[翻轉視界 3] 媽媽是世界上最辛苦工作

To all the mothers out there, thank you for your sacrifices and happy Mother’s Day!

辛苦了， 媽媽們!

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原文及圖片授權來自於 Humans of Taipei和台灣社區實踐協會

結婚前，我在日商公司的工廠工作，當到管理幹部，本來也存了一筆錢準備婚後買房，沒想到婚後，根本來想的完全不一樣。

Before I got married, I worked in a factory ran by a Japanese company. I worked my way up to management and saved some money to purchase a house after marriage. Little did I expect how different life would be after I got married.

1. work your way up/to the top 逐步達成: https://bit.ly/2La73Eu

2. little did somebody know/realize/think 用來說某人不知道或認為某事會發生或是真的: https://bit.ly/2SJ7s4Z

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我和前夫是朋友介紹認識的。一直以來，我在感情裡面都沒什麼自信、處於弱勢，總是被拋棄的那一方。之前也有個男友曾經論及婚嫁，但他媽媽嫌我內向不會講話，沒辦法幫忙做生意，所以後來還是分手了。我跟前夫交往沒有幾個月就結婚，那時候覺得他在公司工作五、六年，應該很有定性，感覺也是個顧家、愛小孩的人。雖然不致於大富大貴，但夫妻倆應該可以過個穩定的幸福生活。

My ex-husband and I were introduced by friends. I have never had much confidence in my relationships. I was always the weaker half, the one who was always left behind. Before my ex-husband, I had a boyfriend who proposed marriage, but his mother felt that I was too much of an introvert and could not help him manage his business. We parted ways in the end. My ex-husband and I got married a few months after we began dating. He had been working in his company for five to six years at the time, so I felt he had a stable life. He also felt like a family man and one who loves children. While he was not rich, I felt we could live a stable and happy life.

3. have confidence in… 對…有信心
4. propose marriage 提出結婚、論及婚嫁
5. introvert 性格內向者
6. part ways 分開
7. see each other 交往，談戀愛
8. a family man 關心家庭的人
9. stable life 穩定的生活

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婚後，陸續生下大女兒和小兒子，兩個差三歲，但都是我在養。老公婚後都是半夜才回家，而且他除了房租以外，其餘生活開銷都不肯出。我盡量維持他在外的形象，都沒有跟別人說。因為實在沒錢，我還曾經打去他的公司，問老闆什麼時候發薪水？老闆很驚訝地跟我說，他的薪水比廠長還高，我們應該生活無虞才對。

After marriage, we had our eldest daughter and a son three years later, but I had to raise them myself. My husband would always return home after midnight, and he never paid for any living expenses other than rent. I tried to help maintain his image so I kept silent. However, I just did not have enough money, so I called his company one day and asked his boss when he would be paid. His boss was surprised. He told me that my husband’s salary was higher than that of the factory director and we should not have to worry about basic necessities.

10. raise 撫養
11. pay living expense 支付生活開銷
12. maintain one’s image 維持形象
13. factory director 廠長
14. basic necessities 基本生活必需物品與花用

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我實在不知道他半夜都去哪，把錢花到哪去。總之，我一直苦撐，我總覺得小孩要有爸爸、要有完整的家庭；撐越久，又覺得「我都已經撐這麼久了」，如果現在放棄的話，那不就前功盡棄了嗎？本來要用來買房子的存款，為了養小孩，全部花完，後來我幾乎一天只吃一餐，最慘的時候，還曾經母子三人吃一個便當。

I really didn’t know where he went in the middle of the night, and where he spent all his money. I hung on because I felt that the children must have a father and a complete family. I thought that I had already hung on for so long—if I had given up, then everything would have been for nothing. The money I had saved to purchase a house was completely spent on my children. I could only eat one meal a day, and at times the three of us would only share a single lunchbox.

15. hang on 堅持*
16. at times 有時
17. lunchbox 便當

*hang on (5): https://bit.ly/3frV9Uf

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你能想像嗎？我家沒有電視也沒有電腦，冷氣壞了沒辦法修，洗衣機壞了，我只能手洗衣服。社工問我，為什麼小孩身上臭臭的？我也不知道該怎麼說，因為他們的衣服本來就是二手的，而且我只能手洗，他們一流汗就臭了。還好，我去工作之後，偶爾可以把衣服拿去投幣式洗衣機啦。

Could you imagine what we went through? There wasn’t a TV or a computer in our house. Even when the air conditioner or the washing machine was broken, we could not fix it. I had to wash the clothes by hand! The social worker would ask me why the kids’ clothes stank, and I did not know what to tell them. Thankfully, after I began working, we could occasionally take our clothes to a coin-operated laundromat.

