【天青色等煙雨，而我在等你】(English writing below)

我看著客人眼淚
滴滴答答的打在桌面上
筆記本
濕了
本子上的字
糊了

她的心酸
猶如洪泉遇到崩裂的堤壩
一波一浪的破牆而出

一個被愛情辜負的女子
看了真是心疼

我不由自覺的
想到了自己

你懂我的
像我這樣剛烈的女子
爲了愛情
我絕不退縮
祇是一個勇字
又豈能成事呢

童年
過得心驚膽顫
家裡常吵得
雞犬不寧

爸爸沒想要
把我生下
媽媽常說
要把我趕出去

我很努力讀書
我很努力做個乖孩子
我覺得我做得很好
人小小本事很大
但這些終究無法
讓我在美滿的家庭長大

多少個夜晚裡
我被媽媽打得
想奪門而出
永不再見
可是想到誰來照顧她
我又忍下來

我很恨
為何我命運不如人

第一次談戀愛時
我是多麼多麼的雀躍
內心裡的煙花
不斷地爆開
我終於等到了
不再是
沒人要的孩子了

我終於
值得有人愛了

初戀的絢麗
卻也如七彩美麗的煙花
一聲巨響後
就消失在漆黑的夜裡

他常常在我面前
提到他如何深愛著
他中學時的校花
她是如此的美好

有一次
這校花來我們的學校
他得知後
破課室的門而出
沒見到她
他哭了一整個星期

心中的不安
讓我常常與他吵架
三年零八個月裡
我不是一個好女友
服滿兵役後
他喜歡上大學迎新會
的一位混血兒

後來
我和一位校友打了幾次桌球
某夜
他在ICQ向我索吻
對他的印象
就一落千丈了
（你以為老娘在賤賣嗎？）
不久一位朋友告訴我
他約會的對象
不只我一個

我有一位
很好很好的朋友
我在新加坡時
他常陪我
深夜打桌球到清晨
聊佛法聊人生
一起上佛學班
一起學國標舞
從未有一個人
如此瞭解我的心
如此照顧著我

但無所不談的當兒
他也不斷告訴
這麼多年來
他如何愛念著
一個女孩
對她始終無法忘懷

我又輸給
活在記憶中的人了

我這一份單戀
長達兩年
很磨人很磨人很磨人
差一點走不出來

第二次談戀愛
他常在我面前提起
一個他追了半年追不到的女孩
他說
有一天一定要去問她
為什麼不選擇他

在家裡的毒打
並沒有隨著我成人
而停止

後來拜師學藝
卻因爲品德不良
被師父一句
「你不是我要找的人。」
斷然吃了閉門羹

那天我哭得痛徹心扉
覺得自己
好像是
個沒人要的孩子

方文山因爲
八百年前
宋徽宗皇帝御批的這句
「雨過天青雲破處」
而在周傑倫《青花瓷》裡
寫了『天青色等煙雨，而我在等你』

他說
愛情里最無力的無奈
就是「等待」
天青色得等待
不知何時會降的雨
雨停
積雲散去
朗朗晴空中
天青色才能顯現
如同我
只能被动而安静的
等待着
不知何时才会出现的妳。

慢慢的
我開始認為
我這輩子等不到了
月老應該沒幫我
綁上紅線

學佛多年後
忽然恍然大悟
一個道理
没有东西是必须拥有的
沒有它
也不代表自己的不足

愛情
是一個填不滿的慾望
所以愛情劇長紅

在2015年2月21日年初三，根本上師蓮生活佛在台灣中天綜合電視台的訪談中說：https://youtu.be/EPDxwSt6a5I （時間12:08）

「師尊本身的愛是這樣的。我既然愛她，就是要她幸福，不是要佔有她，這種愛不是佔有，其實愛不是佔有。如果愛是佔有的話，那就是屬於慾望。如果愛不是佔有，我是祝福她，雖然我愛她，她不愛我，她愛別人，我就祝福她。如果愛別人會比較幸福，我就祝福她。這種愛就不是佔有的愛。如果是佔有的愛，一定會產生痛苦。」

原來我真正在等的
是自己
自己的智慧開了
心變闊達時
才不會讓他人決定
自己幾時可以幸福
可以幸福多久
命運在我手中
怎麼走本來就是我說了算

我輕輕的拿起桌上的紙巾，遞給女客人。她一把鼻涕，一把眼淚的向我道謝。

借了師父慣用的笑話，我柔聲細語的說：「別哭，新加坡缺水，要哭要到蓄水池哭，這樣我們可以少看馬來西亞的臉色做人。」

她破涕而笑。

我再說：「我看了妳的八字，現在又看到妳真人，勸你跟我講話老實一點，要不然我幫不到妳。妳明明一直做人家的小三，還敢跟我哭沒有男人要和妳結婚？妳不也偷偷拿了他不少錢嗎？我看妳明明就是一張愛錢的臉。」

奉勸各位大俠，在我面前，若要用眼淚爲武器，請三思，因爲虛偽的，我必定拆你面具。

..........................

