《我的幸福5/2 週末》

*週日下午兩點誠品信義書店「廿世紀典範人物」新書分享會，我下午二時開始演講，離上次在台灣大學公開演説。快半年了！分享會報名一小時預告已額滿，但TVBS電視台慷慨的支持。派出SNG車，屆時TVBS文茜的世界周報YouTube 及世界周報Facebook 都將同步直播。

*新書分享會後我將直奔高雄衛武營，參加劉孟捷（李斯特巡禮之年）鋼琴獨奏會。這是劉孟捷回台，最重要的一場音樂會，我目睹他用盡了一切心力。過去即使21歲時在費城代打缺席大師的音樂會，劉孟捷都未曾如此緊張。他此次回台，手術前為了沒有遺憾，共舉行三場音樂會：其中4/17與5/30皆是與國家交響樂團NSO合作：530那一場指揮是呂紹嘉。但他告訴我，某些曲目對他而言，是Piece of Cake ：惟獨衞武營這一場，曲目由他自己決定，現場錄影，並且找了金曲獎錄音師同步錄音。

5/2衛武營-劉孟捷鋼琴獨奏會《李斯特巡禮之年》購票連結
https://www.opentix.life/event/1384752689074294784

劉夢捷明白他即將面對一個大手術，手術風險之外，他的免疫系統疾病，將使他的康復之路更長。

沒有人可以預知未來，為了圓他的夢，醫院每天都要求他早上、晚上量血壓，報告直接傳給院長。振興醫院院長魏崢雖然是亞洲第一把心臟外科醫師，但也不敢大意。

畢竟這個人的生命那麼脆弱，他的心臟主動脈剝離，那是實質的「心碎」了：但他仍有詩，仍有音樂夢。在生命的交接處，在白日與黑夜的交义口，劉孟捷想為他的音樂生涯，留下最美好的紀錄。

他選擇了李斯特。

在這場音樂會前，他甚至以英文寫下了自己與音樂、疾病的半生回顧：如李斯特的巡禮，有仰望，有沉思，有失落，有幽微的疼痛。他以詩篇般的演奏模式，傾訴，詠嘆。他曾得到天賦，也走過死蔭的幽谷。命運是一層又一層的黑影逼近，老天爺隨時想帶走他。

而他已不再流淚，不再沉浸於悲愴告別：因為對他而言活著並不容易，他要讓自己更深刻的抓住每一分時光之美。

如果時間和空間，正如哲人們所形容的
都是不實際存在的東西：那從不感到衰敗的太陽，也不會比我們了不起多少！

他如艾略特的詩句中所形容的：我們為什麼要如此貪心總在祈禱，想活上整整一個世紀？

蝴蝶雖僅活了一天，已經歷了永恆。

當他的身軀如露水還在藤蔓顫抖時，他送給我們一場「完全浪漫又超技的李斯特」。

等音樂會結束了，至少有一張CD，一段YouTube 影像：不論孟捷代表生命的那朵鮮花是否枯萎，他彈奏如天使的音聲不會飛離，它會停留在那夜，繼續釋放芬芳。

這是盡生命之力、之情獨奏的音樂會。劉孟捷説：這樣當他走進手術室時，會少一點悲傷。

或許快樂的日子本來就不多，但讓這場「完全李斯特．完全劉孟捷」的獨奏會放出神聖的光彩吧！

我必將赴會，不會錯過！我知道此刻的獨奏會，很難複製，因為它綜合了太多的情感、愛念，釋放與生命的抒情。

*劉孟捷為此次獨奏會寫下的文字：This past year has seen some unprecedented changes in the world. Many lives have been lost and many have changed. The world has changed while many of us confront the uncertainty of the future.

For most musicians, life has changed. For months, we have been conducting our lessons online, and concerts have mostly stopped or become an online experience as well. More time has been spent learning how to improve the online teaching experience than one could have imagined. While I have felt the duty to continue teaching, the format the pandemic requires for teaching leaves me unwilling to spend more time than I have to.