18. go through 遭受，經歷，經受（苦難等）
19. stink (v.) 散發異味，發出難聞的氣味
20. thankfully 通常用於句首，表示高興或感激）幸好，幸虧
21. coin-operated laundromat 投幣式洗衣店*

*launderette: https://bit.ly/2Wb8FUz

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我苦撐了十年才離婚，後來徹底心寒，是因為債務問題。我前夫不拿錢回家，我只能用信用卡去大賣場採買日常用品，前夫要買什麼，也會要我刷卡，甚至還要幫他付電話費，一個月就兩萬元。我說我不幫你繳，他說好阿，那被停話你跟小孩就找不到我了。就這樣債務累積越來越多，到最後，我只好跟銀行談妥還債計畫，跟娘家借錢還債。這也讓我決定離婚。

I hung on for a decade before filing for divorce. I found out later that my ex-husband had debt problems. He did not bring any money home, so I could only use credit cards to purchase groceries. Whatever he wanted to buy, he would ask me to use my card. I even had to pay his phone bills. Sometimes the bills amounted to 20,000 a month, so I told my husband I would not pay. "That's fine, but then you and the kids wouldn't be able to reach me anymore, " he said. The debts piled up until finally, I negotiated a debt settlement with the bank and asked my in-laws for money to pay the bank. I decided to file for divorce afterward.

22. get a divorce 離婚
23. debt problem 債務問題
24. purchase groceries 購買食品雜貨
25. pile up（使）（不好的事物）增加，（使）累積
26. debt settlement 還債計畫*
27. in-laws 姻親
28. file for divorce 在法庭提起離婚訴訟

*debt settlement https://bit.ly/3djBofy

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目前，我們還跟前夫住在一起，因為要搬出去，就得準備兩個月的押金和第一個月的租金，我得要努力存錢才有能力處理。阿山他們介紹我去超市工作，我希望超市趕快開幕，我才有辦法趕快賺錢搬出去。

At present, my children and I are still living with my ex-husband, because you need to have a two-month deposit and payment for the first month to rent a place. I have to work harder and save. Ah Shan and them (social workers) found me a job at a supermarket. I wished it would open soon so I could save and move out.

29. deposit 押金
30. social worker 社工

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其實，哪個女生不希望嫁個好老公？但是老公再有錢，沒有真心愛妳都沒用；即使老公賺不多，但只要願意顧家，那就是好老公。

All girls want a good husband. However, if your husband doesn't really love you, it doesn't matter how rich he is. Even if your husband does not make much, if he cares for his family, then he is a good husband.

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資訊與照片出處:
https://bit.ly/2WFeqsz

Visit Humans of Taipei for more stories!

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如何增進同理心: https://bit.ly/34qSKnC

Humans of Taipei: https://bit.ly/2S2Avjz

台灣社區發展協會: https://bit.ly/3cfRqHq

#ChangingPerspectives
#翻轉視界

#睡前的murmur
#窮留學生的二手傢俱建議清單
　
我的粉絲中，應該有不少是曾經到京都唸書的學長姐弟妹吧，這陣子在京都留學生的社團中，不斷的看到這學期結束後要離開京都，陸續出清家中電器與傢俱的訊息，讓我想起了當年自己要離開住了一年的房間，將房內的傢俱出清後，換取現金作為運費，將行李海運回台灣，心裡覺得離奇，明明很省，為何來日本時只有三箱，回台灣時卻繁殖成了六大箱！日本海運的運費又比台灣貴，付錢給日本郵差阿北時，簡直心在淌血！
　
身為「前」窮困留學生的建議，可以便宜接手學長姐的傢俱，真的心懷感激，我的經驗有幾項傢具接下來，會對未來的生活方便很多：
1. 暖桌：必買！京都嚇死人的冬天超冷，不想花大錢開暖氣，暖桌是你的好夥伴，被你度過每一個寒冷的夜晚，否則忍不住開暖氣，每個月會看到嚇死人的電費。
2. 大同電鍋：台灣留學生口耳相傳好物，還有人自己手提來日本，煮菜熱便當都超好用，燉雞湯燉滷味都很好用。
3. 微波爐：簡單料理跟熱菜時很好用，有便宜的可以接，覺得跟大同電鍋可以擇一，但我兩個都有XD
4. 煮飯電鍋：雖然大同電鍋也可以煮飯，可是火侯沒拿捏好，飯會煮過頭或者是沒熟，有便宜煮飯電鍋可以接手。
5. 電視：這項就一定較貴，也不是每個人都覺得必須，可是我一年很「認真」的看電視聽電視，聽力上面真的進步很多。
6. 洗衣機、冰箱：這類型的大型家電，轉手的人比較少，這也跟租房子類型有關，有些學校幫忙安排的租屋，房內會有基本的傢俱，可是大部份在日本租房子，房間都是空空的，什麼都沒有，這種大型家電真的要接二手會便宜很多，洗衣服不需要去外面投幣式也比較乾淨方便，冰箱就更不用說了，可是也要考慮到要離開時，如果無法找到人接手，要請專門業者處理大型家電，也要多花一筆費用，所以自已要衡量一下租屋狀況，才知道是否要接手這類型大型傢俱。
　
每人對自己生活的需求高低有所不同，我也看過同學物慾很低，什麼東西都不需要，房間都空空的，也看過其他國家同學因為不煮飯，都是外食或便利商店，只需要一台微波爐就夠了。就看自己需要什麼，我的建議也只是我自身所體驗過的看法而已，參考就好。
　
三月是離開學校的季節，送走了一批舊人，四月則是新學期的開始，又迎來了一批新人，就如此的春夏秋冬循環多少年過去了，只是每次看到過去的生活的照片，好像是昨天的情景，也許是那一年的學生生活太無憂太無慮，才惹得我不停思念吧。
　
（照片是我離開租屋時的那天早上，原本快滿出來的房間，已經空蕩蕩，看不出自己在這裡生活過一年的痕跡。）