have failed to make the requested and greatly needed reforms, we will be today terminating our relationship with the World Health Organization and redirecting those funds to other worldwide and deserving urgent global public health needs.
由於他們不進行我們所要求的非常必要的改革，我們今天將終止我們與世界衛生組織的關係，將這些資金轉用於其他全球事務以及更值得注資的全球公共衛生迫切需求。

The world needs answers from China on the virus. We must have transparency.
世界要中國為病毒問題給出交代，資訊必須透明。

Why is it that China shut off infected people from Wuhan, to all other parts of China? It went nowhere else.It didn’t go to Beijing. It went nowhere else, but they allowed them to freely travel throughout the world, including Europe and the United States.
為何中國封鎖武漢不讓感染病人到中國其他地區？病毒沒有傳到中國其他地方，沒有傳到北京，沒有傳到中國其他地方，但中國卻允許病人在全球自由旅行，包括歐洲與美國。

The death and destruction caused by this is incalculable. We must have answers not only for us, but for the rest of the world.
此般劣行造成的死亡與破壞損失無法估計。我們要討個交代，不只是為我們自己，也是為了全球其他國家。

This pandemic has underscored the crucial importance of building up America's economic independence, reassuring our critical supply chains and protecting America's scientific and technological advances.
疫情凸顯了建立美國經濟自主、確保美國關鍵供應鏈，以及保護美國科技優勢的關鍵重要性。

For years, the government of China has conducted elicit espionage to steal our industrial secrets of which there are many.
多年來，中國政府一直進行滲透拐騙間諜工作，偷取我們無數的產業機密。

Today I will issue a proclamation to better secure our nation's vital university research and to suspend the entry of certain foreign nationals from China, who we have identified as potential security risks.
今天我要發表宣告，更加強保護我國重要的大學研究，禁止某些中國來的外籍人士進入美國，他們已被查出（對美國）有潛在安全威脅。

I am also taking action to protect the integrity of America's financial system, by far the best in the world.
我也付諸行動保護美國金融體系的完整性，美國金融體系目前是全球最好的體系。

I am instructing my presidential working group, One Financial Markets, to study the differing practices of Chinese companies listed on the US financial markets, with the goal of protecting American investors.
我正指示我的總統政策工作團隊，歐福市場（註：英國金融交易公司），以保護美國投資人為目標，研究在美國金融市場上市的中國企業的種種行為。

Investment firms should not be subjecting their clients to the hidden and undue risks associated with financing Chinese companies that do not play by the same rules.
投資公司不應該讓客戶因投資中國企業，暴露於中國公司不照規矩來而產生的隱性不當風險。

Americans are entitled to fairness and transparency.
美國人值得公平與透明。

Several of the most significant actions we're taking pertain to deeply troubling situations unfolding in Hong Kong.
幾個我們要進行的最重要行動，與香港所展開的深深令人不安的情勢有關。

This week, China unilaterally impose control over Hong Kong security.
這週，中國單方面的施行香港《國安法》控管香港。

This was a plain violation of Beijing's treaty obligations with the United Kingdom in the Declaration of 1984 and explicit provisions of Hong Kong's basic law. It has 27 years to go.
這是明確的違反了北京對英國在1984年《中英聯合聲明》中的條約義務，與香港《基本法》的明確規定，而《基本法》還有27年才到期。（註：《中英聯合聲明》規定以《基本法》確立香港為特別行政區，按照一國兩制方針，保證維持50年不變）

The Chinese government's move against Hong Kong is the latest in a series of measures that are diminishing the city's longstanding and very proud status.
中國政府對付香港的行動，只是一連串消滅該城市長久且自傲獨立地位的措施的最新一記。

This is a tragedy for the people of Hong Kong, the people of China, and indeed the people of the world.
這對香港人民，對中國人民，以及的確對世界全人類來說，都是一場悲劇。

China claims it is protecting national security, but the truth is that Hong Kong was secure and prosperous as a free society.Beijing's decision reverses all of that.
中國宣稱它是在保護國家安全，但事實是香港是個安全繁榮又自由的社會，是北京的決定讓香港的一切豬羊變色。

It extends the reach of China's invasive state security apparatus into what was formerly a bastion of Liberty.
它擴展中國侵略性的國安機構運作範圍，入侵原本是自由堡壘的香港。