I looked at the teardrops of my client, pitter patter onto the table top. My client's notebook got wet. The words got muddled.

All the pains in her heart were like the angry river crushing through a broken dam, tearing down the walls as the tears flowed.

To see a lady being let down by love was indeed heart-breaking.

I couldn't help but thought of myself.

You know me. An unyielding character like mine will not shrink like a coward in the name of love. Alas, there are things in life that can't be accomplished solely with courage.

My childhood was filled with a lot of fear. There were often quarrels at home.

My dad didn't want me to be born. My mum often said she wanted to chase me out of the house.

I studied very hard. I did my utmost to be an obedient kid, and I thought I did very well as young child but I was already very capable. However, all these were not enough for me to grow up in a complete family.

So many nights, I got beaten up so badly by my mum that I wanted to just break out of the door and never to see her again. But the mere thought of nobody looking after her pulled me back.

I hated so much. Why wasn't my destiny comparable to other people?

When I first fell in love, I was so elated. The fireworks in my heart exploded non-stop. I finally found someone. I was no longer that child which nobody wanted. I was finally worthy of someone's love.

The splendour of first love, however, was as temporal as the rainbow-coloured fireworks. After a loud explosion, it vanished into the darkness of night.

He would often tell me in my face, how much he pined for and loved his secondary school crush, apparently the prettiest and most perfect girl in school.

Once, this campus belle came to our school. When he got wind of the news, he dashed out of the classroom. Failing to see her, he cried for one whole week.

My insecurity caused me to quarrel with him often. In those 3 years and 8 months, I wasn't a great girlfriend. After his NS, he got together with a girl of mixed blood at his university's Orientation camp.

I played pool with a uni mate a few times. One night over ICQ, he teased me for a kiss. My impression of him dropped like hot cakes. Did I look like I was lelong-ing myself? Later, a girl pal told me that he was dating several girls at the same time.

I had a very good friend. Whenever I was in Singapore, he would accompany me to play pool till wee hours. We talked about Dharma, life, and we attended Buddhism and ballroom dancing classes together. I had never met a person who understood me and took care of me so well.

But among our endless conversations of everything and anything, he always told me how he still loved a girl from his school. He couldn't forget her.

Again, I lost to someone who lived in the memory of the guy I liked.

This one-sided love of mine burned for two years. It was very, very, very excruciating. I almost didn't make it out alive.

In my second relationship, the boyfriend would always tell me about a pretty girl whom he pursued for half a year, but failed to win her heart. He told me firmly that if he had the chance, he wanted to ask her why she did not choose him.

The abusive beating at home did not stop even after I grew up.

Later on, when I wanted to become Shifu's disciple, he turned me down flat because he didn't think I had good morals and values. He was blunt, "You are not the person I am looking for."

That night, I cried painfully hard. Suddenly, I felt like I was the kid from my childhood whom nobody wanted.

800 years ago, Emperor Huizong of Song Dynasty wrote in an imperial decree "雨過天青雲破處". It was this that inspired Vincent Fang (方文山) to write the lyrics 『天青色等煙雨，而我在等你』in Jay Chou's song 青花瓷 (Blue and white porcelain).

Vincent Fang said, the most powerless kind of helplessness in love was waiting.

The sky green colour had to wait for the rain, which it had no idea when it would arrive. After the rain stopped, the thick clouds dissipated, in the clear skies, the sky green colour would then be able to appear. This was just like how he could only passively and quietly wait, for his lady whom he had no idea when she would appear.

Gradually, I started thinking that in this lifetime, I would not be able to wait for that person to appear. Perhaps Yue Lao (the elderly celestial under the moon) did not tie the red string on me.

After many years of learning the Dharma, one day, I suddenly came to the realisation that nothing is a must to own.

Secular love is a black hole of desires. That is why romantic shows are evergreen.

On 21 February 2015, the 3rd day of the Lunar New Year, my Root Guru Living Buddha Lian-Sheng spoke in an interview with the Taiwan CTI Television Inc.: https://youtu.be/EPDxwSt6a5I （timestamp 12:08）

"My personal take on love is this. Since I love her, I will want her to be blissful, and not to possess her. Such love isn't possession. Actually love isn't possession. If love is possession, that belongs to desire. If love isn't desire, I will wish her well. Although I love her, she doesn't love me, but loves another person, so I will give her my best wishes. If loving another person brings her more happiness, I will wish her well. Such love isn't possessive love. If it is possessive love, there will surely be pain."