And truly, I have had other things to deal with. When the pandemic started to worry the American public in March, I was in the middle of a tour with the String Quartet-in-Residence at Curtis, the Vera Quartet. However, our concerts were canceled, and everything came to a sudden halt.

I felt the universe had sent me an unexpected gift, as I had also just received some terrible news concerning my worsening aortic arches and a diagnosis of kidney cancer. The sudden halt in my professional schedule seemed perfect in its timing. I was able to settle into a monastic existence, to simply practice and attempt to heal.

I see many musicians itching to be concertizing again, and many stepped into new territory, performing on the internet. Many took time to develop new podcasts, and to write new materials for their art. Sadly, many have struggled as they have fallen into desperation without any concert incomes. Altogether the music industry seems to be in peril, and many worry about how music and musicians will survive.

However, I had my own survival to think about. Having been through many difficult experiences in my life, I knew this might be the most difficult I would encounter. My Doctors describe me as a walking time bomb. My condition could be lethal at any moment if my blood pressure gets out of control. So while others wrestle with the fate of the music industry, I’ve needed to face my own fate and mortality.

Playing concerts can mean many things to people. At different times throughout my life, I’ve felt the need to express different aspects of myself. When I was young, I wanted to embody the spirit of romanticism, playing lots of Chopin and Schumann. Then there was a period of time when I wanted to challenge myself by showing off pyrotechnics. I had a brooding period where I turned to the pathos of Rachmaninoff, and then felt the need to return to the purity of Schubert and nobility of Brahms. Throughout this pandemic, I wanted to play Bach. Through Bach’s music I found a kind of spiritual sanctuary.

In considering the program for this concert, I felt again the urge to play music that reflects my current feelings and state of mind. The title of today’s recital, “Years of Pilgrimage” seems to fit exactly what I am experiencing.

Liszt wrote several volumes of “Années de pèlerinage” throughout his life to reflect on thoughts he had during his travels. He links his philosophical thoughts to the scenery which inspired them. “Au Bord d’un Source” describes feelings of rejuvenation while standing next to a clear stream of water, a symbol and source of life and energy. It seems to say, when the stream is so pure, life can be so full of joy.

In the Les jeux d'eaux à la Villa d'Este (The Fountains of the Villa d'Este), the water has a magical and supernatural quality, as Liszt himself wrote in the inscription: "But the water that I shall give him shall become in him a well of water springing up into eternal life,"( from the Gospel of John.)

For me, I have never felt more connected to Liszt than when he looked upon the valley of Obermann and questioned the meaning of existence. At this moment in my life, I often find myself reflecting my experiences of what I see and read into philosophical musings. Perhaps many people come to a time when this is so.

In all this I have felt gratitude for the love stories and sonnets that one can romantically indulge in, and for storms so violent that they threaten to destroy one’s spirit, even the hell-bound journey which brings up questions about the purpose of life…

On this journey, I felt full and alive as a human being. Looking back on this journey, I am grateful for everything, whether happy or sad, to have made an impact, found and imparted meaning to this life.

The unusual time of this pandemic has marked a milestone for me. I have journeyed back home, and as it happened, this is the first time I have spent so much time in my hometown Kaohsiung in over 35 years. It’s particularly nostalgic to play these pieces as some of them were significant in my early musical career. Vallée d’Obermann was the piece I played in my first competition at the junior high school level, in which I won first prize on the national level, which allowed me to be qualified to apply for a special permission to study abroad. This meant my dream to be educated as a musician could be continued in an environment where I could develop fully. In the following year when I was 13, I won the first Asia-Pacific Youth PIano Competition with the Dante Sonata. The competition catapulted me into national attention as I was headlined in several newspapers, and especially since it was held in Kaohsiung, I became a local hero as well. During the same event, I had a fateful meeting with one of the important influences in my life, Mr. Gary Graffman, who then mentored me throughout not only the years when I was studying at Curtis, but throughout my illness and recovery as a pianist. Right before I departed to study in Philadelphia, I played my first solo recital throughout Taiwan, and along with the Dante Sonata, I also performed the three sonnets.