China's latest incursion, along with other recent developments that degraded the territory's freedoms, makes clear that Hong Kong is no longer sufficiently autonomous to warrant the special treatment that we have afforded the territory since the handover.
中國最新的侵略行動，與其他近來減損該地區自由的事態發展，讓我們明白：香港不再具有足夠的自治能力保障我們自香港回歸以來給予的特殊待遇。

China has replaced its promise formula of one country, two systems, with one country, one system.
中國已把原本承諾的一國兩制體系，換成了一國一制。

Therefore, I am directing my administration to begin the process of eliminating policy exemptions that give Hong Kong different and special treatment.
因此，我指示我的政府開始進行刪除程序，取消給予香港不同特殊待遇的政策豁免。

My announcement today will affect the full range of agreements we have with Hong Kong, from our extradition treaty to our export controls on dual use technologies and more, with few exceptions.
我今天的聲明將影響過去我們與香港所簽訂的所有範圍的協定，從引渡條約到軍民雙用科技出口管制，以及許多其他事項，只有少數例外。

We will be revising the state department's travel advisory for Hong Kong to reflect the increased danger of surveillance and punishment by the Chinese state security apparatus.
我們將修訂國務院對香港的旅遊安全建議，以反應中國國安單位監視與懲處造成的旅遊風險提升。

We will take action to revoke Hong Kong's preferential treatment as a separate customs and travel territory from the rest of China.
我們將付諸行動，撤銷香港獨立於中國其他地區之外，作為獨立關稅與旅遊區域的特別優惠待遇。

The United States will also take necessary steps to sanction PRC and Hong Kong officials directly or indirectly involved in eroding Hong Kong's autonomy and just, if you take a look, smothering, absolutely smothering Hong Kong's freedom.
美國也將採取必要手段，制裁直接間接涉及侵害香港主權的中共與香港官僚，要是你有關心的話，這些人才剛剛扼殺，絕對的扼殺了香港的民主。

Our actions will be strong, our actions will be meaningful.
我們的行動將強而有力，我們的行動將直搗黃龍。

More than two decades ago on a rainy night in 1997, British soldiers lowered the Union flag and Chinese soldiers raised the Chinese flag in Hong Kong.
二十多年前，一九九七年一個下著雨的夜晚，英國士兵降下英國旗幟，而中國士兵在香港升起了中國國旗。

The people of Hong Kong felt simultaneously proud of their Chinese heritage and their unique Hong Kong identity.
當時香港人對中國傳統與獨特的香港身分同樣感到自傲。

The people of Hong Kong hoped that in the years and decades to come, China would increasingly come to resemble it’s most radiant and dynamic city.
香港人當時希望幾年或幾十年後的未來，中國會越來越接近香港這個光彩照人又充滿活力的城市。

The rest of the world was electrified by a sense of optimism that Hong Kong was a glimpse into China’s future, not that Hong Kong would grow into a reflection of China’s past.
當時世界的其他地方也為一股樂觀情緒所振奮，認為從香港可以一窺中國的未來，而不是香港會逐漸成為中國過去的反映（但事與願違，中國沒有變得更像香港，卻是香港成了中國的模樣）。

In every decision, I will continue to proudly defend and protect the workers, families, and citizens of the United States of America.
我的每個決策，都將繼續驕傲的捍衛與保護美國勞工、美國家庭，與美國公民。

Thank you very much. Thank you.
十分感謝，謝謝。

https://www.facebook.com/FansOfFormosaRepublicanAssociation/posts/541451769879059?__tn__=K-R

特朗普發言的全文

//Thank you very much. Good afternoon. Thank you. I am here today to talk about our relationship with China and several new measures to protect American security and prosperity. China's pattern of misconduct is well known. For decades they have ripped off the United States like no one has ever done before. Hundreds of billions of dollars a year were lost dealing with China, especially over the years during the prior administration. China raided our factories, offshored our jobs, gutted our industries, stole our intellectual property, and violated their commitments under the WTO. To make matters worse, they are considered a developing nation getting all sorts of benefits that others, including the United States, are not entitled to, but I have never solely blamed China for this.

They were able to get away with a theft like no one was able to get away with before because of past politicians, and frankly past presidents; but unlike those who came before, my administration negotiated and fought for what was right. It is called fair and reciprocal treatment. China has also unlawfully claimed territory in the Pacific Ocean threatening freedom of navigation and international trade and they broke their word to the world on ensuring the autonomy of Hong Kong, the United States wants an open and constructive relationship with China but achieving that relationship requires us to vigorously defend our national interests.