Then I realised, the one that I had been waiting all along for is myself. Waiting for my wisdom to develop, waiting for my heart to be more open, so that I would not place my happiness in the hands of another person, and let the person decide for me when I should be happy, for how long I can stay happy...

My destiny is in my hands. How it pans out is up to me to say.

I gently picked up a serviette from the table and passed it to my lady client. In a mush of mucus and tears, she thanked me.

Borrowing an old joke from Shifu, I gently told her, "Don't cry. Singapore lacks water. If you want to cry, you should cry at a nearby reservoir. This way, we don't have to see the colours of Malaysia in order to get more water."

She broke into a smile among her tears.

I continued, "After looking at your Bazi, and now that I have seen you in person, I advise you to be more honest with me, or else I will not be able to help you. You have all along been a mistress to other men, and you dare to come crying to me that no man wanted to marry you? Didn't you also stole some money from them? The way I see you, you obviously have a money grubber face."

My advice to all swordsmen: If you wish to use your tears as a weapon in front of me, think thrice. Because if you are a hypocrite, I will definitely rip your mask apart.

聽聞現在流行 diss 周杰倫。我對他呢，現在屬無感，退粉很多年了。本篇不聊音樂，我不懂音樂，但我懂市場、懂商人。
　
每一位歌手成名後，都會面臨各種抉擇和誘惑。有人的職人精神令人敬佩，有人寧可當花果山大王一呼百應，無論是哪種選擇都沒有錯。周杰倫不欠我們啥，他也曾經給過我們許多。
　
華語歌壇鮮少有歌手，優作一撈一大把，首首是經典。人們都在懷念他的舊作，可是我想請問，那些舊作放到今時今日真的有市場嗎？台灣的舞台在縮小，祖國的舞台嘛，就一個字：裝。
　
裝得多元化，但實則只容得下正能量。隔壁某說唱節目連玩個饒舌，都剩下戀愛場。裝得有文化，古風曲一首接一首爆紅，細品那些文字，方文山會哭給你看。
　
自從有了抖音後，同胞們的品味變得一言難盡。抖音神曲，蓋世神功。遑論咱還有個很會審視你今天正能量了沒的文化部，說你低俗你就是低俗，說你不愛國你就是不愛國。
　
《忍者》宣揚日本文化，NO。《爸我回來了》太負面，NO。《威廉古堡》吸血太恐怖，NO。《止戰之殤》談戰爭卻不撕鬼子，NO。《以父之名》有神父寬恕直踩宗教線，NO。
　
周杰倫的退步是真的，但請容我坦白一點，整個華語市場也沒進步多少啊。台灣掰、香港掰，祖國不是失戀歌就是我戀愛了，彷彿地球人只剩下談戀愛。
　
在罵《Mojito》膚淺的同時，有沒有想過黃俊郎也曾經寫過《夜的第七章》？《Mojito》具備宣傳尷尬癌末期的周遊記功能，《夜的第七章》喚起的是福爾摩斯。
　
「天青色等煙雨而我在等你」能拉近與年輕同胞粉絲的距離嗎？搖手指。「哥練的胸肌如果你還想靠」才接地氣，懂？一樣都是挽留感情，現代孩子誰跟你膩膩歪歪來首《青花瓷》。
　
不愛我就拉倒啦！
　
粉絲懷念那個窩在錄音室一個月寫歌被打槍再寫的周杰倫，但人家明明想要成就的霸業是打造自己的娛樂王國，讓兄弟們都有口飯吃。我們會長大，他也會。可能成長的方向不是你要的，但市場不是只有你和我。
　
四十歲的男子還在《等你下課》是荒唐了點，但是四十歲的商人為市場做了合理的妥協，是明智的。
　
不愛他了也別嫌吧。來，跟著我一起變心李榮浩。

天青色等煙雨，而我在等你~~🤠
方文山、陳子鴻來高雄與青年朋友對談
美雅邀請你一起來參加！登登登～
📣高雄市青年局林局長邀請方文山老師、陳子鴻老師，重磅出擊「青年對談-創作與夢想實踐」
歡迎👏有想法有音樂夢的年輕人向大師請益！

#美雅是不是也要向老師們請教其他琴曲😂
#活動免費參加火速報名
#年輕朋友一起來
#附上報名連結🔗
https://www.surveycake.com/s/8nQyG

#周杰倫 #青花瓷 #二胡
周杰倫-青花瓷 二胡版 by 永安
Jay Chou - Blue and White Porcelain (Erhu Cover by YungAn)
http://blog.xuite.net/wangan/njb/48924685

2008年8月，公司舉辦了『仲夏夜音樂會』請我去表演二胡，當時我選的曲目就是『周杰倫』的『青花瓷』。表演前匆匆錄了音，放在部落格上。也是因為這個機緣，邁開了『永安的心情二胡』部落格的第一步。周董唱的這首青花瓷的旋律是輕快的中國風，帶有一點點戲曲唱腔，在當時紅遍大街小巷，我也是非常地喜歡，常常用二胡玩呢。