It’s perfect that now, back in Kaohsiung, all these memories have flooded back into my head. I feel so lucky to have been born here, and to have met my first teacher, Chin-Li Lee, who inspired me on the path to become a musician. Prof. Alexander Sung filled me with dreams of becoming an artist. I am grateful for his belief in my talent, when he chose to give a 12 year old such philosophical pieces to play.

Having once again spent some months in Kaohsiung, I can freshly appreciate the source of inspiration it once was for me. I have returned to the source to heal. Having already glimpsed hell’s gate several times, battered and weathered by the storms of life, I know there is a reason life is this way, and it all will be alright.

Meng-Chieh Liu
April, 2021

*劉孟捷衛武營《李斯特巡禮之年》演奏會中，包括李斯特以佩脫拉克三首情詩譜寫的鋼琴琴詩：這三首情詩是從大詩人佩脫拉克一百多首情詩挑出來的，詩本身就很優美，依此激發李斯特的浪漫主義創作靈感，成為琴藝上最困難演奏，但也特別細膩溫柔的琴詩。

這三首分別是：
〈佩脫拉克第47號十四行詩〉〈佩脫拉克第104號十四行詩〉及〈佩脫拉克第123號十四行詩〉。
Franz Liszt（1811-1886）: Sonetto 47 del Petrarca, Sonetto 104 del Petrarca, Sonetto 123 del Petrarca, from Années de pèlerinage, Deuxième année: Italie

李斯特於1846年先出版藝術歌曲《三首佩脫拉克十四行詩》（Tre sonetti del Petrarca），再改成鋼琴獨奏版。

三首佩脫拉克十四行詩
中譯：焦元溥（元溥也是友情贊助，特別準備音樂資料，周日南下，聆賞劉孟捷的樂曲，並且陪同他盯著錄音共三天）

〈第47〉
祝福每天、每月、每年，
所有片刻與鐘點、時間與季節，
在那美麗的原野，

我為一雙眼眸魂縈夢牽。

祝福初遇時的甜，
與愛同在、受苦不停歇，
如弓箭刺穿令我淌血，
傷口永留感動在我心間。

祝福一切我發出的聲音，
當呼喚著我深愛的女郎，
渴望、嘆息、淚濕滿襟。
祝福我寫下的文字遠揚，
歌頌她的芳名，萬古長新。
我心永屬於她，無人能闖。

〈第104〉
我找不到和平，也無意打仗，
我恐懼、我期望，燃燒又冰透。
我向天飛升，卻躺在地上，
我一無所有，卻又擁抱整個宇宙。

我身陷囹圄，監牢又開敞；
我不受囚禁，卻銬著鎖頭。
愛情不讓我死，也不讓我飛翔；
不要我活，也不准我逃離悲愁。

欲看卻無眼，啞口還在發言，
我甘心殞滅，卻仍高聲呼救，
我痛恨自己，但仍愛著他人。

憂傷滋潤我，淚水伴隨笑臉，
生命不足惜，死亡也不煩憂；
我淪落至此，都是妳啊，我的愛人！
〈第123〉

我在塵世見到仙子的美，

她天堂般優雅無與倫比。
想起她讓我悲傷又歡喜，
所見如幻夢迷霧與幽黑。

妳的可愛眼睛使我落淚，
多少次讓太陽也要妒忌。
我還聽到四周發出嘆息，
移動了山嶽停止了河水。

愛情智慧憐憫憂傷財富，
在淚水中形成甜美聲響，
奇妙和諧世上未曾目睹。
天堂追隨著音樂的流淌，
雖然枝上樹葉並未飛舞，
空氣與風息卻充滿芬芳。

5/2衛武營-劉孟捷鋼琴獨奏會《李斯特巡禮之年》購票連結
https://www.opentix.life/event/1384752689074294784

要再一次感謝花蓮人不要媽祖直接站台的人！#中華民國最美的風景

【回顧】
一「[新聞] 蕭美琴謝票哽咽︰不用再被糟蹋打壓」
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1553505508122856&id=584986081641475