The Chinese government has continually violated its promises to us and so many other nations. These plain facts cannot be overlooked or swept aside. The world is now suffering as a result of the malfeasance of the Chinese government. China's cover-up of the Wuhan virus allowed the disease to spread all over the world, instigating a global pandemic that has cost more than 100,000 American lives and over 1 million lives worldwide. Chinese officials ignored their reporting obligations to the World Health Organization and pressured the World Health Organization to mislead the world when the virus was first discovered by Chinese authorities. Countless lives have been taken, and profound economic hardship has been inflicted all around the globe.

They strongly recommended against me doing the early ban from China, but I did it anyway. It was proven to be 100 percent correct. China has total control over the World Health Organization despite only paying $40 million per year compared to what the United States has been paying, which is approximately $450 million a year. We have detailed the reforms that it must make and engage with them directly, but they have refused to act.

Because they have failed to make the requested and greatly needed reforms, we will be today terminating our relationship with the World Health Organization and redirecting those funds to other worldwide and deserving urgent global public health needs. The world needs answers from China on the virus. We must have transparency. Why is it that China shut off infected people from Wuhan to all other parts of China? It went nowhere else; it didn't go to Beijing, it went nowhere else, but they allowed them to freely travel throughout the world, including Europe and the United States. The death and destruction caused by this is incalculable.

We must have answers not only for us but for the rest of the world. This pandemic has underscored the crucial importance of building up America's economic independence, reshoring our critical supply chains, and protecting America's scientific and technological advances. For years, the government of China has conducted illicit espionage to steal our industrial secrets of which there are many.

Today I will issue a proclamation to better secure our nation's vital university research and to suspend the entry of certain foreign nationals from China who we have identified as potential security risks. I am also taking action to protect the integrity of America's financial system, by far the best in the world. I am instructing my presidential working group on financial markets to study the differing practices of Chinese companies listed on the U.S. financial markets with a goal of protecting American investors; investment firms should not be subjecting their clients to the hidden and undue risks associated with financing Chinese companies that do not play by the same rules. Americans are entitled to fairness and transparency.

Several of the most significant actions we are taking pertain to deeply troubling situations unfolding in Hong Kong. This week China unilaterally imposed control over Hong Kong security. This was a plain violation of Beijing's treaty obligations with the United Kingdom in the declaration of 1984 and explicit provisions of Hong Kong's basic law-it has 27 years to go.

The Chinese government's move against Hong Kong is the latest in a series of measures that are diminishing the city's long-standing and very proud status. This is a tragedy for the people of Hong Kong, the people of China, and indeed the people of the world. China claims it is protecting national security, but the truth is that Hong Kong was secure and prosperous as a free society. Beijing's decision reverses all of that. It extends the reach of China's invasive state security apparatus into what was formally a bastion of liberty.

China's latest incursion, along with other recent developments that degraded the territory's freedoms, makes clear that Hong Kong is no longer sufficiently autonomous to warrant the special treatment that we have afforded the territory since the handover. China has replaced its promised formula of one country, two systems with one country, one system; therefore, I am directing my administration to begin the process of eliminating policy exemptions that give Hong Kong different and special treatment.

My announcement today will affect the full range of agreements we have with Hong Kong from our extradition treaty to our export controls on dual-use technologies and more with few exceptions. We will be revising the State Department's travel advisory for Hong Kong to reflect the increased danger of surveillance and punishment by the Chinese state security apparatus. We will take action to revoke Hong Kong's preferential treatment as a separate customs and travel territory from the rest of China.

The United States will also take necessary steps to sanction PRC and Hong Kong officials directly or indirectly involved in eroding Hong Kong's autonomy and just if you take a look smothering, absolutely smothering Hong Kong's freedom. Our actions will be strong; our actions will be meaningful.

More than two decades ago, on a rainy night in 1997, British soldiers lowered the Union flag, and Chinese soldiers raised the Chinese flag in Hong Kong. The people of Hong Kong felt simultaneously proud of their Chinese heritage and their unique Hong Kong identity. The people of Hong Kong hoped that in the years and decades to come, China would increasingly come to resemble its most radiant and dynamic city. The rest of the world was electrified by a sense of optimism that Hong Kong was a glimpse into China's future, not that Hong Kong would grow into a reflection of China's past.