今年，2011年的8月，也就音樂會表演的三年後，『樂沙網』舉辦了第七期的網路翻奏比賽，曲目恰巧就是青花瓷。原本我想直接拿當年的錄音去參賽，但是一聽之下，才發現2008年的錄音品質真的太糟糕了。那時麥克風比較便宜，我也不懂怎麼分軌錄音。錄出來二胡很多都爆音，沒有保留原始檔，所以也無法事後補救。這次索性重錄整首，音質提升了不少，但是二胡的味道跟當年差不多，沒啥長進... 因為趕著8月初交稿參加活動，很多地方拉得挺粗糙的，還請各位客倌多多包涵，不吝指教囉！^O^

===================

周杰倫-青花瓷 二胡版

原唱：周杰倫
作詞：方文山
作曲：周杰倫
原曲發行時間：2007年11月2日
簡譜：永安
二胡：永安

1=A

素胚勾勒出青花筆鋒濃轉淡
2 1 6 1 1 6 1 1 6 1 6 5
瓶身描繪的牡丹一如妳初妝
2 1 6 1 1 6 1 1 3 2 1 1
冉冉檀香透過窗心事我了然
5 6 3 3 3 2 3 3 2 3 5 3
宣紙上 走筆至此擱一半
3 3 3 2 2 2 2 2 1 32

釉色渲染仕女圖韻味被私藏
2 1 6 1 1 6 1 1 6 1 6 5
而妳嫣然的一笑如含苞待放
5 6 3 5 5 3 5 5 3 2 1 1
妳的美一縷飄散
2 1 2 3 2 212
去到我去不了的地方
1 6 2 1 1 6 1 1 1

天青色等煙雨 而我在等妳
5 5 3 2 3 6 2 3 5 3 2
炊煙嫋嫋升起 隔江千萬裡
5 5 3 2 3 5 2 3 5 2 1
在瓶底書漢隸仿前朝的飄逸
1 2 3 5 6 5 3 5 3 3 2 2
就當我 為遇見妳伏筆
1 2 1 2 1 2 3 5 3

天青色等煙雨 而我在等妳
5 5 3 2 3 6 2 3 5 3 2
月色被打撈起 暈開了結局
5 5 3 2 3 5 2 3 5 2 1
如傳世的青花瓷自顧自美麗
1 2 3 5 6 5 3 5 3 3 2 2
妳眼帶笑意
5 3 2 2 1

色白花青的錦鯉躍然於碗底
2 1 6 1 1 6 1 1 6 1 6 5
臨摹宋體落款時卻惦記著妳
2 1 6 1 1 6 1 1 3 2 1 1
妳隱藏在窯燒裡千年的秘密
5 6 3 3 3 2 3 3 2 3 5 3
極細膩 猶如繡花針落地
3 3 3 2 2 2 2 2 1 32

簾外芭蕉惹驟雨 門環惹銅綠
2 1 6 1 1 6 1 1 6 1 6 5
而我路過那江南小鎮惹了妳
5 6 3 5 5 3 5 5 3 2 1 1
在潑墨山水畫裡
2 1 2 3 2 212
妳從墨色深處被隱去
1 6 2 1 1 6 1 1 1

天青色等煙雨 而我在等妳
5 5 3 2 3 6 2 3 5 3 2
炊煙嫋嫋升起 隔江千萬裡
5 5 3 2 3 5 2 3 5 2 1
在瓶底書漢隸仿前朝的飄逸
1 2 3 5 6 5 3 5 3 3 2 2
就當我 為遇見妳伏筆
1 2 1 2 1 2 3 5 3

天青色等煙雨 而我在等妳
5 5 3 2 3 6 2 3 5 3 2
月色被打撈起 暈開了結局
5 5 3 2 3 5 2 3 5 2 1
如傳世的青花瓷自顧自美麗
1 2 3 5 6 5 3 5 3 3 2 2
妳眼帶笑意
5 3 2 2 1

1=bB

天青色等煙雨 而我在等妳
5 5 3 2 3 6 2 3 5 3 2
炊煙嫋嫋升起 隔江千萬裡
5 5 3 2 3 5 2 3 5 2 1
在瓶底書漢隸仿前朝的飄逸
1 2 3 5 6 5 3 5 3 3 2 2
就當我 為遇見妳伏筆
1 2 1 2 1 2 3 5 3

天青色等煙雨 而我在等妳
5 5 3 2 3 6 2 3 5 3 2
月色被打撈起 暈開了結局
5 5 3 2 3 5 2 3 5 2 1
如傳世的青花瓷自顧自美麗
1 2 3 5 6 5 3 5 3 3 2 2
妳眼帶笑意
5 3 2 2 1