【海邊的房間】

不是黃麗群筆下那個被中醫繼父施針而長眠的女兒、所長眠的那間海邊的房間。但之間都有相似的什麼。都是出走追尋卻遭致囚困的故事。一個困在自己的身體裡，一個困在美麗的島上。「出走追尋」是一種溫柔的表述，實則《Limbo》是部難民電影。難民電影多用大敘事醞釀悲愴的基調，脫離不了苦大仇深，對應現實總是悲劇收場，如同limbo這個英文詞彙的語義，懸而未決，始終停滯的狀態。

但電影《Limbo》並不。除了主角奧瑪以外，電影對其他幾位角色各自的來歷交代不多。他們被安置在臨海的蘇格蘭比特島上，在等待一紙身份兌現的當兒，會去上一些生活基本課，比如，如何面試當一個清潔工。「但那如果我要當切爾西球員呢？」終於在那絕美的島上，有人掙破那薄膜般的美好假象，不太暴力地表達了自己的聲張。

有些族群生來就是難民，這根本不是選擇題。然而追尋卻是一則選項。這跟海的運命一樣，不問出處，但求嚮往。所以電影不太講述難民的身世，反而大量運用詩意的鏡頭，去刻畫人的追尋，以及成敗。然而這「成敗」往往不只是獲不獲得身份證明，可能是成就了一場夢想的演出，也可能是敗在一場對執法單位的欺瞞，最終死在一片冷颼颼、白茫茫的雪地上。

Limbo本是迷霧，從外在世界到主角奧瑪的內心世界。電影運鏡如詩，一整片風吹的黃綠草地往下走就是海，突如其來的大雪踩著深陷雪地的腳步艱難前進，讓人不忘的始終是奧瑪深邃憂鬱的眼睛裡，無法言喻的堅毅像野地的篝火未曾止息。恍恍以為他去到哪提到哪的烏德琴琴盒其實就是一副棺木，每個流亡的人無時無刻無不攜著自己，擺蕩在死亡的路上。

「在那艘流亡而失火的船上，我已經見過地獄。」

奧瑪繫著粉紅繃帶的右手終究是好了。好了的時候他拎著他的烏德琴，舞台從家鄉敘利亞變成蘇格蘭，底下的觀眾一樣投以讚賞的眼光。這是導演對世界保有最後的溫柔——如同那場極光，貨架上的漆樹粉，還有那隻名叫Freddie Junior的公雞，安然無恙地回到自己的雞籠裡。

-

Limbo (2020) / Ben Sharrock

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⭐鄭弘儀打這款疫苗！3種症狀驚呆副作用？
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【台灣防疫神話一夕幻滅？】完整版▶▶https://youtu.be/I6ho44Hfujw

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#染疫病逝#確診死亡#新聞挖挖哇#鄭弘儀​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​#新聞挖挖哇2021​​​​​​​​​​​​

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#溺水#鄭弘儀​​​​#新聞挖挖哇​​#人間悲劇

【水面下隱藏真相！高大成公開關鍵證據！】
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《花の唄 / I beg you / 春はゆく》
春はゆくthe late spring ver. / Haru wa Yuku / 春日將逝 / Spring goes
作詞 / Lyricist：梶浦由記
作曲 / Composer：梶浦由記
編曲 / Arranger：梶浦由記
歌 / Singer：Aimer
翻譯：澄野（CH Music Channel）
意譯：CH（CH Music Channel）
English Translation: CH（CH Music Channel）

背景 / Background - 官方海報 / Official poster :
https://i.imgur.com/kT8RnPK.jpg

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中文翻譯 / Chinese Translation :
https://home.gamer.com.tw/creationDetail.php?sn=4726057