In every decision, I will continue to proudly defend and protect the workers, families, and citizens of the United States of America. Thank you very much. Thank you.//

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LYRICS:
Away, yeah yeah
Away, yeah yeah
Away, yeah yeah
Baby don’t throw

Just like me to mess up a good thing
Another night ruined I don’t even know when we
Became this way
Now you’re actin’ so different than when
Back when we had it easy
And now you don’t believe me
When I say…
I’ll change…

But how can I lose you now?
Ohh, ohh
The silence way too loud
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Cause I won’t be okay
Without you every day
Baby don’t run away
Baby don’t throw our love away

Baby don’t throw our love away
Baby don’t throw our love away
Away, yeah yeah
Away, yeah yeah
Away, yeah yeah
Baby don’t throw our love away

Just like me, still instigating things
Fuckin up another perfect night when all
You ever did was treat me right, give love, and everything that needed
And I know it won’t be easy
But darlin please believe me when I say
I’ll change…

But how can I lose you now?
Ohh, ohh
The silence way too loud
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Cause I won’t be okay
Without you every day
Baby don’t run away
Baby don’t throw our love away

Baby don’t throw our love away
Baby don’t throw our love away
Away, yeah yeah
Away, yeah yeah
Away, yeah yeah
Baby don’t throw our love away

Do you really wanna leave me all alone tonight?
Don’t make me chase you into the moonlight
Baby I don’t wanna have to go another night
Without you by my side

But how can I lose you now?
Ohh, ohh
The silence way too loud
Yeah yeah, yeah yeah
Cause I won’t be okay
Without you every day
Baby don’t run away
Baby don’t throw our love away

Baby don’t throw our love away
Baby don’t throw our love away
Away, yeah yeah
Away, yeah yeah
Away, yeah yeah
Baby don’t throw our love away

Away, yeah yeah
Away, yeah yeah
Away, yeah yeah
Baby don’t throw

＃記得打開ＣＣ字幕　＃畢業季＝分手季？

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各節重點：
00:29 為什麼會有分手潮？
03:07 等等！難道我們的感情敵不過時間的考驗？
03:45 我們的觀點
06:32 提問
06:50 掰比～別忘了訂閱！

【 製作團隊 】

｜企劃：＋🐟
｜腳本：＋🐟
｜剪輯後製：Pookie
｜剪輯助理：絲繡
｜演出：志祺

——

【 本集參考資料 】

→ 她打開了人生的視野，決定和「台灣上層階級培育出來的菁英」男友分手：https://reurl.cc/5WN4V
→ Economist: ‘Tis the Season to Break Up：https://reurl.cc/Lro4K
→ 社會比較：https://reurl.cc/Elv4k
→ 真的有年末分手潮？：https://reurl.cc/RGoq6
→ How do holidays influence relationship processes and outcomes? Examining the instigating and catalytic effects of Valentine's Day：https://reurl.cc/m5QM7
→ 七夕分手潮：我們還能當朋友嗎？：https://reurl.cc/jZeyM
→ 多年前 Gary Lewandowski 根據 Facebook 的統計圖指出，暑假對於大學生來說的確是關係終止（同時也是關係開始）的時刻（summer-lovin-or-summer-leavin），但比起畢業和假期，更重要的或許是兩個人對彼此的感覺是什麼，問題是，如果他真的有分手的念頭，會跟你說實話嗎？
→ [1]Lee, S., Rogge, R. D., & Reis, H. T. (2010). Assessing the Seeds of Relationship Decay: Using Implicit Evaluations to Detect the Early Stages of Disillusionment. Psychological Science, 21(6), 857-864. doi: 10.1177/0956797610371342
→ 這邊是海苔熊的觀點：https://reurl.cc/Ndogm
＊特殊時機
・二月十四號 白色情人節 而且時間在剛開學
・七夕情人節 時間正好也在在暑假結束快開學
・過農曆年，一起見對方家人
上述節日跟情侶尤其相關，有比較多的機會去思考與對方的關係

