我目前在英國就讀博士班，其中經歷申請碩士以及申請博士兩個階段，

也帶過蠻多學生申請研究所，所以看過應該上百份SOP。

之前在版上波過一篇「如何請教授寫推薦信」，如今想波一篇「SOP寫作技巧」，

希望我的經驗對版友有幫助。


我在留英版另外有波一些我在劍橋碩士留學一年的心得，分為新到篇，派對篇，

社交篇，時間管理篇等等。有興趣的版友可以參考看看。


問題一：英文辭不達意或是中式英文或是上句不接下句

這應該是最明顯的問題。畢竟英文不是我們的母語，寫起來一定沒辦法很順。

英文的寫法是每一段要有主題句，一個段落只寫一個主題。

中文的寫法是行雲流水，如果其一其二的這樣寫看起來很硬，通常會被國文老師

批很慘。


以下為一個我之前改過的SOP的例子。我把所有比較私人的資訊都刪掉了。


In May 20XX, as I was auditing the taxes of a firm, I discovered
that the law that XXX could apply to this company. This company
had a researching department. At the same time, as I was testing
the salary cycles, I discovered that the company did periodical
training. In the end, the company did not only save one million
in taxes but could receive a reimbursement of 400,000 NTD in
taxes.


如果以上這一段用中文寫，其實還算不錯，但是用英文寫的時，上下句沒什麼關聯。

會讓讀者看不出因果，連續的關係。


所以改為：

I discovered that the company was qualified for a tax refund
based on its investments and staff training. In my investigation,
I found out that the company had an investment department and
that it did periodical staff training. However, during that time,
the company did not realize that these would qualify it for a tax refund.
When I applied the taxation law to the company, I not only saved
the company one million NTD in taxes, the company also received
a tax refund of 400,000 NTD.



所以當你在寫SOP時，要注意每一段的主題是什麼，以及每一句上下句之間關聯。

盡量多用時態去表示前後關係，以及however, although等連接用，

標示出前後關係。



問題二：過度謙虛或是沒有展現出你的強處


我們台灣人講話比較客氣，通常我們認為謙虛是美德。我們往往認為我們之前做的

研究真的就沒什麼，所以講的時候也不敢大肆宣揚自己有多勵害。

但是在寫SOP的時候，要注意學校完全不了解你，他不會知道你是在謙虛，

所以只要是有例證可以證明你真的不錯，可以盡量寫出來。

有時你認為不值得一提的事情，在SOP中卻是非常重要的。

像是參加游泳隊，每天早上得六點起床在冰冷的水裡訓練。

或是自己一個人玩遍整個歐洲，訂機票訂飛車票，找住宿都是自己來。

甚至是教鋼琴，讓一個自閉的小孩開始跟人群接觸。

重點在這些小事你如何說明。


以下為一個語氣非常沒有自信的範例，同樣的，我把所有的個人資訊都刪除了。

As an undergraduate student, I did not have any outstanding research
results. During the summer vacation of 20XX, I planned to do a
small project on XXX model applied to the prediction of XXX,
but after writing the abstract, I realized that even with the help of
XXX, I still did not have the required knowledge and ability.
However, I took a graduate course of the Musicology Department
during that year. The professor taught us that music is not only
music but consist of other cultural elements. Each of the student
who participated in class had to hand in a term project (which
had to be written in English) at the end of the semester, and
my paper was "XXX." In this class, I learned about the steps of
doing research, and discovering whether a hypothesis could be
proven by experiments and field research made me excited.