日文歌詞 / Japanese Lyrics :
それでも手を取って　となりに佇んで
初めて抱きしめた　かたち

欲張ってかなしみを抱えすぎていたから
幸せを何処にも　もう持ちきれなくて

花びらを散らした風が
扉を開いて　変わる季節

しんしんと降り積もる時の中
よろこびもくるしみもひとしく
二人の手のひらで溶けて行く
微笑みも贖いも　あなたの側で

消え去って行くことも　ひとりではできなくて
弱虫で身勝手な　わたし

償えない影を背負って
約束の場所は　花の盛り

罪も愛も顧みず春は逝く
輝きはただ空に眩しく
私を許さないでいてくれる
壊れたい　生まれたい

あなたの側で　笑うよ
せめて側にいる大事な人たちに
いつも私は　幸せにいると　優しい夢を届けて

あなたの側にいる
あなたを愛してる
あなたとここにいる
あなたの側に

その日々は　夢のように⋯⋯

中文歌詞 / Chinese Lyrics :
即使已經演變至此，你還是願意站在我的身旁、牽起我的手
令人不經追憶起，至今仍無法忘懷的、第一次相擁的輪廓

全都是因為我太過貪婪自私，才會有如此悲愴痛苦的哀傷
所以不論何處都再也無法，回到過往那段一成不變的幸福時日

暮春的晚風散了本因艷麗紛飛的錦簇花瓣
敞開門扉，卻僅迎來，令人感傷的更迭時節

在彷彿凋花般幽靜落下、深厚積累並流逝的時光深處
不論是欣喜愉悅、亦或是悲痛苦楚，毫無二致
均在兩人十指緊扣的手心中，毫不留情地消散逝去
「願無論是微笑還是贖求赦免，我都能，陪伴在你的身邊。」

想淡淡抹滅自己的行蹤悄然消逝，隻身一人，卻什麼都無法做到
我想這都是因為，我是如此的膽怯懦弱又自私任性吧

背負不可彌補的沉重罪孽及贖罪的晦暗陰影
約定之地，必定將以，似錦繁花鮮麗點綴綻放

不顧她的罪過及愛戀，春天僅是漸漸幽然逝去
無情的蒼天僅是，沉寂地徒留耀眼光芒，彷彿無法饒恕般眩目撩亂
即便我做出不可寬恕的事，也請你不要憐憫我
我乞求徹底潰爛崩壞；卻也渴望再度重生

「我會一直陪伴在你的身旁幸福笑著。」
請你至少向陪伴在我身邊、賜予我幸福的、珍重的人們傳遞感謝
准允了我一場，一直十分溫柔又慈祥、令人沉溺珍惜的甜美幻夢

「我會一直，陪伴在你的身邊。」
「我會一直，愛著你的。」
「我會一直，待在這裡。」
「直到能夠，陪在你的身邊⋯⋯」

那段時光，每一天都猶如夢一般——

英文歌詞 / English lyrics :
Even now, you still hold my hands and stand right beside me.
It makes me recall the silhouette of our first embrace.

It was all because of my selfishness that leads to the sorrow we have now.
Wherever I receive, I cannot preserve any happiness I once had.

The wind blew off all the petals.
Opening the door, I just discovered that season had already changed.

Deep in the depths of piles of the non-stop falling time.
There are no differences between happiness and despair.
Melting in the palms of our hands.
Hope the smile and redemption can both accompany by your side.

I want to disappear, but I cannot do it alone.
Because I'm a selfish wimp.

Bearing with irreparable shadow,
the promised place must be blossomed with full of flowers.

Spring goes without regarding her sins and love.
The sky is dazzlingly bright and shine.
Please do not forgive me.
I want to be broken; I want to be reborn.

I'll smile with you.
At least let me tell all those important people right beside me, who grant me joy and happiness:
"I always feel happy with you, thank you for giving me such a gentle, sweet dream."

I'll be right beside you.
I love you.
I'm here with you.
Just right beside...

Like a dream, those days left behind...

#Fatestaynight
#HeavensFeel
#Aimer