＊為什麼？
・期待感落差
・過去專家調查發現，伴侶們在壓力增加的時候，溝通技巧會惡化，以聖誕節來說，就不只是檞寄生下接吻的浪漫，從節日前的採購、備餐、買禮物、付帳單…，都是聖誕節的一環。
・此外，感恩節和新年還更慘。神經心理學家夏普（John Sharp）就解釋，「日光時間變短對事情一點幫助也沒有，人們變得更疲勞易怒，此時自我療癒也變得相當流行。」
也就是說，進入冬天的我們少了溫暖、少了日光，卻多了壓力。

・此外，歲末也會促使大家反省這一年的「作為」。
「這段時間以來我快樂嗎？」
「我跟他真的適合嗎？」
「這個人是否可靠？」
「一年來的相處，他是否值得我等待、犧牲其他更多更好的機會？」
「我是否還有更多的可能，而不是被對方綁在這關係裡？」

＊換環境
・當兵
・遠距離
・畢業後就業
→環境改變，兩人開始有不同的生活經驗，久而久之能有共鳴的是可能也逐漸減少，而漸行漸遠
但也有人不這麼想

＊可能就只是巧合
・定義：相關的事物基於偶然的因素同時發生
・然而有些人並不會用「偶然」來解釋巧合，反而會自動尋找事物之間的關聯意義，比方說上述的「時機點」或是「換環境」
事實上，關係的結束並非一瞬間，而是一個階段性的過程。
Steve Duck是研究人際關係的著名學者，他曾經提出一個引用率相當高的關係結束模型(1982)，從關係的破 裂(breakdown)開始，區分了六個關係結束的階段(phases of relationship dissolution)，分別是:

・1.關係的破裂：關係中的一方開始對這段關係感到不滿意或是不耐煩。
→接著，必須跨越一個「我再也不能 忍受(I can stand this anymore)」的門檻之後，才會進入到第二個時期「內在心裡階段」
・2.內在心理階段(intrapsychic phase)：對關係感到不滿的這個人，會開始對伴侶感到不滿，於是他/她可能會對外發展其他替代的關係或社交活動
→當他/她認為自己「進 行抽離、離開的活動擁有其正當性(I’d be justified in withdrawing)」的時候，就進 入到了第三個階段「互動階段」
・3.互動階段(dyad phase)：兩人開始相互對峙(confrontation)，兩人的問題 透過直接的或是間接的方式被揭露出來，使得兩人可能會發生爭吵、協商或是修 補彼此關係
→而當雙方的關係無法挽回，跨越了「我們決定要分手(I mean it)」 這個門檻的時候，就進入到了第四階段「社會階段」
・4.社會階段(social phase)：兩人會開始向各自的社會網 絡進行解釋和說明，向外尋求一些協助與支持，在此階段中，雙方的分開已經是 無法避免的情形了，雙方都已經接受分手的事實，並試圖要去面對它
→一 旦跨越了「分手是無法避免的(it’s now inevitable)」這一個門檻的時候，就進入到 了第五階段「墳墓妝點階段」
・5.墳墓妝點階段(grave-dressing phase)：分手者開始整理過去的回憶，並同時進行自我修補 的過程，他/她會開始發展其版本的分手原因和過程
→而當分手者「準備好要迎 接新生活(time to get a new life)」的時候，就進入到了最後一個階段，也就是「恢 復階段」
・6.恢復階段(resurrection phase)：在這個階段中分手者會開始準備面臨新的生活或是新的關係。

在 Duck(2007)的模型中，這六個階段的關係並不是不可逆的，也就是說，如果在某一個階段時，兩人該階段的問題已經得到修補或解決，於是此對伴侶的狀況將不會往下一個階段進行，而是回到之前的某個階段，繼續維持兩人的關係。

但是，如果一對伴侶最終是走向分手一途，他們則會 經歷此六個階段的歷程。於是，在此，我是將這六個階段的內容依序描述介紹出來，而不談可能折 返回到之前的階段或是繼續維持兩人關係的情形。

・就我們的看法會認為，關係中的問題本來就存在了，「換環境」或是「特殊時機」只是一個契機，讓關係中的問題浮現，而分手則是因為在當下兩人可能都無力、無法解決這些問題，只好選擇分開。
・心理學家Silvia(2009)曾提出一個看法，我自己也蠻認同的。她提到，「只有相處時不需特別「用力」 (pay effort extremely)的關係才能維持長久，也能抵擋這種時序情境的考驗」。
・溝通對彼此的期待


＼每週７天，每天７點，每次７分鐘，和我們一起了解更多有趣的生活議題吧！／