以上這個範例也有上句不接下句的問題。作者先提到他做一個project，但是又太難，

所以就去修了一個非本科系的課。這樣寫會讓讀者完全抓不到為什麼project做不出來，

要去修別的科系的課。


另外，直接說大學部的研究沒什麼了不起的，真的是SOP的寫作中非常忌諱的。

我請原作把他做過的研究寫清楚一些，於是變成以下這樣：


During the summer vacation of 20XX, I planned to do a
small project on applying the XXX model to the prediction
of sport lottery, but after writing the abstract, I realized
that even with the help of my father, I still did not have
the required knowledge and ability. So I decided to take
two graduate courses in the following semester. Lectured
by a young professor, Microeconomic Theorem (I) was
about a broader view of economic theorem: from the
fundamental convexity to the derivation of demand
function; through done-to-the-detail mathematics, the
construction process of economic model became vivid. The
other course belonged to the Musicology Department,
which required students to conduct term projects in English.
While discussing different cultures, I learned to think in more
different perspectives than before. At the same time, I followed
my professor closely to try to write a good paper using
anthropologic research methods




問題三：花太多字數講一個事件

通常SOP都會限字數，所以盡量每一個字都用在刀口上。如果可以三句話講完的，

不要用十句話講。另外，有一些客套話其實可以不用寫，像是剛開始的

「我對貴校很有興趣因為你們是很好的學校，我覺得我會學到很多。」

以及最後的「希望你們給我機會，我一定會努力的研究學習很多知識。」



附上一個範例，第一個例子大約100字，第二個例子六十多個字。

In a short term, after finishing the curriculum, I plan to go back to
my country and get a license in accounting. As entering accounting
firm, I will enhance my observation and understanding of Taiwan's
industry. For outside investors, financial reports approved by
accountants are important messages. In a long term, I hope to
integrate diverse financial information, the knowledge that I learned
in the MS in accounting program, my knowledge in international
law and my financial market knowledge. So, I can serve as a
consultant and manage various international affairs as well as
the valuations of multinational industries.


My short-term goal is to return to Taiwan and obtain a license in
Accounting. I will work at an accounting firm and observe
Taiwan's industries more closely. My long-term goal is to integrate
my knowledge of the financial market, international law, and
accounting so that I will be able to serve as a consultant and
manage various types of international affairs as well as
evaluate multinational industries.


問題四：不要以台灣為恥


這個看起來很政治敏感，但是我在修改的過程中，常常會發現很多人對於自己是

台灣的大學畢業的會很沒有自信。先不論我們台灣的研究跟世界相比如何，

這一種語氣一出來對你的SOP非常的不利。


尤其是做國際關係，文學等領域研究的人，可以多加強自己的台灣背景。

大部份的外國人都知道台灣的情型，也都蠻好奇的。如果能夠把台灣的情型寫進SOP，

對我們來說很普通的現象，對外國人來說是很奇特的。


另外蠻多台灣人會說日文，或是去日本交換學生過，但是SOP裡往往都只輕輕帶過。

你可能會覺得，台灣人那麼多去過日本，會說日文，而且你現在要申請的的是美國英國

講台灣日本有什麼用？但是這就是讓你的SOP跟美國大學生寫的不一樣的特點。



----------------------------------------------------------------------


到最後，我常常覺得台灣人寫SOP時出的不是英文問題，而英文有問題請老外請代辦

修一修就好了，出問題的往往是內容跟語氣，老外跟代辦能幫的蠻有限的。

最後畢竟SOP是自己要拿去申請的，你自己的經驗跟研究也是只有你自己最了解。

所以SOP的成敗還是看你自己。


拿給老闆改當然也是不錯的方式，但是老闆時間有限，不可能幫你仔細修每一個句子，

只能給你大略的建議。


我有認識幾位劍橋的碩博士生，有時會接一些翻譯(英法，非中英)或是論文潤飾的案子。

不過他們通常都是打工性質，畢竟主要還是在做研究，而且他們可能會覺得

論文潤飾蠻難賺的，指導大學生時薪25磅。


但是如果版友有興趣的，可以跟我聯絡，我幫你問問看最近有沒有人在接案子。

或是趁我現在比較有時間，可以幫忙一下版友看看你的文章。







--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 91.144.26.202
※ 編輯: shepherdess 來自: 91.144.26.202 (09/23 18:04)